BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: jennm0474 on June 15, 2009, 00:58:35 am
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After sleeping like a DREAM for the last 8 months.......DS started out right refusing to go to bed. Screaming at the top of his lungs.....for hours!!!
I tried WI/WO - but it seems to make him even more upset. He is happy while I'm comforting him - rubbing his back - but the minute I leave he starts screaming again.
This has gone on for the last 4 nights and seems to be out of the blue.
I am not sure what to do? This was completely out of the blue - he was falling asleep on his own for the last 8 months....going to bed awake and falling asleep by himself without a problem. It's kind of making me nervous that he's doing this all of a sudden. ??? ??? ??? ???
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Is he by any chance teething? It's about time for those 2 year molars. Can you post your usual routine in terms of wake up/nap/bedtime? {{{{hugs}}}}
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He usually gets cold symptoms when he's teething. I tried Tylenol the other night and it didn't seem to make much of a difference and that usually works when he's teething -so I figured that wasn't it.
Ok - here is his daily schedule.
6:30-7am - Wake up
7:30-8:00am - Breakfast
8:30 - 11:30am - PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY (he's home on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday - Tuesday, Wed, Thursd he's at an at home daycare)
11:30am - LUNCH
12:30pm - 2:30 or 3pm - Nap
3:00pm - snack
3:30 - 5:00pm - Play
5:30 pm - dinner
6:00pm - Bath time
6:30 - wind down time / stories
6:45 / 7pm - bed time
He has been on this exact schedule for about 3 months (when he dropped his morning naps) without any problem....and then BAM - out of the blue he just won't go to bed.
He went in for his nap today without as much as a peep......but now it's bed time and he's SCREAMING....like he's terrified of something.
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Is your LO talking enough for you to ask him why he isn't happy going to bed? It sounds like he is scared...
Your routine looks good to me (I'm no expert though)...
Have you got a night light in the room, have you looked to see if there are any new "scary" shadow shapes in his room? Perhaps he has had a nightmare or an illness previously that has upset him? Have you started any new activities? Any family upheavals recently?
Sorry for all the questions, but just read the end of BW and Tracy always suggests to look at what has changed, because usually there is a trigger....
Lizzie
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He is talking - but only enough to say "no" when I say "it's time for night night"
He has a nightlight although I haven't checked for any scary shadows in his room. I can't really think of anything that's changes or any family upheavals recently. It's been raining like crazy here lately and he hasn't gotten as much outside play as he usually does and he is constantly asking to go outside - so that could be something.
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Hi- I was wonder if UT was an issue- if he's not been getting as much outside time.
We've been getting stalling at bedtime lately too- doesn't seem SA, just maybe ready to wake from his nap a bit earlier? Mine naps till 2:30 or 3, but has NOT been going down easily at 7:30PM.
I too have been wondering;
teething
speech/motor milestones
changes to environment (for us, yes, new daycare)
maybe shortening naps if UT...
Hope it passes soon!
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just wanted to let you know that my 23 month old has just started the crying thing before bedtime too. he has always gone to bed at both naps and night beautifully, but all of the sudden now he cries before both. i'm wondering if it's SA too.
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Going through this right now with my 20 month old DD. I'm positive it's SA, as I went through it with DD1 every once in awhile between 18 months and 3 years and our routine is solid. WI/WO was a disaster with a capital D last night, took her 1.5 hours to fall asleep, and she was awake between 2 and 3:30 am until I figured it out. I'm APing as little as possible, staying in her room until she falls asleep, but not making eye contact or touching her. Took 20 minutes tonight and not much crying on her end. My plan is to keep our bedtime routine the same and if she stands up and starts screaming then I go back in and comfort her, lay her back down and back away until she's asleep. If this continues more than a week then I've created a new prop and I'll have to deal with it then, but TBH, she's a great independent sleeper with a good routine... Even IF I've given her a prop it won't take much time to straighten her out. I'm sure she'll be fine in a few days, she just needs to get past this hurdle and be reassured that I'm there for her. I'm hoping I'm right! :)
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I went thru this too about 5 months ago....dd was about 26 mos. I never did figure it out...just did my own version of WI/WO....and a bit of AP. It stopped as suddenly as it began...it lasted 5 long days, though. She had/has always been the best sleeper, and actually asks to go to bed....so I have no idea what that glitch was. ?? Like your ds, my dd seemed so scared...it was awful.
How have you been handling it thus far?? WI/WO? Or something else? WI/WO made my dd insane....I had to combine several techniques and some ap to get her through it.
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Hi Anne! I was thinking of you at 2:30 this morning! ;D I remember when Amelia went through it, I'm hoping Hayden's phase passes in a few days too. :)
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Hi Nicole! That's so weird because I BOLTED awake at 2:30 am (NY time) because there was a thunder boom so loud that I swear it was in our room! So you weren't the only one awake because of loud noises! ;)
I'm going to go hunt down that thread from when Amelia was doing this....can I tell you this place is better than having a baby book?? I love reading over old posts!!
You'll get through it!!!
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LOL, this place IS Hayden's baby book! Maren's is the old-fashioned paper kind with photos and snippets and anecdotes about all her cute stuff ::) ;D
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I print stuff out from here all the time. I think Amelia will get a kick out of it when she's older..."Look honey, hundreds of women all over the world were thinking of you!" ;D (*the losing bun thread is a classic*) :)
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I think I'll do that too! Even though I've written nothing in her real baby book, I have about 2000 posts all about my little Miss H.
As far as the SA goes tonight she went down with me in the room again, but I just told her it was sleepy time and that she should lay down... she did, quietly, and then stared at me until she went to sleep. Easier than the night before and the night before that, so I think she'll figure it out soon enough. :)
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Oh that's really good progress, well done :)
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Last night was so-so, she had a NW around 12:30 and I spent 20 minutes standing in her room until she fell asleep again, or so I thought. As soon as I left the room she bolted upright and started to cry again, but laid down when I told her it was time to be asleep and then I just left the room. She didn't make another peep. And tonight she stood up and started to cry when I put her down, then laid down when I told her it was sleepy time, and I left the room and she's been quiet since! Hopefully that's the end of it, but we'll see what overnight brings! :)
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Oh, and sorry to the OP if I just totally hijacked this thread. :-*
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Ok - so my DS has gone to sleep like an angel for the last 2 nights. I haven't changed anything and he's back to normal.....
It stopped as quickly as it started....
I am happy - but still confused. :-)
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Well I'm glad you are happy...about the confused, sounds like it happen to a lot of bubs so perhaps there is some brain development that goes on at this age?? Glad that it's all settling down for you though :)
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That's just how it happened for us, too. You'll never know what it was...but at least it's over!!! A friend of mine told me once that her ds had gone thru a bout of this, and about 3 months later, he was talking ALOT more than he was 3 months prior, and he said to his Mom, "mama, birdie bang the window...bang,bang! I cry" Of course this made no sense to her, but later it dawned on her that if a bird flew into his window and scared him to death during a nap, or while he was just gazing out the window falling asleep, that that could have been the cause of the NWs from a few months ago!!
Anyway...congratulations!! Now I wish the same for Nicole!!! Go to sleep, Hayden...stop holding mama hostage.
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When Maren went through this, it was right after we'd gone camping and she'd slept in the bed with us in the trailer. Since we've never coslept, this was a huge novelty for her, but as soon as we got home she went through massive SA when put in her bed for sleep. It was like she figured out that when she's in her own room, we're off doing something else. You just never know where their little minds are going!
As for Miss Hayden, she had no NWs last night and went down relatively easy tonight... she stood up as soon as I put her in her crib, started to cry, I said no, honey, it's bed time now, you need to lay down, and she did. Then I left the room and she's been quiet ever since. So not perfect yet, but WAY better. I don't know what triggered it, but she is talking a lot more now, saying words that are crystal clear where last week we might have been the only ones to understand her, so I guess it could be developmental too.
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So is your son going to sleep fine now? I was just wondering because my son is 20 months and just started doing this 2 days ago. He screams like he is terrified at nap and bedtime. I have not changed any routines and he will stop crying usually in about 15 minutes and go to sleep and stay asleep like usual. It is just so weird because he looks like he is scared. He just jumps up and down, screams, turns his fisher price aquarium off and holds his arms up and says 'pick, pick'. That is one of the few words he is able to say. The only thing that has changed is that his big sister is home now from school during naps. Just wondering if your son has gotten over this and hoping that it is just a phase. Hope to hear a reply soon.
-Monica
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UGHHHHH
We thought we were out of the woods....but it has started again. The last couple of night he hasn't gone to bed well at all. WI/WO does not work at all. It makes him even more upset. I changed his bedtime routine a bit to give him some more wind down time but that isn't working either.
Last night he cried for about 1 hour. (in between me going in and out of the room)...when I walk in the room he points to the rocking chair because he wants me to hold him and rock in the chair. If I do that - he falls asleep in my arms, but I don't want to get into that habit.
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Hi- sorry to hear you're still having trouble with bedtime sleep. We're still in the midst of teething molars and some nights having to give an extra long winddown and rocking.
My general approach ATM, is if he's genuinely distressed, I'll give some Motrin, then rock a bit, put him down when relaxed, but NOT yet asleep. I hear you about not wanting to start the pattern of falling asleep in the rocker as a habit! Hugs, and know you're not alone.
Stay the course, comfort as you must. Hugs.
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So glad to hear that I'm not alone! I have a 21 month old ds who has just recently started being terrified at bedtime. I have followed BW since he was 3 months and he has been a wonderful independent sleeper until now. This is the first time he has ever seemed afraid. I can't figure it out and tonight I caved and picked him up after 10 minutes of him standing there crying "MOMA" and rocked him again and laid him back down. Then after 10 more minutes, I sent my dh in to get him. DH rocked him to sleep and put him down. I don't want to start rocking to sleep bc we have never had to do that, and it's not a habit I want to begin. I'm just telling myself it will pass and I'm going to try to not pick him up anymore. The problem is that we're going on vacation next week and I think all our work may go down the drain! Will he ever remember that he likes to go to bed?!
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Sweetie the way I see it (and this could be wrong) when you are on vacation the rules are allowed to be slackened off and AP is ok :) It's meant to be a break for you all, so try not to worry about it too much. When you get back, gently try and get your LO back into his good habits...you will get there, it sounds like this is a very common stage, so I suspect it's a developmental thing...hang in there. Give him cuddles in the cot (ie cuddle but don't pick him up), speak soothingly and stay in the room for now if he needs you to, then gradually withdraw again.....
I so hope that you both succeed soon :)
Good luck
xx Lizzie
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My DS just screams so loudly. Saturday night I was in and out of his room until 2am. Finally I did the worst thing I could have possibly done....I brought him into my bed and he fell asleep. I was so tired - I needed to get some sleep.
The last couple of nights he's done a little better. I have given him Tylenol because I really think he's teething. He's been drooling allot again - which he hasn't done in a while.
I feel so bad when he is so upset. It's a cry of terror...and when I try to put him back in crib - he clings to me like I am trying to drop him off a cliff or something......
I wish I had the answer! My DD never did this...and she's 4 now.
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{{{{{hugs}}}}} it could be teething - it could also be some separation anxiety. You may want to try doing some low key play time in his room - or even in his bed, so he's not so scared of it. Don't beat yourself up over bringing him to bed with you. Just start fresh tomorrow. Hang in there!!!
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we are still dealing with the tears before bed and it's been going on for about a month now. sometimes my 23 month old will cry for a few minutes and then get control and just lay in there and talk for a few minutes and fall asleep and sometimes like last night he will cry for a good 20 minutes before falling asleep. i HATE ending the day that way...and he does much, much worse if i go in there because he will just say "hold you" and want me to hold him only for the whole thing to start all over again once i put him in the crib. if i tell him from outside his door to lay down and go to sleep, he screams even louder so for us the best thing is to shut the door and walk away and that seems to lead to the least amount of tears, although there are still plenty of tears. it is so hard. i feel like a terrible mom that my son cries himself to sleep several nights a week! i hoping it is just a phase...i think he is fighting sleep and would honestly rather be up playing and that is why he is crying.