Gradual Withdrawal...details please!

[Lu_C]

What is the ultimate aim of GW? Is it for DS to be awake but calm before you leave the room or do you leave when they're sleeping? Do we move onto WI/WO? How do we know when he's ready for WI/WO?


DS has started waking at night having been a very good sleeper for a long time. I took him on holiday to my parents for a month then a family holiday for a week 2 weeks after we got back. Before we left he was sleeping from 9 - 10 then 1 - 3 like clockwork - with a little wave and a smile as I walked out of the room to let him settle himself....bliss!
Then someone swapped him for another child! I tried CC, like an idiot (lost my BW and only had Toddler Taming by Green to hand), which did nothing for him but distress him more. Now I'm back and have BW but emergency of needing to get him to sleep robbed me of the luxury of reading it all through, so I leapt in with WI/WO after spotting it on a board. He was still very distressed and took 2 hours to get back to sleep - both times with me/DH in the room.

Since Monday things have got much better - for a 2 hour middle-of-the-night wake-up, this morning he roused at just gone 5 and DH is sitting in his room until 7 (I did the first stint!). Day sleeps are still precarious, he was refusing any sleep on Monday but yesterday despite being in the car - arghh! - he fell asleep at 9 on the dot then took 15 mins to settle at 1. I was a bit off with timings yesterday, which is why he fell asleep on teh way home...tried to put him down when we got home, but knew I was flogging a dead horse. Blast. Now it's weekend and DH is home I wonder if LO will be able to settle as easier - DH is a lot of fun!
Whilst sitting there in the dark, baby kicking about inside and recipes for the week rattling around (obviously time for breakfast!) that was when I started wondering the above questions. Any suggestions send my way PLEASE! x

[elmarie]

The ultimate idea of GW is that you can get out of the room while ds is still awake.  It sounds like ds is sleep trained if he has slept before.  What worked for us was (my ds was also sleep trained) to start with PD, putting her down every time she stands up.  I would stay at her cot and do PD until she settled relatively easy (this took 2 weeks).  Once this happened I would move away from the cot towards the door one step at a time. The steps must be so small that lo doesn't even realise that you are moving away ( I move away from the cot once I did PD and she settled)Just remember that when you move towards the door your lo must still be able to see you if he bops up his head to check -once again this took about 2 weeks, Once you are at the door, you leave.  This is when I started wi/pd/wo.  (this only took 3 nights for dd not to cry when I leave the room).  When you leave the room and he starts crying, go in and say "it's time to sleep, mommy loves you-here is your lovie" or what ever you use when you say goodnight and leave the room.  Leave the room even if he is crying or standing up.  Start timing.  I stay out for 1 min (5,10 sec I found was too stimulating for my Lo-but you need to experiment taking your lo's personality into consideration).  If it is a mantra cry, don't go in.  Then keep repeating going in (if real cry) until he settles.  I found that most of the time the cries are mantras.....

Elmarie XX