Author Topic: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!  (Read 8976 times)

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Offline mukta

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #30 on: October 12, 2007, 00:21:19 AM »
well done, so looks like there always is some light at the end of our tunnel!!! Here's to a new tomorrow..

lets see how tonigt goes, but DS did nap for three hours finally so hopefully the night should be better...fingers crossed!


Offline MomofCharlie

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« Reply #31 on: October 15, 2007, 15:09:42 PM »
Well, I've gone through a few nights since I last posted... I went back to the source, and re-read portions of The Secrets of the BW, then ordered and read most of The BW Solves all Your Problems, and am even more confused about what I should be doing. BWSAYP says for me to keep my hand on my LO until he falls asleep; I'd been told previously on other boards to let him settle himself. Either way, he's not settling well, easily or quickly.

Last night, he awoke at 3:15, crying, as he'd gotten himself all twisted up in his grobag and his head was up against the crib rails. So I gently moved him, he stopped crying, and I kept my hand on him, waiting for him to settle or even fall asleep. By 5:15, I had had it, mentally and physically. I took him downstairs, put him down on the area rug for a 5-minute timeout for myself, then breastfed him. He then went right back to sleep after taking an entire feeding, or very close to it. Tracy warns of getting a child into the habit of a night feeding, so I'm wary, but it did seem to satisfy him. Or did I just use myself as a pacifier? It's so unclear. We've started solids, sometimes he eats them vigorously, other times he seems less interested. Same goes for BF'ing now. SOmetimes he seems very eager, other times he's distracted and bobbing off. Please tell me whether this is normal, and whether you think I can solve these NWs by just feeding him. If so, I'll accept the way it is and move on. Otherwise, I'm going crazy, trying to extend naps (which are often only 30 minutes these past few days), trying to get him back to sleep at night for over 2 hours. I feel like nothing I do is working, and I've lost confidence in my ability to tell whether my child is hungry or in pain or just in a bad habit.

I had a good cry this morning with DH, who keeps telling me I'm doing a great job, but I feel as though I'm failing my LO somehow, by not providing (or even being able to figure out) what he needs, and by feeling frustrated as I did last night. I know my baby well, and am very attentive to him and conscious of him, but I just can't seem to read him at night. Maybe his messages are muddled through his exhaustion or my own.

Any advice, or commiseration, or even kind words to keep me sane??

Allison

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #32 on: October 15, 2007, 18:59:13 PM »
Oh Allison,
First of all you are NOT failing your child.  Every mom feels like this occasionally and I am sorry to say that it doesn't stop.  :(  I still feel that way sometimes.  The thing with being a parent is that you are constantly being challenged. It is a tough job and it is REALLY tough when the person you are trying to help doesn't speak your language.  Imagine how much time and patience you would have to have if you were trying to help someone who spoke Hebrew...a lot.  It is normal to cry, lose patience and doubt your ability as a mother.  The simple fact that you are here, asking for help, trying to figure him out and help him means that you are a caring, loving and wonderful mother.  Really.  Go easy on yourself because you are doing a VERY hard job and you are doing it well even though there are times when you feel you aren't.  I mean that.

Ok, so onto the problems eh?

Tracy does say in her book to allow them to self soothe as much as possible.  I used help Claire and try to do less and less so that she could do more.  Keeping your hand there for assurance isn't bad. I would just try to remove it occasionally.  Sometimes I would put my hand on Claire and then when I noticed her breathing slow down I would take it away, if she squirmed or started to cry I would put it down on her and take it away quickly.  The key is to only do what he needs you to do.  There are MANY babies who are still taking a feed at his age.  Tracy does say that most babies can go without a night feed at 4 months but I promise you that there are many BW babies who eat overnight long after 4 months.  If you believe he would take a full or almost full feed and then go back to sleep until the morning, then I would do that.  He might be more apt to drop that feed once solids are really established. 

It is normal for babies his age to eat eagerly at some meals and seem to want to play during others.  He is starting to really want to interact with the world and I bet eating sometimes seems a bit boring compared to everything else he could be trying to get into. 

Hang in there Allison. You are doing great. 
Myia
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Offline Amandamom

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #33 on: October 15, 2007, 22:50:43 PM »

I had a good cry this morning with DH, who keeps telling me I'm doing a great job, but I feel as though I'm failing my LO somehow, by not providing (or even being able to figure out) what he needs, and by feeling frustrated as I did last night. I know my baby well, and am very attentive to him and conscious of him, but I just can't seem to read him at night. Maybe his messages are muddled through his exhaustion or my own.

Any advice, or commiseration, or even kind words to keep me sane??

Allison

This is exactly how I feel!!!  I am putting all of my energy into getting my LO to sleep and she still isn't so I feel like I must be doing everything wrong.  My husband just called me and when he asked how my day was I just started crying.  You're not alone, I completely understand how you feel.
--Amanda
Mommy to Ian, 12, Lila, 2 and Cara, born 11/10/09

Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #34 on: October 16, 2007, 00:53:08 AM »
Oh, Myia and Amandamom!
Thanks so much. I've thought a lot today about what to do, and reading your message Myia reinforces what I suspect. I think he is hungry. I'll dreamfeed him tonight, then feed him again when he wakes around 3 or 4. I'm also going to try to feed him solids a bit sooner in the mornings, before he becomes too tired, and I'm also going to implement a lunch feeding of solids. When he's well-rested, he eats solids VERY eagerly. So my poor little bean has been hungry  :-\

I'm feeling much better about stuff. Today was a bit better. Only a half hour nap this morning, then he fell asleep while BF'ing, so I let him snooze for about 45 minutes, and it was as though he was reset. Had a good 1.25 hour nap this afternoon, no catnap, but lots of good eating.

Amandamom, hope things look up for the two of us. Any chance your LO is also hungry? As I mention earlier in this thread, I was worried about setting up a bad habit, but with my LO's new level of activity, I guess he needs it. Everyone tells us how long and slim he is (in 50th percentile, so very average), so maybe he'll fatten up now  ;D

Good evening. Thank you. And hoping for good sleeps for our LOs.

Allison

Offline Amandamom

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #35 on: October 16, 2007, 01:29:50 AM »
I'm glad your day was better.  My LO is not hungry at night, she was barely eating.  She slept 11 hrs straight last night, but had horrible afternoon and catnap today so we'll see what tonight brings.
I hope you have a good night!!!
--Amanda
Mommy to Ian, 12, Lila, 2 and Cara, born 11/10/09

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #36 on: October 16, 2007, 01:58:51 AM »
Allison,
I would consider NOT doing the df and just feeding one time if he wakes.  Now, don't get me wrong here.  If he wakes, takes a full feed and goes back to sleep for the rest of the night..he probably needs the feed.  When he starts not taking a full feed then it will be time to make sure he isn't using you as a prop, ok?  I say that to make sure I am not sending you down the wrong path.

Also, does he go down independantly for naps and bedtime?  Make sure you are working on that in the mean time.

Hang in there sweetie.  6 months was a VERY hard time for me.  I really struggled some days just to remain sane.
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Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #37 on: October 16, 2007, 02:29:31 AM »
OK. Will skip the DF then. Which means I can go to bed NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D

I'll keep a close watch on whether he takes the full feed. I experimented with this last week, and he most certainly did take the entire feed every time. He sleeps during the last 5 to 10 minutes of the feeding, but he's definitely sucking and swallowing steadily, for his usual length of time.

He goes down independently for naps (improving all the time, actually), and at bedtime, I feed him right before, and more often than not, he falls asleep during that feed. I try to rouse him a bit so that he knows that he's going to bed. If he doesn't fall asleep during his feed, he goes to sleep the same as for a nap: with our routine, which is a story, a song, swaddle in crib during last refrain of song (Wild World by Cat Stevens, my BAD rendition), I tell him he's going down for a nice nap or for a good bedtime sleep, then I slowly leave. His eyes are open when I leave. Sometimes he rolls around and starts to really cry. I go in, re-swaddle him, and he's out within 5 minutes. Our routine used to be longer, but I've refined it so that it's a steady movement toward the crib, and he hasn't skipped a beat.

Thanks so much! Have a great night.

Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #38 on: October 16, 2007, 03:11:11 AM »
Myia,
Quick question: why skip the DF? If I'm DF'ing him and he's still waking in the night for a full feed, shouldn't I give him both? Just curious. Thanks. Going to sleep now. Really. Must keep off ebay. No more halloween costumes for my LO. 3 is enough.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #39 on: October 16, 2007, 18:14:50 PM »
Well, sometimes the df can actually disrupt sleep in some babies and generally it does more harm than good at about 7 months so since he is 6 months I thought maybe you could give it a try. Also, by not doing the df you will probably ensure that he takes a good feed overnight instead of a coupld oz at the df and a few overnight.  This should help us gauge better what he needs and possibly work towards getting him to go all night for you.  Plus, like you said, not doing it will allow you to go to bed early if you choose.
 :)
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Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #40 on: October 16, 2007, 21:57:47 PM »
Aha! I get it. Well, last night worked out well. No DF, he woke at 4:30 am, took an entire feeding, then fiddled in his crib for about 25 minutes before drifting to sleep til 7:30 am. I stayed outside his room til he was asleep, except the one time he lost his paci through the crib rails. It's nice to know that when he wakes up crying, it's for a purpose: to eat. Makes me feel better.

Offline momofclaire

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #41 on: October 17, 2007, 01:14:35 AM »
Keep me posted.  In the mean time work on really getting a good routine under control and get solids established so that you might be able to drop that feed.  Start slowly with them and post in the solid food forum if you need help/advice.

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Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #42 on: October 17, 2007, 18:18:38 PM »
OK. Thanks. Last night was rough: woke at 2:15, so I fed him, but then he woke again at 4:30, 5:15, then 6:15. We gave up trying to put him back to sleep around 6:30, as there was no point in working so hard for half an hour more. So sleepy today.............................

Offline MomofCharlie

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #43 on: October 19, 2007, 14:28:33 PM »
Things are improving.... the last 2 nights, Charlie woke up at 4 for a feeding the first night, then slept through. Second night, he woke at midnight, hungry, as his last breastfeeding went miserably at 7. He then slept til 4:30, but resettled himself in about 10 minutes: I didn't even get out of bed!!

I'm going to try W2S today to try and extend his naps. He's gone to 45 minutes for both of them. I just snuck in and roused him at the 30-minute mark. Not sure I roused him enough. Will go have a look at the W2S boards right now.

Cheers!

Offline Amandamom

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Re: 6 month old awake (WIDE awake) at 4 am, every night!
« Reply #44 on: October 19, 2007, 15:08:05 PM »
It sounds like things are improving for you!  That's great!!! :)
--Amanda
Mommy to Ian, 12, Lila, 2 and Cara, born 11/10/09