He may be having a hard time with finger foods now, but it's a skill like any other that takes practice. I remember with Josie she liked eating corn and peas and cottage cheese, so we'd put some of one or two of those on the tray of her high chair and let her go to town. There was less actual eating than there was smooshing food and laying with it, but gradually her fingers did get better and better at it. And from time to time we'd put food in a bowl with a spoon and she could either have a go at it with the spoon or use her fingers instead.
Had we let mealtimes turn into a time of conflict, I think the negative association with mealtimes would have made it a lot less fun. I do remember singing songs to Josie to keep her occupied at mealtime from time to time, but it turned out that she and I had a great time, she learned some silly songs, and once I got past the idea that acting silly in front of a baby was beneath my dignity (believe it or not, I DID go thru that, and anyone who knows me will think that's hilarious
), it was fun to act like a goof. When I didn't know what else to sing, I'd sing the ABC song and put in the wrong letters and she'd giggle - quality time for sure, even if it made for an "inefficient" meal in terms of time spent eating.
Oh, we also got some placemats with the alphabet and colors and different animals and things to look at, and I'd put a piece of pasta or a pea or a cut-up piece of banana on this or that letter and we'd talk about it - look, the banana is on the red circle! It passed the time, and it gave her a focus to occupy herself when food wasn't her primary reason for sitting there this or that time.
Really, my going out of my way to make meals more fun and less tedious, and taking the time to meet her needs above and beyond calories made it more pleasant for both of us. I had my style that was different from, say my DH's, and our way of feeding was different from my mother's or his mom's, so she still was exposed to different procedures from different people, but we all made it work in our own ways, we all found something that worked for us. Took a while, and it was always-evolving, but it did work.
BTW, have you asked your childminder to please do less with the toys at mealtimes so your LO can get used to less being-entertained at mealtimes? She can probably help be part of the process.
