6 week old baby that doesn't like sleeping during the day

[Becky1985]

Hi, i have a 6 week old baby that doesnt sleep that much during the day, and because of this he gets over tired and winges. I have tried putting him in his crib at the sign of him being tired, i.e when he yawns or when his eyes start to drop, but when i do put him down he cries and will not sleep, i have been told to let him cry and he will soon become tired and send himself to sleep, is this true? How can i encourage him to sleep during the day? take more naps?I have also tried to put him down for a nap after his feed, however he begins to doze off on my lap and  when this happens i put him in the crib so he doesnt get used to falling asleep on my lap and he wakes up.

However, if we go out in the car or he goes out in his pram, he instantly falls asleep, but he doesnt sleep that much during the day when we are home. How can i encourage this? Please advise.

Thanks

[anna*]

Have you read any of the BW books? Have you tried to settle him with shush-pat? It might be that the first yawn is too late for him and he is already overtired, perhaps you could try putting him down sooner.

At this age the most important thing is that they get enough sleep and it would be very unusual for him to be able to gte to sleep by himself, he needs your help to teach him how, that is where shush-pat comes in. If s/p doesn't settle him, you could try wearing him in a sling to encourage him to catch up on sleep and then try again with s/p in a few weeks.

[Becky1985]

No i have not heard of the Shush pat what is this and how does it work? where am i able to get one? With regards to the sling i am concerned that he may then get used to falling asleep on me, and then when i do eventually put him down in his crib he will not sleep, as this happened with one of my friends babies. How and when should i put him down, encourage him to sleep if not on the first yawn? He is always so active and alert, he gets tired and yet he fights sleeping all the time, when he begins to doze he then wakes up kicking his arms and legs about wanting to play!

[~Sara~]

Hi hon!  I'm just going to ask a few questions to gauge where you are and make some suggestions/comments, and then we'll go from there.  Hang in there!  We're here to help

1) Have you read any of the Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg?  If not, then I'd strongly recommend reading "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How To Calm, Connect, and Communicate With Your Baby" and/or "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems."  The second one touches upon everything in the first, but it goes into much deeper detail and how-to.

2) Is your LO (little one) on any sort of a routine, be it EASY or one that he's set for herself?  If so, could you post what yesterday--or today--looked like in the EAS format for a full 24 hours?  Like this:

E(at): at ____, ____ oz
A(ctivity time): from ____ until ____; what did he do? What did his wind down routine look like?
S(leep): ____ until ____; did you have to resettle him? What did you do to try and get him back to sleep?

And, so on it goes for the rest of the day, except at night where you don't have any activity if he wakes up.  If you haven't tried keeping a log already, I highly recommend doing that because when you write things down, it helps you see patterns much better and also spot any issues that could be giving him problems.

Here are some sample logs that you can download:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=89943.0

3) We can help your LO get to sleep much more calmly and productively than using the cry it out method.  For young babies, Tracy recommended using a technique called shh/pat combined with a soothing wind down routine.  Together, these tools help your baby learn to go to sleep independently, which is a great skill for them to have!  It is a skill that normally is learned gradually, but your LO will feel like his needs are being met by you, even if he needs a bit of help getting to sleep.  With crying it out, there is a large chance for the relationship of trust to be broken as all the baby is saying is that they need our help getting to sleep; but when left to cry, they feel as though we're not listening to them.  They're so young, and they need our guidance.

4) Does your LO have any medical conditions like reflux?

5) Re: the conditions of your son's sleeping environment: is he in a crib? in his own room?  Is his room dark?  Do you use any white noise?  Is he swaddled or use a pacifier?

5) Here are some fabulous links that can help you get started:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65842.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63839.0

So, let's go from there, okay?  Just my initial thoughts are that his A times (awake times) or wind down routine needs adjusting; OR if he's not on a routine, getting him on one plus the previous two things.

Hang in there! *hugs*

***Anna's advice is great!!

[anna*]

I really advise you get a hold of one of the Babywhisperer books, she goes into so much detail about all of the techniques you'll hear talked about on this site.

Yes, using a sling can become a prop if you use it all the time. But using it for a short time each day while your baby is so young won't do any harm. Most people find that 10-12 weeks is a good time to start sleep training.

Have you used a swaddle? When he's kicking his arms and legs about, that is because he is really tired, not wanting to play, but the flailing will keep him awake. A good tight swaddle will help control his limbs and help him to settle.

Here are some useful links for you to read through:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10384.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65842.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

[anna*]

Oops cross posted!

[Becky1985]

Hi

He is not in any fixed routine at the moment, however in the evenings we tend to give him the last feed around 10/10:30ishpm and he normally then falls to sleep straight away. We then take him up to his crib whih is in our room. He sleeps through until around 3ish AM maybe bit before and then normally goes through to 6ish AM. His 6am feed he normally does not go down that easily he normally has a kick about and 'chat' in his crib for about 15 mins before he finally settles then he normally wakes about 8am.

When he is awake around 8am i then have a little cuddle and chat with him, then i chnage him and freshen him up and give him his 9am feed. Once he has had that i have got him into having a short nap after that, which he normally sleeps for about 40 mins- 1hr. It does involve me rocking the crib for a short while, which i know is not always good as they need to learn to sleep theirselves, is this true? As for the rest of the day he normally is downstairs with me, in his moses basket or on his activity mat or bouncer. I have tried at certain points of the day to take him upstairs to his crib to have a nap but is not successful.He cries after a short while and then becomes overtired and wingy!

I have ordered that book off the internet today so will have a good read when it arrives.What does the shh/pat consist of? How does it work? Can you advise how to get my LO into more of a fixed routine? He is always so active and alert, always kicking about wanting to play he fights sleep.

Can you suggest anything?

Thanks

[Becky1985]

Can you advise of any good swaddle techniques as i have no idea of how to do this, and want to ensure that i do this properly. Do you do it all the time? Will this help him to nap?
I was advised when in hospital that you shouldnt swaddle babies, is this true? In contradiction to this many of my family members used this technique when i was a baby and they said it really worked.

[anna*]

I don't know why hospitals would say not to swaddle, did they give you a reason? I don't know of any specific links but I'm sure a quick google search would find lots of tutorials for you, even video tutorials. You just need a big enough, lightweight blanket or sheet. At this age I would definitely swaddle for all naps and at bedtime.

Have a read of the links given above, they describe how to use shush-pat and how to start getting towards a routine for a really young baby.

[~Sara~]

Well, while you're waiting for the book to arrive, have you take some time and looked through the links that Anna and I posted?  There's a TON of great information there, and in the FAQs in general.  Plus, there's enough info on this website to give you an idea of

It does sound like getting him onto a scheduled routine will help him the most.  I don't mean to appear evasive, but I highly recommend reading through the links we posted first, get some ideas from that, and if you're left with questions, come back and we'll be here!    All of the links address an issue that you have brought up, and go into much greater detail.

To get started though on your end, you'll want to spend a couple of days just observing what, how, and when he does things.  Write everything down--seriously, everything.  Those EASY logs are great (have used them myself)!  Then after a couple of days, learning how he does things, what works for him/what doesn't, then you'll start putting him on EASY: Eating every 3 hours, some awake time, then sleep.  Again, some of the posts listed above show what other babies' routines look like.

HTH a bit to get you started!

[Becky1985]

THanks for all your advice, i had a look on the net get some tips on how to swaddle him up  and watched a few videos  ( im not to sure on why the hospital said that, as the night he was born the wrapped him up tightly so i am sure that was swaddling, maybe worried they'll over heat but surely its the comfort of it they like) anyway ive just swaddled him and done the shh/pat technique and he went straight to sleep, no rocking, no dummy, so ive taken note as to what time i put him down to make it a regular thing each day, but so far so good. I had to persivere with it, and did it 3 times then stayed in the room for 5 minutes then left. Checked him twice and is soundo! wonder how long he will sleep for? so far so good....

[~Sara~]

That's great progress so far!!  Congrats!  Will you keep us posted??

[Becky1985]

Well it worked for abit, he slept for half hour then woke! i tried standing up with him over my shoulder and patting his back but he just started really crying i perservered for abit ten minutes but he didnt calm down down. He was due a feed so fed him, and now he is so awake it almost seems impossible to get him back to sleep! constantly fighting sleep all the time. We attempted to swaddle him again after his feed, as he was showing signs of tiredness again, so we him took him upstairs where it was dark, and he just started  histerically crying! any suggestions?.... do i just perservere?

[linsysunshine]

If your having a hard time with the swaddle I'd recommend a swaddle sack. I don't think that's the right term but it's a kind of sack that does up with velcro. It's funny looking... kind of looks like baby's in a straight jscket. They can't get out of the swaddle. I use one now with my 3 month old and wish I had known about them when my toddler was small.

It seems to me that your LO needs more consistency. Babies like routine and from what you've written it sounds like sometimes LO eats when he wakes from a nap and sometimes it's right before going down for one. I think a good goal would be to try to feed him every 3 hours upon waking from a nap.

When my daughter was 6 weeks I also fought with her to go for naps. I found that I was misreading her sleep signals and letting her stay up too long. From the moment she'd open her eyes after a nap she'd have to go down for another one 45 minutes later. So after her feed and diaper change she'd be ready for another nap. It didn't feel like "awake time" at all but for a wee babe like that, a meal and change is epic.

Waking 45 minutes into a nap is not uncommon (in fact it seems to happen to just about all babies) and it doesn't mean that baby is finished napping (he should be napping for about 2 hours) but that he woke between sleep cycles. There are lots of threads on that too. It's all very frustrating and it seems like once you've figured out one thing another issue arises. The Baby Whisperer book will help you out a lot and so will this website. There are a lot of committed women reading posts and giving great advise.

My best advise to you is to be consistent with whatever you do and to try to establish a routine. My LO started sleeping much better at 6 weeks so hopefully time will be on your side.

[~Sara~]

I agree with linsysunshine on everything she said   Getting your LO on a structured routine will be the most beneficial thing you could do at this point because then everything else can be resolved from there.

I also recommend using a swaddle.  Our kiddo is a swaddle Houdini, so we've had to use the Kiddopotamus swaddlers.  Others use the Miracle Blanket.  They're harder to get out of than just a blanket.  You might want to look into those.

When you get the book, one of the first things that Tracy talks about is EASY (Eat. Activity. Sleep. You.  EASY is a structured routine that is repeated throughout the day.  It's set in place by you, but it's not an exact schedule because it it ultimately led by your baby.  It's a dance, as I've heard many moms refer to it as.  We, the parents, have to teach our LOs how to do many things once they enter this world, like how to go to sleep, etc.  There is a lot of ebb and flow with EASY, meaning that no two days are exactly the same; but the overall pattern is there, and babies thrive on predictability.  On EASY they learn a very healthy pattern: I wake up, I eat, I play a little bit, and then I rest.  We as adults to this, too...we've just consolidated our sleeping quite a bit and eat less frequently .

One of the best things about having your LO on EASY is that you become better at interpreting your baby's cries.  If it's only been 20 minutes since your LO ate, chances are your 6 week old is tired.  So, not only does it benefit you and help you understand what your LO is saying with his cries, but HE feels that his needs are understood and met.  It builds a very healthy foundation for the rest of your relationship

Okay...so enough waxing philosophical!  Did you have a chance to look at the sample EASY routines that Anna posted a link to?  Looking there, you can see that most 6 week olds are on a 3 hour EASY routine.  That means that the whole pattern repeats itself every 3 hours, except at night.

The typical 3h EASY looks something like this for a 6 week old, who can only stay awake about 1h15 at a time--that's one A time (most people view A as Awake instead of as Activity since it really is counted from eyes open to eyes shut.  It includes eating, activities, and wind down routine):

E: 7.00 wake up and feed
A: 7.30 or 7.45 (depending on how long feed takes)
S: 8.15
Y: your choice
E: 10.00
A: 10.30 or 10.45
S: 11.15 (1.5hr nap)
Y: your choice
E: 1.00
A: 1.30 or 1.45
S: 2.15 (1.5hr nap)
Y: your choice
E: 4.00 feed
S: 5.00 or 5.15 you'll give him a catnap (approx. 40mins) to get through the next feed and bath [Note: you could also let him sleep a bit longer, say, for 1 hour]
E: 6 (cluster feed at 6 and at bedtime until 8 weeks old, or if going through a growth spurt)
A: bath
E: a top-off
S: 7.00 bedtime
Y: the evening is yours
E: 10 or 11pm dreamfeed

If you let him have a 1 hour catnap, then from there, your night would look like this:

S: 5.00 or 5.15 catnap (approx. 40mins)
E: 6 or 6.15
A: bath
E: a top-off
S: 7.15 or 7.30 bedtime
Y: the evening is yours
E: 10 or 11pm dreamfeed

So, that's an average day, but DO NOT feel obligated to have your LO do exactly this!  Go by his cues first and foremost.  This is an approximation of the day.

I know you said that your LO yawns and then you put him to bed.  Without knowing what your routine looks like, I'd say that you're either putting him to bed too soon or too late.

I'm a bit hesitant to start unloading all these ideas and details on you, only because without having read the book, I'm afraid I might overwhelm you.  As I mentioned in a previous post, start writing everything down, look through some of the EASY FAQ threads (http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=82.0).  Keep doing the shh/pat--it might take him a while to get used to it!  Work on getting his feeding more regularly as well as his naps.  Have a consistent wind down in place, too.

Do you know how long it will take for you book to come in?  If it hasn't come in in a couple of days, let me know.  I'd be happy to work with you on starting EASY, as will many other mommies   Right now, it really is time for you to spend a couple of days writing things down and just observing.  Then, we can get to work!

How has the rest of the day gone so far?

[anna*]

Half hour naps are a pretty good sign that he's overtired. At six weeks he can probably manage no more than about 1hr to 1hr15 mins awake after a long (1.5hrs plus) nap, even less than that after a short nap. That's total awake time including feeding, changing, winding down. So pretty much at this age they need to spend nearly all their time sleeping.

If he's really fighting sleep and overdue for a nap, this is when I personally would use a sling or rock him to sleep. Once he has caught up on sleep, then you can start shush-pat again for his next nap. It is a lot to expect shush pat to work consistently for every sleep at this age, but you have already made great progress!

[~Sara~]

Hi Becky...just checking in on you.  How was yesterday/today?

[Becky1985]

Hi.

I havent been on for a couple of days so just read all the messages. Yesterday was a knightmare, he became so overtired, that he just wouldnt sleep. I have been swaddling him which i think is helping as he is not waking himself up as much kicking and throwing his arms about ( which he used to do). However He does sometimes still manage to get his arms out! Despite trying to get him donw for his morning nap yesterday he would not sleep, after rocking him in my arms and in his crib, he wouldnt sleep. I then took him into town a little later ( out in the car) to which he normally sleeps however yesterday he didnt!rHe became very fractious and cried alot. >:(give the mornings he normally wakes around 7:30am/8am to which i give him his feed, then he has finished i normally change his nappy and then try and get him down for another nap around 9am. The last couple of mornings though, it has been a  constant battle as he has been fighting sleep all the time! Any suggestions?....I am perseverring with it, and being consistent doing it every day but sometimes he sleeps sometimes he doesnt, if he doesnt he becomes frustrated and cries...

Ive never known a baby not to wanting to sleep!!!Why do babies not want to sleep?i am trying my hardest to help him and teach him... I have just ordered a sling as well to see if that helps, are they any good? I dont really believe in them as i think sometimes they can cause the baby to become more attached to you, and do not want to sleep when put down, but then couldnt i get him used to going to sleep then once asleep in the sling ( thats if he likes it) then put him donw in his crib so he isnt actually sleeping on me, would that work?

[anna*]

((((hugs)))) honey, I know it really is hard. It's not that he doesn't want to sleep - he doesn't know how to! I know it sounds crazy, but tiny babies really need to be taught how, and the more overtired they are the harder it is for them. You are doing great work to teach him.

At six weeks I would try to make sure that he is never awake for more about 1hr-1hr10mins max. So that means you need to be wrapping him up in his swaddle and starting to shush-pat when he has been awake only about 50 mins. If he had a short nap, that will need to be even shorter awake time, so literally just feed, change, and get ready to sleep.

Re the sling, it's a really good idea at this age for him to catch up on sleep. I would try to get him to sleep with shush-pat for at least one nap per day, but if it's a big struggle, he could have some of the rest of his naps in the sling. You don't want to come to rely on it, but at this age the most important thing is that he gets enough sleep, it doesn't matter so much how he falls asleep. When he is about 12-13 weeks old you can start again with shush-pat and he should start to find it easier.

I don't know where you are in the world but the Miracle Blanket (US) or Mothercare Swaddle Blanket (UK) is brilliant and keeps them really tightly wrapped. My LO was always huge for his age and very strong and it kept him swaddled til he was 4-5 months. The swaddle needs to be really tight, he shouldn't be able to move his arms at all, like a solid little log of baby.

[Becky1985]

Yeah thats what i thought at least that way then the sling will enable him to catch up on his sleep. Its so hard to get him to sleep though, once i feed him he normally looks very sleepy and i try so hard rocking, swaddling him and then putting him down to sleep, he then gets bored and frustraated and then cries, i then pick him up he still cries can take ages to soothe him.
I know they need sleep but im trying so hard to help him and encourage him to sleep i cant false him!!!
With the Shh/pat technique do you leave him on their side in the crib? If he starts crying what do i do... he gets vey frustrated once swaddled as he wants to move about, he then gets himself in a state crying...

He is good at night most of the time. Just during the day!!!

[anna*]

No no - with shush pat you pick him up. Shush pat him on your shoulder until he is totally calm and drowsy, then lie him down and continue to shush pat until he is in a deep sleep. If you lie him down and he starts to cry again, try to settle him with shush-pat in the cot but if that isn't working, pick up and shush pat on your shoulder again until he is totally calm and drowsy. I think the key is going to be to start shush pat early enough so that he can calm down before he gets overtired.

[Becky1985]

Well today i have been shh/patting him, until drowsy but ive had to shh quit loudly over his cries! is that correct, then when he is drowsy and calm eyes closed i put him down in his crib to sleep then 5 ten mns later he is waking up, then i am repeating it again and again, am i doing something wrong?

He just keeps waking up!!!

[anna*]

When you put him down, you need to keep shush-patting until he is in a deep sleep, this takes a good 15-20 mins. They have 'jolts' as they are falling asleep which wake them up when they are very tiny - so for now you need to keep shush-patting past those jolts.

[~Sara~]

*hugs* Becky. 

I don't have anything to add to Anna's brilliant advice, but I wanted to let you know that you ARE doing a wonderful job!  You're a great mom who wants to help her baby learn very valuable skills...if he has to sleep in a sling for a few naps to catch up on sleep, that's okay   Like Anna said, he's so young right now that even if you start really trying to sleep train after a couple more weeks, he should still pick it up pretty fast.