Author Topic: 11 month old wakes every hour or two at night and 20 min naps..Help...  (Read 4320 times)

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Offline sleeplessmommy

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Hi,
Im a desperate mommy who needs help and sleep. Night waking every hour, and 20 min naps!
How old is your child? 11 months
What’s his/her daily routine?
10am wakes initial feed
11:30 breakfast
1:00 20-30min Nap
1:30 Feed
2:30 Lunch
5:30 20-30min Nap
6:00 Feed
7:00 Dinner
9:30 Nightime Sleep
11:30 wakes and crys (nursed to sleep)
Wakes every hour to 2 hours and can only be nursed to sleep.

What’s nap routine?
Every nap has a routine – lullaby music, short book, cuddle, put down awake for sleep, shushed and patted

How long are naps? 20 to 30min
What's bedtime routine? Time?
Bath, music, book, night feed, put to bed awake, patted and shushed.
Time varies between 9pm to 10pm depending on previous nap, I’ve tried 8pm but won’t work .

Do you bottle or breastfed?? Exlusively breastfed
How much? or how long? Breasfed length on demand
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) One side is usually more than enough, sometimes will offer other but usually doesn’t take.
How many wakes per night? 5 to 6
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
Wakes
up crying and is only comforted by feeding, sometimes can be patted down but wakes up after ten minutes or so.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
Crying excessively, especially if I walk away after patting then its wailing cry.
What have you tried to settle??
Tried giving bottle, pacifier, shush pat, walking away in length intervals, lovey (stuffed bear, my t-shirt, blanket), co-sleeping, sleeping in his room on the floor….

What do you do for A time and how long is it?
I’ve pulled all nighters and he’ll just wail for hours on all those above and if he tires himself out hill nap for 2 minutes and start all over again.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
This has been going on since he was about 4 months old. So currently he’s not doing anything new.
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) Lots of food, he’s a really chubby baby.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? Nope, tried and rejected.
Do they have a lovie? No, still introducing
When he was 6 months old, I did the Ferber method of crying out, he cried for about 20 min one night and slept through the night and took 2 hour naps.
Then we went out of town for a month, he got sick and the same thing happened. Now he’s well but…..7 months to now he’s not sleeping. He’s always tired after his naps, rubbing his eyes, cranky, crying.  But I can’t get him to sleep. If co-sleeping worked I would even give into that, but it doesn’t.  I’ve read everything on the internet, asked the doctor…no ansewers…help.

Offline sleeplessmommy

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I have alternated, I usually turn on the music, read a quick book, and feed him and then put him in his crib shh pat a little  and walk out. Keep walking in and out, with quick shh pats, and when he gets really hysterical I stay and ssh pat him until he falls asleep. I have also tried to arrange it, so I don't feed him before and feed him after he gets up...doesn't work either. Also he falls asleep when we are driving the car seat, and sleeps for about 30 min if we keep driving, but as soon as we transfer him to the crib he wakes up after 5 mins. Have I become a prop...my husband is out of town 5 days out of 7. So I'm the only one who can put him to sleep....

Offline sleeplessmommy

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I usually sometimes wait until he's starts rubbing his eyes or yawning for his naps, so maybe I'll try extending his first A time to 4 hours instead. And I have been trying to feed him after his naps, but I do feed him before his night time sleep, so he'll be full for the night.
So since Friday, I stopped feeding him at night, and put up black outs. He slept ok for the first two nights, settling after 15 -20 min of shh patting. His naps he did one 1 hour and one 1 hour 15min. I was so excited it felt like I had hours to do stuff. But....
The third night he cried all night and only slept a total of 2-3 hours of on off sleep. Naps went back to 15-20 min, and he's been doing that for the last 3 nights!. So he hasn't gotten any sleep at all. Last night before during his night routine, when I was breastfeeding he would not come off, he arched his back and was fighting me if I tried pulling him off or even switching sides. Finally when I tried to put him the crib he did the same thing!! Then he cried for 5 hours straight with me even shh patting and staying his room.
What do I do? He's not sleeping and neither am I. I feel ill from no sleep.....

Offline bhanu

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Hi.. I had quite a similar problem like yours, most of it is solved now, stopped breastfeeding/out of mom's bed, sleeping in his own crib/own room now, but still NW every 2-3 hrs.

What I would recommend is go step by step...are you trying to wean him from breastfeeding??? How is he eating solids??

I can share my experience...At around 8.5 months DS had reduced his daytime breastfeeding...coz he was more busy playing but having said that he started waking more often at night n needed to BF to go back to sleep every hr or so..I wanted to wean him before I go back to work when he turns one. I kept trying to introduce some formula in a cup everyday, he will have a sip or two initially, and then about 2-3 ounces. But I did this consistently.Also I tried to introduce solids at all 3 meals. He used to cosleep at that time n hated his crib, n when he woke up inorder to put him back quickly without much cry so that DH doesnt get disturbed, used to BF him n he will go back to sleep in 5 min. Then one day when he turned 10 months, I took him to sleep in a separaete room so that DH doesnt get disturbed, I put him to sleep rocking, patting n not BF tos leep. He slept, n when he woke up at night I did the same thing, but did not BF to sleep. Thankfully first night was not as bad as expected, next day gave him formula in a cup as usual and BF one time a day. Was a lil cranky n 2nd night was harder, but after 3 nights he was fine, we were back in our room. He had stopped BF completely, n hence started drinking more from the cup as well.

Next step was to teach him to sleep on his own, coz now I was rocking him to sleep n when he woke up at night I had to pick him n rock him. First I put a lil bed in my own room for him, followed bedtime rotine rocked him to sleep n put him down by 7.30pm. He would NW again 1-2 hr repeat same thing.
Also he used to nap for 20-30 min, butas I put him to a routine, rather tahn just put to for nap when cranky that got better slowly. Not the best now but NAPs atleast 1 hr (at times 1.5hrs) twice.
Next step was to put him in his crib in his room,, fisrt night took him 70 min to settle down. Hew ould stand as soon

Offline bhanu

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He would stand as soon as I laid him, continuously kept laying him back, now he is preety good with nap times goes down in about 5 min, still takes time for bedtime may be 20-30 min at times. The struggle is NW still every 1-2 hrs, at time even every 20min for abot hr and a half. When he wakes he sits up n starts crying. I have to go in lay him /pat n most of the times he will go back to sleep right away, but ya he needs my presence to go to sleep, so still working on that.

Do let me know if you have any specific questions and if I can be of any help??

Offline sleeplessmommy

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I don't know if I can keep doing this. I have slept in his room on the floor for the past 6 nights, so I can pat him down and show him I'm there, because he too starts screaming as soon as I leave the room, even after he's drowsy and I "think" he's asleep. But the last few nights the patting and shhing isn't working, last night he cried from midnight to 6am!, I even put him in my bed and patted him next to me, nothing. But now it seems he's scared to go in his room, today he started screaming and arching is back when I entered his room to start his sleep routine and last night when I was bf him he would not let go, even when he'd slow down or almost fell asleep (I usually don't let him fall asleep bfing), and now when I rocked him to make him drowsy so I could put him down in his crib he was clinging to me for dear life!
He's a pretty good solids eater (all three meals and 1-2 snacks) and I try and Bf often in the day. I'm going back to work in a month, so I'm gona start giving him formula, maybe that will help. As for schedule, if he sleeps in, in the morning I let him because he's definately not getting enough sleep, then I try to keep his wake intervals the same.

Thanks for your thoughts, it helps to know there are others with the same problem. Let me know if you have any progress.


Offline jess, lukeys_mom

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Hi and big hugs to you! It sounds like you're having a really hard time and are very tired!

You are already getting very good advice but I will add a few things that popped out at me when first reading your post:

1. Do you have a DH/DP who can support you with sleep training?  Especially when BF is the prop needed to go back to sleep, I think it is hard when it is the mom who is doing the middle of the night. I think of it like holding a beer in front of an adult who is just stopping drinking...too tempting. With DH, lo knows he can't get BF so at least does not keep trying.

2. I think your whole routine probably needs to be pushed back quite a bit. LOs tend to wake most naturally between 6 and 8 am, leaving bedtimes between 6 and 8pm. I think the late wake up and bedtimes may be fighting his natural rhythms, if that makes sense?
-- Have you read any of the Baby Whisperer books?

3. To get his routine at better times, you will probably have to start by controlling the morning wake up times.  I would aim for 7am, but start slowly (i.e don't go directly to a 7am wake up if normal is 10am, start instead with 9, then 8/8.30 etc till you get to 7, then wake up at the same time every day following that.

4. I would try for the first nap of the day earlier, such as 3 hours after he wakes, or even 2.5 for now until he is less overtired.

5. You have said you've tried everything. I think the most important next thing to try is consistency. It is SO HARD to do this when you're tired, so I'm sending you all the good vibes and strength I can muster, and hope that you can also get some support at home.  If you have stopped the night feeds, stick to this please, 7am-7pm no feeds, hopefully dh or dp can help. Have you looked into the Gradual Withdrawal method? I think that might be your best bet.  Here is a link: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE) (note: I would NOT recommend taking the other route and doing Walk In/Walk Out with your ds. It sounds easier and faster, but in his case I think it would be a lot tougher on you both). No matter what method you choose: Stick With It!

6. Are you still introducing a lovey? What are you doing to get him to take it? I'd recommend really continuing this, especially if you're weaning him off BF at night. He is probably used to sucking and snuggling to get to sleep and a lovie should help (he'll probably reject at first, it'll never be as great as mom and a mouthful of breast milk, but eventually he will probably accept). Does he have a dummy.

Hope this helps :-*

(PS. I will check on you later tonight in case you post, otherwise as an fyi, I am offline this weekend and will be back next week ;))
Mom to Luke (2007) and Dylan (2009)

Offline sleeplessmommy

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Thank you for all your support. All the ideas are giving hope!

1. My husband is usually out of town, but he is here this week, so he's gona try the night shifts and see if he can get him back to sleep. Last night he was good, but work up at 5am and just screamed for an hour my husband couldn't get him back to sleep or comfort him. So I gave it a shot, same thing. The only thing that calmed him was feeding him....(I know but he was crying so bad!)...... so tonite we will try not to give in.

2. I will try and push it back, since I will be starting work soon, but I won't get home from work till 6pm, so if I push him much earlier than 8, I won't have time with him. Since birth we've pretty much been putting him out for the night at about 9pm, so I will try to move it back.-- Have you read any of the Baby Whisperer books? No I havent'...I don't have much time to read....with only 20 min naps and waking every couple of hours, but I will go grab it to give it a skim, since everyone who's read it seem to have a real grasp on this baby stuff!


4. I would try for the first nap of the day earlier, such as 3 hours after he wakes, or even 2.5 for now until he is less overtired. ==== So if he rubs his eyes after 1 hour of being awake, should I just ignore that, cause someone told be to extend his A time so he sleeps longer?


6. Yes I keep giving him this cuddly bear and his blanket, hasn't taken to either. He won't take a soother, I've been trying since birth. So I will keep trying with the bear.

Thanks again for all your help.
He's actually just had a 90 min nap! But its his first one, we'll see how it goes!

Offline sleeplessmommy

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Okay...nothing seems to work. Its been over two weeks of me not breastfeeding him at night and still he is waking and crying where nothing seems to comfort him. Naps are still 20 mins two times a day. I've shh patted him till I feel like i'm going to pass out.
I've extended his A time to 3 hours, sometimes even 31/2 hours, even though he's yawning and rubbing his eyes, it takes me 40 minutes to get him to sleep, with alot of crying. I just follow a routine and put him down in his crib and shhh pat him...
He still hasn't taken to any comfort object.
The last two days I couldn't stay up, I felt ill so I just fed him at 5 am and he woke up again 1hour later!
I think he is getting his molars in, but even when he wasn't he was the same.
He also has terrible gas, I don't know what I can do about that.
I am soooo exausted....

Offline jess, lukeys_mom

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Hi there! Hugs and sorry it has taken a while to get back to you!
I did ask Jane (Jay3) who originally suggested that you try to extend his A time, to see what she thought. We both agreed that at this point your lo is probably quite OT and maybe it's a good idea to let him take his first nap much earlier in the morning when he starts rubbing his eyes and yawning.  Maybe he really needs to catch up on some sleep?

When he has been waking early in the am, like 6am the last 2 days, do you put him in bed early or is it still 8pm? I think the early bedtime on these days will go a long way to helping him get caught up. I know there is an unfortunate sacrifice of time together but hopefully it will be a short time and then you can start getting his routine back to 'normal.'

Since he is likely teething as you said, have you been giving pain meds?
Mom to Luke (2007) and Dylan (2009)

Offline sleeplessmommy

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I usually let him have about 3 hours of A time, after he wakes up...so he varies depending on when he wakes up in the morning. Since he's not getting enough sleep I let him sleep whenever he does.
Its so hard to get him to sleep, there are days I have tried to put him to sleep as soon as he's yawns or rubs his eyes and he usually starts screaming as soon as he realizes his bedtime routine has started...and he fights me putting him down by arching his back or even intially rocking him to make him drowsy...
Yes I've given him Tylenol and gripe water, but on the times I have it doesn't make any sort of difference in his sleep pattern, it doesn't even make him drowsy!
I feel he he isn't growing because he isn't getting enough sleep.
I'm going to start the early bedtime, but usually he thinks its a nap (20min) and he wakes and he's almost impossible to comfort him back to sleep because he gets so upset if you try and pat him down. How do I put him back to sleep after his short nap.?
Thanks for your guys help....it means so much :)