Author Topic: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!  (Read 6758 times)

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Offline Tao

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2010, 00:30:47 AM »
Thanks Liana and Katie for the bumps and hugs =). You two are too sweet!

Today has become a no nap day as well. After the first failed nap, we tried putting her down again an hour later and DH tried GW just to see what would happen. GW worked when she was younger, closer to 9 months but the last time we tried at a year she was just playing peek a boo with dad. DH stayed with her for close to an hour and she didn't really cry which was nice but the last half an hour she sang songs to him and talked to him. I think she is too old for GW now.

You have all helped me realize that I just need to pick a "rule" and stick with it. We have always stuck with WIWO but the difference is that some days I would leave her crying for an hour and a half and some days we would get her out of bed after just 30 minutes. Her nap times are all over the place because I was so confused with what time to put her down.

I think DH and are going to try to stay consistent tomorrow. We have decided to put her down tomorrow after maybe 4.5 hours of A unless she shows early signs of sleepiness. Then, we will just do WIWO if she is really screaming but we will just leave her to try to sleep so she gets the message that she must nap, that daddy and mommy are there for her but she must nap. I'm hoping eventually she will tire out and just go down and this may end up being the only nap she will take because I'm sure it will take a long time. The reason I think we have to take this path is because when we pick her up after trying, we try again an hour later but it goes back to the same thing and we go in a cycle of putting her down, doing WIWO, having her fight it, pick her up after 45 minutes, try again and it is a cycle...

I'm hoping she will eventually get the message that it's nap time and there's no getting around it. I don't know that it's teething because she's not fussy at all during awake time. She is drooling a bit but she doesn't seem upset. Also ,today just to see, I gave her tylenol before second nap and it didn't make a difference in her behavior...

I don't know that this is the answer, but I know that like you have all greatly suggested, I need to be consistent and she needs to get a message. Otherwise this chaos of different nap times, getting picked up after she refuses the nap long enough seems like it will be neverending and the OTness will just continue to grow...

I don't want her to "get used to" no nap days.
Christine

Offline Tao

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2010, 00:33:36 AM »
Wendy-thank you so much for taking the time to help me. This isn't the first time that you have been so giving of your time to me.

Sharon-I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the same bought with Marlow. I wonder if this is indicative of our LO's being ready for 1 nap?! There's obviously something going on for the nap refusal to be SO drastic don't you think?
Christine

Offline All4Finn

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2010, 00:45:18 AM »
HI there Christine, for sure she needs some good day sleep now.  No nap days can't go on forever :-) even with good nights.  If you guys aren't keen on the GW method then she'll sense it and it won't work.  If you can stick with WI/WO and stay consistent it will work.  You can even just sit outside her room and tell her your key phrase or tell her to go to sleep now.  She will know you are there.

You're doing a great job :-) 
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Online katie80

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2010, 01:28:24 AM »
You're doing a great job :-) 

Yes, you are, Christine!!!  I know it's so tough, but stay consistent and she'll get it!!!



Offline Tao

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2010, 01:32:08 AM »
Wendy--I just wanted to run WIWO by you real quick to make sure that I am doing it correctly, if you don't mind. Currently, after I put her down, if she is upset, I say the sleepy phrase once and walk out. I then start counting, because she is usually screaming at this point. My rule of thumb has been to count to 20 and it's worked fabulously the first time we did it for BT's, but we've never really had to do it with naps. As of late, I really don't get to 20 before she calms down and the cry drops into a whine, or even by 10 for that matter. It's usually scream scream, whine...stop and it repeats over and over again so at times I never even end up going in. I feel guilty sometimes for not going in but if she's not hysterical consistently, I don't need to go in right? I think I will also do it to where i don't physically go in and just say it at the door because she seems to get more upset when i physically walk out, she will start shaking the crib railing and jump up and down. Does this sound right?
Christine

Offline alohahellokitty

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #20 on: June 30, 2010, 01:36:44 AM »
You are doing sooooooooooooo great Christine!!!!!!!! This is sooooooooooo hard!!!!!! I remember with Anna-Li!!!! We are all here for you!! You can do it!! She's going to adjust I promise!!!!!
Liana
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Online katie80

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #21 on: June 30, 2010, 03:06:17 AM »
I think I will also do it to where i don't physically go in and just say it at the door because she seems to get more upset when i physically walk out, she will start shaking the crib railing and jump up and down. Does this sound right?

I think this sounds really good, Christine.  Especially if you are still a little worried about SA, this will let her know you're there, but won't be as intrusive as walking out or the game playing of GW.



Offline marlowsmom

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #22 on: June 30, 2010, 03:18:55 AM »
WI/WO only upsets Marlow.   Much like Sophie, when she sees me leave she falls apart.    Even poking my head in upsets her to no end.   

You're doing a great job and you can always cry on my shoulder!

Offline All4Finn

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #23 on: June 30, 2010, 11:50:05 AM »
Hi there Christine, I would make it really easy on yourself and stop counting.  Really at this stage you know her distress cry from her angry I-want-company cry.  If she's not in distress you don't go in - listen to and respond to her cries only.  If she's stop and start you don't go in.  Mantra crying you don't go in.  Reassure her from the door if you need to.  You only go in and reassure her when she's escalating in distress.  At this age, you need to really repeat to yourself that she wants you rather than needs you and be firm with her, pleasant but firm.

Quote (selected)
WI/WO Method

Follow your bedtime routine being certain that your child has sufficiently wound down from the day.  When wind down is completed, lay your child down, tuck them in and use a phrase they can associate with it's sleep time such as "time to go night-night you can find your blankie/pacifier/suck your thumb/etc. to help you fall asleep."  Leave the room.  Stand outside of your child's door and assess the situation.  It's important to distinguish between different types of cries and identify when your child is truly upset and when they may be settling themselves.  Remain outside the room if your child is making fussy-type cries or noises.  If crying is starting then stopping, hang back and wait.  If crying escalates go in to resettle your child.  Repeat your phrase "time to go night-night you can find your blankie/pacifier/suck your thumb/etc. to help you fall asleep" and leave again.  Comforting should be brief and you should avoid picking up your child.

Upon leaving the room again, wait outside the door and reassess the situation.  The amount of time you wait is determined by how your child is reacting inside.  The key is to hang back enough to give your child space to fall asleep independently, but to respond to truly upset cries.
The tweaking never stops!

Online katie80

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #24 on: June 30, 2010, 18:10:45 PM »
How is it going today, Christine?



Offline alohahellokitty

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #25 on: June 30, 2010, 18:23:47 PM »
lots and lots of sleepy vibes for Sophie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Liana
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Offline Tao

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #26 on: June 30, 2010, 18:34:56 PM »
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! She went down in 10 MINUTES!!!!!!! I am so happy I want to cry right now and give you all great big hugs!

I was so prepared mentally to fight this long battle with her, this long 2 hour battle and I was determined to win. I even prayed as I went to put her down--I know. So i totally totally upped her A time this morning. It was a risk but she wasn't showing sleepy signs for forever so I just waited and waited. Here's what her day looked like:

445 Woke but went back down until 5:30 (Thank Goodness!!!)
1025 (I put her in bed at 10:15 so this was 4:45 A, so you were right Wendy, she DID have a huge A time jump)

The other thing I did differently was that I took her to the park this a.m and let her get out some of her spirited energy. My friend made me realize that I keep Sophie at home too much because it's really really hot here so I refrain from taking her outside but we just decided to go super early. I let her walk and walk and walk and play in the sand and walk on the play structure. I think that helped to tire her out because remember she usually stands in the corner with ridiculous amounts of stamina for FOREVER!

So, I'm NOT going to wake her after a short nap. I am just going to try to let her sleep and hopefully she has a long nap then shoot for an early BT. Hopefully, as she gets older and develops more A I can just push the one nap a bit later each day thereby pushing BT later so she can have a later wake.

The other thing is that I kind of let her moan cry this a.m. when she initially woke at 445 in hopes that she would go back and she did. Perhaps before I was just getting her up too early. If she's just whining and crying, I just let here try to resettle.

I know that the battle is not over yet and I will still prepare mentally tomorrow for a possible WIWO battle, but knowing this A time helps and having this ONE victory has made a WORLD of difference.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart (with tears)...

Christine

Offline Tao

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #27 on: June 30, 2010, 18:37:53 PM »
I should mention that she did try to fight it within those 10 minutes, she DID still try to stand and scream but I think that being so tired really helped.
Christine

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #28 on: June 30, 2010, 18:50:47 PM »
Yay, yay, yay!!!  So happy for you, Christine!!!   ;D ;D 

I bet it was partly the A time, but also partly your determination that got her down.  I know they can feel it!!

So, I'm NOT going to wake her after a short nap. I am just going to try to let her sleep and hopefully she has a long nap then shoot for an early BT.


This is a really good plan!

The other thing is that I kind of let her moan cry this a.m. when she initially woke at 445 in hopes that she would go back and she did. Perhaps before I was just getting her up too early. If she's just whining and crying, I just let here try to resettle.

This is important too!  I know a lot of moms on here have certain times that they will not go get a LO out before.  For me, it's usually 6:30 am, but when DD's teething and shouting the house down, it's 6 am, however we don't do breakfast or anything til 6:30.  I would continue to leave her and hopefully she'll even start sleeping later. 



Offline alohahellokitty

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Re: 14 month old refusing ALL naps + OT....HELP!
« Reply #29 on: June 30, 2010, 19:23:33 PM »
Oh we are sooooooooooooo thrilled for you!!!! Its going to go great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes no one gets out of bed in this house until 6:30am (unless teething or ill as Katie said). So Anna-Li self entertains if she doesn't just fall back asleep. :) :)

I'm soooooooooooo happy for you!!!!!!!!! Its a new day and its going to be great! :) :) :)
Liana
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Jace Michael 1/15/1010 Textbook/Angel