Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2

[ZacsMumme]

yes we are the same re the eating... and I want to make sure that as he gets older he does learn no, but totally realize he is too young now to really understand. I have been trying to change my tone too, so it is slightly deeper and firmer and explain why.

Well put I need to tell myself this more often I think!

know he doesn't understand what I'm saying yet but I figure if I explain why I'm saying no, as he gets older he will eventually come to understand, and if at that point he still repeats the behaviour then I can be more firm with him.

[charmie]

DS (2 months old) won't sleep in the stroller at the supermarket.  His eyes stay wide open!  Is that a part of being touchy?  I'll cover the stroller to remove stimulation next time.

[MommaBrooke]

We always had to cover the stroller if we wanted DD to get a nap in it.  She was just so observant, she wanted to look at everything!

[tigerlilly905]

DS (2 months old) won't sleep in the stroller at the supermarket.  His eyes stay wide open!  Is that a part of being touchy?  I'll cover the stroller to remove stimulation next time.

YUP!! Happend to Ds1 ALL The time.  Do you have a baby carrier/sling? I used to always baby wear at the grocery store.  Works wonders  

Also, someone asked about older Touchies and tandrums a few pages back I believe.  They still do get meltdowns as they get into toddler years I'm afraid.  I've found that distraction is still the best form of dealing with them right now.  Have you read the book "Positive Discipline - the first three years"?  You can find it under companion methods here on the forum.  A lot of the info in it is common sense, but it does help for sure.  

So I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.  He ALWAYS wants to be held (and LOVES babywearing)... Is very particular... only wants to be with Mommy really. Ds1 was the same way.  

ETA:  Here's the link with companion methods http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=110898.0   Here's the link to that book I mentioned http://www.amazon.ca/Positive-Discipline-Toddler-Laying-Foundation-Confident/dp/0307341593/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306351518&sr=8-1

[ZacsMumme]

Totally! Make that stroller dim You may also find that around 3 months your DS starts not liking the stroller. Our DS started to really dislike it around 3 months...I think his touchiness and reflux combined made him frustrated and uncomfortable in it. (probably not but just a warning in case!!) If he does I have lots of tips to get  him used to it again   

DS (2 months old) won't sleep in the stroller at the supermarket.  His eyes stay wide open!  Is that a part of being touchy?  I'll cover the stroller to remove stimulation next time.

YUP!! Happend to Ds1 ALL The time.  Do you have a baby carrier/sling? I used to always baby wear at the grocery store.  Works wonders  

Also, someone asked about older Touchies and tandrums a few pages back I believe.  They still do get meltdowns as they get into toddler years I'm afraid.  I've found that distraction is still the best form of dealing with them right now.  Have you read the book "Positive Discipline - the first three years"?  You can find it under companion methods here on the forum.  A lot of the info in it is common sense, but it does help for sure. 

So I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.  He ALWAYS wants to be held (and LOVES babywearing)... Is very particular... only wants to be with Mommy really. Ds1 was the same way. 

ETA:  Here's the link with companion methods http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=110898.0   Here's the link to that book I mentioned http://www.amazon.ca/Positive-Discipline-Toddler-Laying-Foundation-Confident/dp/0307341593/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306351518&sr=8-1

Thanks tigerlilly - I was asking I will see if I can fish out that book in the library. We have Growing Great Boys and Raising boys - these are fantastic, but not so much about discipline as a main focus.

[tigerlilly905]

N/P Yes, I've read Raising Boys as well.. excellent read!

[MommaBrooke]

So I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.

It exists!  And it's quite the challenge! 

P.S. I love your new family pic Rebecca

[tigerlilly905]

Quote from: tigerlilly905 on Today at 03:22:56 PMSo I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.It exists!  And it's quite the challenge!  P.S. I love your new family pic Rebecca

Thank you! We got a bunch from our nb photoshoot not too long ago. 

I hear you on it being challenging! I thought one touchy boy and one spirited boy was going to be hard LOL...  But having Ds1 as touchy at least I know somewhat how to tackle those issues with Ds2.. it's the spirited side that's throwing me off right now!

[ZacsMumme]

Sorry ladies..didnt mean to quote tigerlillys entire thread..I seem to have issues selecting part of a thread to quote   - Meant to just include the bit about the book

[ZacsMumme]

So, my DS has started to behave more and more spirited as he has grown - and dare I say it - as his reflux and OT subsided. He is definitely still touchy, but seems to be spirited during his A time esp at home, and going down for naps.  I re read through the baby type quiz and he is definately more spritied than I thought...or maybe its just emerging as the touchiness starts to subside?

Anyone else in this strange little boat with me??

[tigerlilly905]

Anyone else in this strange little boat with me??

 I don't know if it's the same thing, but I have found as Ds1's confidence has grown, he has become much more outgoing/energetic/"spirited" in places he is comfortable in.  Like you say, at home he's like a different person... but when he's around new people/places I still see his touchy side big time until he gets comfortable.  I think it's a natural progression as they get older and as they become more confident in the world.  By "nurturing their nature" you can teach a touchy baby to come out of their shell and embrace the world, kwim? 

For example, we started taking Ds1 to a library reading group for babies/toddlers when he was around 10 months old (and the group FINALLY didn't interfere with nap times!   ) We read books, sing songs ect.  At first he was SO shy.  Would only sit on my lap and watch... would *maybe* crack a smile when he saw a picture of an animal, but could quickly meltdown if the song we were singing was too loud or made a noise that scared him.  He usually cried at least once every time we went for the first month.  But we kept going.. week after week. And every week I saw very small improvements.  Now, he's like a COMPLETELY different person there.  He interacts with the other children... he's up, dancing, "singing", socializing with everyone, being silly and very involved.  Even the woman who runs the program comments on how much he's developed since starting there.  I've been able to see this fun, outgoing side in him for a long time - when he's at home, with people he's comfortable with.  But like I said, it's taken a long time to get there.  Like Tracy says, temperament is not a life sentence.  And I do believe it can evolve with confidence and proper guidence from loving parents.

Personally I think you're on the right track with Zac.  Also, as they get older, you will find some nap resistance, as they are becoming more interactive and involved in what they are doing.  Even though they are getting tired, they want to keep playing and they don't want the fun to stop.  I think this is why routine/rituals are so important... and sticking with a wind down of sorts even as they get older.

Even now with Ds1 (who's 14 months) we still do a little wind down for nap.  We put on the white noise machine (still..), put on his sleep sack blanket, sing a song ect.  I find with this we encounter less resistance for naps/bed time...

Hope that helps!

[Kta400]

ZacsMumme,
My DS has gotten so much better at riding in the car and in the stroller but he still gets fussy after 10 minutes or so in the stroller. I currently cover the stroller with a light blanket and try to get him to take his paci. I saw that you had a lot of tricks to help with this.... could you share?
Thanks!

[Ima shel Alon]

Funny enough, I have experienced the touchy - spirited the other way around
When my LO was born he was such a clear spirited baby, there was no doubt about that. It was only when he grew a bit older, around two months that he showed signs of touchiness. Perhaps I didn't notice them before
He never minded people, noises, smells as he was tiny, and now he also doesn't mind people but it all has to be really slow. they can't be at his face, can't wiggle things in front of him, he then has a melt down.
So yeah, this combination definitely exists.

[tigerlilly905]

Funny enough, I have experienced the touchy - spirited the other way around When my LO was born he was such a clear spirited baby, there was no doubt about that. It was only when he grew a bit older, around two months that he showed signs of touchiness. Perhaps I didn't notice them before

Funny you should say this.  I found myself retaking the know your baby quiz  and I'm finding Arthur to now be more Touchy/Spirited...   But you know what, Ds1 was the same.  At first he was COMPLETELY textbook.. and it wasn't until about 8 weeks that his touchy side REALLY came through until he was majority Touchy with a bit of textbook.  So who knows... but either way, I'm pretty much certain now Arthur has a lot more touchy in him then I first thought!

[ZacsMumme]

thanks tigerlilly I make sure we always do consistent wind down, though for naps DS is usually ready or not and when he is ready he is out in 5 mins, but still wants to party for the first few...when he is not he resists like mad.
Funny re noise machine. We have white noise and I am sure we will have it for a long time too

 

and it wasn't until about 8 weeks that his touchy side REALLY came through

- This was the same with us, the touchiness emerged after about 6-7 weeks.

Kta400 here are my tips (actually some other lovely lady from BW helped me out with this when my DS was hating the stroller around 4 months. I cant  find the old thread though.
SO...first I stopped trying to get him to go in it when he was tired, but when he was wide awake and happy.
I made the buggy seat really upright as far as it could go so he was sitting and could see out.
I put the bar on and attached a few toys, nothing OS i.e. a teether and a small pull vibrating toy. I also put his restraint on loosely so he could lean forward and not feel trapped.

I made sure that my walks were VERY short to start with, and I went with someone else ie DH or my mum so I could always peek around to reassure DS if he got whingy. I also think it helped if I was talking to someone else as we moved and I dont put the covers on at the moment as he likes to see out and not feel 'covered up'

I also took the buggy in to the house and put him in it not moving in the lounge like a seat with a toy so he got used to 'being' in the buggy. Another thing you could try is put him in it when you hang out the washing for example.

I tried to get him out of the buggy before he packed it in if possible and took the front pack as an alt if we were out and he was 'over it'

Basically I was trying to remove the negative association with it and get him used to being in it.

In the last 2 months he has come SO FAR! He will 'hang out' in his buggy for up to 40 mins. Though he doesn't like being stuck in it when it is not moving. Hopefully some of these tips help...really i think part of it is he is growing up a little.