Author Topic: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2  (Read 129653 times)

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Offline clairebear79

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #30 on: April 20, 2011, 11:20:10 am »
Jakobsmom & ZacsMumme - I too have issues with naps - I have to be so careful to watch him like a hawk or if I miss the window all hell breaks loose.  We are in OT territory at the moment, he is screaming, arching, rolling whenever I try & set him down for a nap.  He is also difficult to keep occupied & needs a lot of attention.  He is also overwhelmed by new situations & doesn't like other people (cries when anyone else holds him) so its very difficult to get a break or have grandparents etc look after him.

DS is 8 months old today & touchy with reflux/possible MPI.  We are trialling dairy free atm to see if it makes any difference.  Its taken so long to get to this because I listened to other people saying he's just a demanding & whingey baby & thought it was my parenting skills that were inadequate.

Jen - until the last week we have actually rarely had troubles with BT - he's always been so so tired for bed he's gone down like a dream.  Do you have a consistent winddown routine? We do wash/bath, read a book, bottle, bed drowsy but awake & then we switch on his musical lightshow - it plays lullabies & nature sounds & has a projector & a moving lightshow, and we find that this really helps DS to know what is coming.  We run it for 15 mins and he's usually asleep by the end of it.

Offline jakobsmom

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #31 on: April 20, 2011, 11:40:40 am »
Thankfully with my DS bedtime is usually not the issue....mind you he doesn't always settle right away but usually within 15-20 minutes he does.  Naps are a different issue, I cannot for the life of me get him to sleep longer than 45 minutes when in his crib.  I live on a horse farm and tend to do chores in the afternoon....so he takes a lovely 2.5-3 hour nap in the stroller in the barn.  I don't know if it is the fresh air or what because once he is asleep he is stationary, and if I complete my chores before he wakes up I can bring him into the house (still in stroller) and he will continue to sleep.  So frustrating, but at this point in time I am just happy that he is getting a decent nap.  He still wakes up during the night, he gets fed at around 1030-11 (he wakes himself) then on a good night sleeps until 330-400.  Then back asleep hopefully until 7.  We had a problem with getting DS to sleep until he was around 3 months, until we had him on the correct medication (omeprazole) and he was switched to a hypoallergenic formula due to suspected MPI.  He is such a lovely boy happy as a clam at home (until he gets overtired) but his tolerance for the 'public' world is very slim.  If I take him out shopping etc. it has to be after a nap and I can usually only hit one store...two is just too much.  I always dread having to take him out though, he hates his car seat and cries bloody murder when he is in it...it can take 15-20 minutes for him to settle and I know that it is not his reflux bothering him because there are several occasions where he immediately falls asleep and even after a big crying episode will sleep for up to 1.5 hours in the seat.  Before his meds were adjusted he NEVER fell asleep in the car seat.  I really think that it is a case of bordem and the fact that he can't see anyone.  I took him over to my parent's house on the weekend so that I could go and run some errands and my brother was over.  He hadn't seen him in a while and I felt absolutely horrible because my DS just SCREAMED at him, even though we took things nice and slow.  He then proceeded to do the same thing to my dad.  He is ok with my mom though because he sees her quite regularly.  Sometimes when Jakob wakes up it seems like he just decides to SCREAM until you get there, but over the past few weeks I have heard him wake up and chat away to himself for 10-15  minutes.  This is great, I had to tell my husband to just leave him because we are so used to having to respond quickly as all out screaming would generally occur within 5-10 minutes.  I think that putting my DS on EASY (we only started this at about 15 weeks) and having a set 730 bedtime has really helped all of us out a lot, but the naps remain a struggle.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated.  I get so jealous when I talk to other moms, especially a friend of mine whose DS has been sleeping through the night since 3 months (mind you he has a much later bedtime) and naps a solid 3-3.5 hours every afternoon!






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Offline jakobsmom

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #32 on: April 20, 2011, 12:39:50 pm »
Jen - our babies are very close in age - my DS was born December 11th.






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Offline MommaBrooke

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #33 on: April 20, 2011, 14:12:32 pm »
Hang in there ladies!  My LO is getting much better with going out in public now that she's getting older so I PROMISE it will get easier.  DH and I started taking her out once a day on weekends to a store or other new place (usually to visit our parents or siblings) when she was about 5 months old.  We started with weekends so that DH could be there to help out if she got sick of her stroller and needed to be carried :)  The naps will get better too, I found that 45 min naps meant she needed longer A time, and because she had reflux I had to introduce a second feed in her A time since she couldn't get enough food in her to make it through the nap without waking up hungry.  As soon as we started solids it helped her a lot as well, both with the reflux and with sleeping.  Once your LOs are ready for solids I'm sure the naps will start to improve!  Bedtime can be an issue for us as well, my only advice is to keep an eye on cues, and keep any bedtime rituals short.  I know once L is sleepy, she is ready for bed, and gets angry if things take too long (although that may be the spirited side of her coming through...)  She's 7 months old now and we still only do bath and bottle before bed, which usually only takes about 20 min, then I rock with her until she starts to get squirmy, only because she's go-go-go all day, and that's really the only time I get to cuddle with her (I feel so selfish sometimes, lol).

Jen - I can sympathize, I have the touchy/spirited combo all rolled up into one child.  Part of me can't even fathom having another child because I know it is very likely that the next one will be just as spirited and touchy.  It does make things interesting doesn't it?

Good luck ladies!  We're all in the same boat so feel free to vent/complain/chat :)

P.S.  I gave Lyanna some bread this morning as finger food and she started crying because she didn't like the texture...solids are so wonderful, but bring so many challenges as well, lol.

Offline jakobsmom

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #34 on: April 20, 2011, 16:00:15 pm »
MommaBrooke - I am sooo struggling with this nap issue and desperately need advice.  I was trying to get DS onto a 4 hour EASY hoping that this would help him eat more efficiantly.

this is our current day
0400-0430 E (my DH does this bottle and I am going to get him to start to decrease the volume to see if it will increase his am feed) - 140 mL
0700- Awake with activity (wont take a bottle immediately)
0800 E (usually 140-150 mL)
A
Around 0900 is when we attempt S - can usually get him to sleep within 10 minutes but only sleeps for max 45 minutes try to sh/pat to sleep and it only makes it worse
1000 A
1130 -  E 140-160 mL can not seem to make it 4 hours during the morning he turns into an absolute crab do to his minimal nap
1200- out to barn so I can do chores
1215 - S sometimes until 245 or 3
3-330 E 150-160 mL
A
5-530 - E cluster feed 120 mL
515-545 S 45 minutes - 60 minutes
A 700 wind down songs, bath lotion etc.
E 730 100-120mL
S 800
E 1100 (wakes himself up - dream feed just didn't work for us) - 120-140 mL

he really isn't the greatest eater but he is a healthy size and weight so I try and go with the flow with this.  We have only been able to get him to eat 150-160 mL over the past week.  All together he eats roughly 900 mL (30-31 ounces) in 24 hrs

I am just getting so tired of the fights for an am nap as I am sure he is too.  Unfortunately his afternoon nap is generally in the stroller due to my farm chores :(  I know this isn't ideal but it is the only way that I can accomplish what I need to outside during the day.

« Last Edit: April 20, 2011, 16:03:01 pm by jakobsmom »






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Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #35 on: April 21, 2011, 00:49:21 am »
MommaBrooke I have just learnt exactly what you were saying about naps, when Zac is ready for bed he dives in, and if I fuss around too much he is over it. We are finding this hard though now as I am trying to extend his A time...and the poor wee thing has just had his first Ear Infection. I am starting to wonder if we need to shorten his BT routine we have had since he was 6 weeks old. (Its abut 1/2 hour - bath, change, feed, twinkle twinkle song then bed) This is because though he can self settle in bed he is starting to get over it and seems like he wants bed when I am feeding him..which sometimes means harder time settling once he is in it!

ClareBear - Its interesting how you have that little musical slideshow, we have a musical night light that fades in and out which he loves now (Though technically he is too old for it at 6 months) maybe these things help chill them out!

Our DS HATED the stroller for a while, we are trying to get him back used to it, not such an issue with the car...it's so frustrating but we are just doing 'mini' walks in the weekend to try to get him comfortable in there.

What makes DS so strange, and it may be the same with your touchy ones too maybe is that he likes to 'see' people and things and be included, but then at the same time it can all be too much all of a sudden ie a loud laugh or if he decides he's had enough. He really likes people from a distance ie 'hello cutie' and a smile. But hates random close ups ie grab his foot and 'hello you' right in his face

We are quite lucky in that he is a good night sleeper most of the time, its just those night when we hear him make a few noises and you think ill give him a minute to settle....within that minute if he isn't back asleep he is exploding with anger, then happy as larry when you get there. <sigh> aren't babies weird and wonderful.
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DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline clairebear79

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #36 on: April 21, 2011, 07:56:03 am »
What makes DS so strange, and it may be the same with your touchy ones too maybe is that he likes to 'see' people and things and be included, but then at the same time it can all be too much all of a sudden ie a loud laugh or if he decides he's had enough. He really likes people from a distance ie 'hello cutie' and a smile. But hates random close ups ie grab his foot and 'hello you' right in his face
We have exactly this issue too.  He cannot bear being held by anyone except me or DH & will cry the most heartbroken cry you have ever heard, but if we take him back, he will want to look at the person who just held him.  Its like he's curious from a distance, but they aren't allowed to get too close.

Offline Jiinx

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #37 on: April 21, 2011, 16:19:22 pm »
jacobsmom do you have a thread for your situation? You may get more eyes on a thread than here :) :-*
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Offline MommaBrooke

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #38 on: April 21, 2011, 16:35:02 pm »
jakobsmom - I'm not very good with schedules, lol...but I remember Lyanna wasn't able to do 2h A time until maybe 5 months.  I suspect your little guy may be overtired for his first nap if he is awake for 2 hours (especially after waking up at 4am for a feed).  You may also want to move bedtime back, I know at that age L needed a 12hr night, and I suspect your little guy may as well since he is waking up twice to eat during his sleeping time.  I would definitely post on the EASY forum and see what some more experienced people have to say, and check out the birth clubs too (the parents in the 4-6month birth club will be able to tell you what A time their LO is managing for that age group) :)

Offline jakobsmom

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #39 on: April 21, 2011, 23:31:54 pm »
Thanks for the info!  I was actually laying in bed last night calculating how long my LO is actually sleeping and thinking that he needs an earlier bedtime.  Also have decreased him to 3.5 hour EASY and for the first time he took a 1 hr 45 minute nap in the am.  Still some other issues to iron out though. 

Really appreciate the input :)






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Offline Jamichelle

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #40 on: April 30, 2011, 12:52:37 pm »
Hi all i am new to this site and could really do with some HELP, i have a 14 week old little girl who crys an aweful lot, she is very draining and i am finding it so hard. I have older children and have never had this problem before.She wants constant attention while awake and only takes short day naps,she doesnt sleep through the night yet :( what am i doing wrong please help, michelle x

Offline clairebear79

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #41 on: April 30, 2011, 19:44:58 pm »
Hi Jamichelle

I totally understand where you are coming from, I have been in the same boat with a baby who cries a lot and it IS hard.  But you have come to the right place for support!!!  This website is excellent & there are lots of helpful mamas on here to help you get back on track.

If you are new to BW, have you already done the BW know your baby quiz to determine whether your LO is a 'touchy' baby?  Here's the link:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0

With you saying your LO is crying a lot, could there be any pain/discomfort issues e.g. wind/colic/reflux??  Is she feeding well?

My LO also went through a stage of taking short naps in the day at a similar age to your LO.  When they are between 3-6months they often have difficulty transitioning from one sleep cycle to the next (sleep cycles are typically 45mins) and will often wake up & need help to get back to sleep until they learn to put themselves back to sleep.  The sleep boards FAQ's section will take you through techniques you can use to help them with this (sssh/pat, PU/PD, W2S, HTTJ) 

If naps are typically 30mins and there is lots of fussing/crying/screaming when trying to get your LO down and also when she wakes up, it could be your LO is overtired & may need to be put down for naps earlier.  If she's waking happy from the short nap, she may be undertired & need to be awake longer before her next nap. 

Have you visited the EASY board?  It may be that she just needs a little tweak in her routine.  I would suggest posting your routine on there in EAS format and you should get some great advice - the mods on there are really helpful.  If you do the quiz & your DD is a touchy LO, do come back for a chat/rant/moan soon!!!

Offline Jamichelle

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #42 on: May 01, 2011, 08:42:20 am »
hiya i have just done the know your baby test and is says i have a touchy baby with a bit of grumpy chucked in for good measure, has anyone got any good tips to help me out PLEASE x

Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #43 on: May 01, 2011, 19:35:25 pm »
Hi Jamichelle,

((Hugs)) it is hard work aye  :-* For me my touchy DS is at his happiest when he is not tired. I spent months working on his sleep and once he was napping better he was generally happier and 'less' touchy all the time. In saying that we have had ear infections and teething so I am back to square one with him <sigh>

Personally I had to go in and help DS through all his naps for a while till he learnt to sleep longer. At the same time I had to find his right A time.

Not sure if your LO is touchy with other people, but we find outings like the supermarket are good as DS can look out at others but the attention is not on him. As soon as there are too many people all over him he melts down. We make sure for anything new that it is introduced slowly, it may take a few times for touchy babies to accept change.
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DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
« Reply #44 on: May 02, 2011, 02:45:09 am »
So over easter we had DH family all up (his brother and his wife and 4 kids) who DS had never met, plus his parents brothers and sisters. They all barricaded into our house to meet him even though I had suggested to MIL that a more subdued approach may work better....You can guess what happened...We had the BIGGEST meltdown I have ever seen!!!!!! :o

It was like the world was coming to an end and DS could see the eye of the storm! He was terrified. Of course everyone looks as me like I did something to make him react that way, and when MIL couldn't settle him I snatched him away and had to 're-introduce' him to everyone slowly (after a comfort feed in the bedroom which I don't like to do often)

The best bit is MIL decided he was upset because he was hungry not because he was overwhelmed, I wouldn't know...I'm just his mum grr >:(

Anyway, just thought I would share my touchy story of the month....anyone else have anything similar recently?
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DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.