Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2

[clairebear79]

Hi ladies

Does anyone else have issues with their touchy LO being scared of the hoover or the hairdryer or shower? 

My 8month DS totally freaked out this morning when I hoovered - I swear he's getting worse.  He literally shook with fear & screamed & screamed.  Its getting to the point that I'm trying to do this sort of thing while he naps but that's not going to help him overcome his fears is it??!  Any tips on how to overcome this?

[jakobsmom]

I put DS in a sling while I did my chores - but he is younger and probably lighter then your LO.  Fortunately the vacuum doesn't scare him (he actually quite likes its), but other loud noises definately do.  The other day I sneezed, and he was sooo upset his face went bright red and he just started crying.  This also happens when the dogs bark, or there is anyother loud noise.  I think the best thing might be to just keep exposing him and reassuring your LO during the process.  This has helped our LO with loud noises...we are still struggling with loud people though.  I swear some people talk to babies like they can't hear!  Exposing him has also helped with small outings like going to the grocery store etc.

[clairebear79]

I'm a bit mystified by it all really.  He used to be ok with the hoover but in the last month or so he's finding it really scary.  And when I take a shower (which he used to have no problem with) he cries as soon as I switch the water on.  Its bizarre!!!  Unless its all made worse by being OT (we are chronically OT at the moment I am sure of it)

[ZacsMumme]

Our LO is a tad nervous around the hoover/vacuum cleaner. He is usually okay if we have him in the front pack when vacuuming though. He seemed to develop that fear too...around 5 months. He also HATEs sneezes and any loud clanging noise will sometimes set him off into a state.

You are totally right about OT though Clairebear....when DS is OT he is so much more fragile especially around loud voices!

FOr us there is just a LOT of reassurance all the time. When DS got a little afraid of the vacuum I got DH to vacuum while I held DS and reassured him - peeking into the rooms that DH was vacuuming into etc...He now will sit in the front pack on DH while he vacuums (most the time)

[clairebear79]

thanks ladies.  I do have a baby carrier & he still fits in it (just!) so I may have to try using the hoover with him in it!  If that fails I'll try your tip ZacsMumme and let him watch the hoover safely in my arms for reassurance.

Don't these touchies have funny little ways?! 

I see a few of you are finding it difficult on outings to supermarkets or shopping malls - and are trying to expose your LO's to these sorts of places really slowly.   Its strange as going to the shops has never been a cause of upset for DS - when he's in his stroller he's quite happy to look around & see what's going on - but my DS is a 'look but don't touch' kinda guy.  If a stranger were to talk to him & get too close, he'd get really upset.  Bless his soul!!! I do find though that there's so much going on in shops it can be overstimulating for him & he WILL NOT go to sleep even if he is exhausted.  Its very restricting as it means we have to fit all outings/errands around his naps but its what's best for him.

[MommaBrooke]

DH turned sneezing into a joke...he sneezed once and scared her, so he started fake sneezing and laughing after to make it funny for her.  She loves it now, she thinks sneezing is the most hilarious thing ever   Not sure if you can turn vacuuming into a joke...

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Hi ladies...

Having a tough day with my touchy girl over here.    Haven't been able to put her down all day long except for 1 stint where she was asleep and I managed to lay her down for 15 min before she woke up again.  For a lot of the day she wouldn't even stand for the sling!  Just my arms while I was bouncing her on my exercise ball.  Long day!

Any tips that worked for your LOs when they were tiny to calm them?  DH tried to take her to give me a break and she cried like he was torturing her for 20 min straight, even when he swaddled her, bounced her, gave her the paci, etc. 

[ZacsMumme]

((HUGS)) Sounds like you are having a hard day, poor bubs and poor mum 
Is your LO only 2 weeks old? We didn't have any issues with DS being touchy till a bit later on so unfortunately I can't be of much help

Sounds like she may be in pain if she isn't able to sleep, could this be a possibility? Is she feeding well...if she wakes after 20mins sleep I think that is usually pain related ie wind,reflux or something else?

Some things we did try that worked for DS when he was going through tough days and not settling was turning on the faucet on high pressure and rocking him etc with that running close by, turning music on and rocking to the rhythm, when rocking gently tapping DS bottom to the rhythm of a heartbeat and shhing, Going outside where at least you have fresh air (sometimes good for your sanity) If you have a creaky rocking chair that used to work for us too....

Hope things are better tomorrow 

[MommaBrooke]

((hugs)) Kate!  Any sort of white noise worked for us (we have a dehumidifier in the basement and went down there when we couldn't settle her), but not all the time.  Other things that worked were rhythmic noises (my mom calmed her down by clicking her tongue in her ear at a steady pace, weird I know) and lots of movement.  We used the swing a lot to calm her and I walked around with her a lot...I feel like I did a million laps of our house while she was a newborn.  And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she wasn't used to DH until much later...they had a pretty tough time forming a bond until she was 2-3 months because she just took that long to get used to him.  Hopefully things get better soon!

[clairebear79]

Hi Kate

(((hugs))) I hope she's settled down for you a bit by now.  I remember days like those all too well - our DS has been touchy from birth too.

I do agree with ZacsMumme - if you are unable to put her down at all, do you think she could be in any pain?  I spent many months being told by family my LO was just a whingey/demanding baby & to just accept it, and have only very recently discovered he has a milk intolerance (he also has reflux).  Yes he is touchy, but some of his irritability could well have been caused by that.

As for tips for calming her down......our DS had a really strong urge to suck & we couldn't have survived the first few months without a dummy!  We never swaddled DS at night but found swaddling REALLY helped to calm & settle him when he was crying, right up until he was around 3 months old, especially if he was OS or OT.  As a newborn, swaddle plus dummy plus a cuddle would work wonders for sending him off to dreamland & then we's pop him in the cot (we waited at least 20mins for him to be in a deep sleep before putting down).  We also found that holding him on our shoulder & dancing/rocking to gentle music was a good way to calm him down, as was patting his bum.  We took him for lots of walks in the pram - and the fresh air did wonders for me too.  I still do this now if DS is having a whingey day. 

If your LO is having trouble settling for your DH, maybe he could try some skin to skin contact with her over the next few days at a time when she is more settled?  Or if she's FF does he give her any feeds?  If not maybe he could try? Might help increase the bond? 

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.xx

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Thanks so much everyone!  So good to hear from those who have BTDT. 

We've been doing lots of swaddle/paci/white noise but I'll keep that up for sure.  She has let me wear her in the sling most of the day today so at least I've been able to get some things done which feels better! 

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she wasn't used to DH until much later...they had a pretty tough time forming a bond until she was 2-3 months because she just took that long to get used to him.

Skin to skin is a really good idea.  We'll try that.  She's BF and we haven't introduced bottles yet so he hasn't been able to do any feeds.  I'll probably do that around 4 weeks and you're right, it may help.  I do have to go out tomorrow for 2h and I can't take her with me so that should be interesting for poor DH.  Hoping it will go well.  I wish I could take her but it's for work and I just can't work out how to do it, especially if she's going to be fussy.  We shall see! 

Thanks again, ladies...

Ugh.  That is tough to hear.  DH is actually a SAHD and will be on his own full time when I go back to work at the end of June so I need to work on this one for sure if I can.  It's just so hard to hear her scream and so easy to just take her back and settle her myself (well, sometimes easy! ).

If your LO is having trouble settling for your DH, maybe he could try some skin to skin contact with her over the next few days at a time when she is more settled?  Or if she's FF does he give her any feeds?  If not maybe he could try? Might help increase the bond?

[ZacsMumme]

Ohh I just thought of one thing we always did pretty much straight off the bat which helped DS bond with DH. DH always took a bath as part of BT routine with DS. It was great for both of them, and in the early days I would help out...now DS looks forward to bath time with dad.

It also means they get the skin to skin with the warm water. Not sure if your LO likes water, but could be one way to help them bond It will happen, it just takes time xx

[MommaBrooke]

If he's a SAHD I'm sure it won't take as long as it did for my DH.  As long as everyone is patient and understanding of your new babes personality then it probably will take just a little bit longer than normal

[Ima shel Alon]

Hi there,
Did any of you moms of touchy LO's found it difficult to travel abroad with your LO's?
I mean, for sure traveling on an airplane, being in a different country is hard for most babies, but the touchy ones!
The flight was kind of ok, only two hours and he didn't sleep the whole day, which happens sometimes. I was always able to put him back on track, but not this time!!! No way this boy will nap.
It's like the energy of a new country totally confused him, I don't know what it is...
Any suggestions for while we are here, in a foreign country, and also for the way back???
What a nightmare!

[clairebear79]

sorry I've not dared venture abroad with my touchy DS yet!!!!  We're going to wait another year or so before we do I think.  Maybe just try & do things as much as possible the way you would at home eg winddown etc & that will help things feel more familiar perhaps?

xx