Author Topic: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib  (Read 8371 times)

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Offline lgillam

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We have had mixed results with the pu/pd method, although there hasn't been much pu because she pushes against us and keeps crying.  So we just leave her in crib.  The main problem is once she starts displaying tired signs, me or my husband will take her up and put her in the crib and sit down in the chair next to it.  She immediately sits up or crawls or kneeling or trying to stand against the crib bars.  So we constantly are laying her back down, which is what makes her cry out of frustration (I assume) if we let her crawl around or whatever she isn't crying but she isn't sleeping either.  And eventually she gets so wore out and overtired and then the real crying does start.  So I'm not sure what we should be doing here.  I always read you should put the baby in the crib drowsy but awake, how do you get them drowsy in the first place?!  She's so obviously tired but she fights it and wants to remain active despite it.  Are we overstimulating her by staying in the room with her?  But if we don't then its a CIO situation, right?  Any advice?

-Lisa

Offline sim75

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2010, 09:59:33 AM »
Firstly Lisa, I sympathise!! I had only posted a thread about a month ago for the exact same reasons as you have describe - my son was 10 months and we have traditionally done pupd (it was modified to be more pd as he got older) and we were still in the room next to him.  I was trying to move on to gradual withdrawal - which isnt letting them CIO - so there is another method available  ;)

My son started out doing the sitting up / crawling thing when he was about the same age as your dd. At the time I let him just do it until he tired out (and I enjoyed watching him). In hindsight, I wished Id moved on to the gradual withdrawal then, not 2 months later when he'd moved on to standing up in the cot (practicing this as he was then able to stand unaided) as things became much tougher!!

Here is a link to my thread so that you can see the journey we went through - with a successful ending  :D  Sometimes it helps to read the pain that others went through so you dont feel at your wits end on your own, and it helps you to see that there really is a light at the end of that tunnel!  The clincher for us I think was that I needed to extend his A time. The rest seemed to then fall into place (we were also dealing with the 2 to 1 nap transition which I doubt will be a factor for you yet, but another reason to get yourself out of the room now rather than later IMO!)

Self settling and practicing milestones

Oh, the pu resistance you are getting with her pushing against you, we had that too when he was younger - it was a sign that it was too stimulating. So that's when there is less of the pu and just the pd.

I hope this is some help to you. I know how frustrating it can  be!


Offline lgillam

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2010, 16:05:32 PM »
Thank you so much for your response!  I read your thread and was so excited to tell my husband that someone out there had the exact same thing and survived! ;-)  I mean I know it will pass of course (just like her colic and all the earlier challenges did that we barely remember now!) but while you are going through it its so hard! 

So we had the worse case of this just last night, she woke up at 4:30am wide awake and sitting up.  My husband went up and started the pd process, an hour later I woke up and realized he was still in there so I took over for another hour.  She wasn't really crying until the end when I'm sure she was OT for being up for 2 hours so early.  She finally fell asleep but I don't know if there is something to speed this process up?  It never takes less than 20-30 minutes but 2 hours is the most.  So I am interested in doing the GW but if its taking her that long with us sitting right next to the crib, I dread how long it will be when we start moving out of the room.  We've been sitting next to the crib for 2 weeks now and maybe its making her more stimulated to see us?  I don't know....

Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2010, 00:44:52 AM »
Just jumping in to add to the good advice you've gotten. :D

So is she actually crying when she's standing?  If she's not crying, I would leave her to it.  She'll sort it out.

If she is crying, you can stay in the room, but sit with your back to her and don't make any eye contact.  It's definitely stimulating for her to see you.  I would give GW a try if I were you.  When we had to do it at first, it could take an hour to get out of the room, but we made it eventually.  I think it would be worth a shot for you. 

What do you think? :D
*Kate*



Offline sim75

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2010, 08:08:09 AM »
Oh you are not alone! Im glad the pain I went through can help someone else as it makes it more worthwhile!!
There is a tough road ahead but you can get down that road, you just need to persevere and it helps if you have both of you on side there to do it as it can get stressful. Remember that it might take longer for her to settle when you switch to GW as it is a change and they dont usually like change, but think of the end goal and know that the time will eventually reduce and she will learn to self settle without you in the room.  And always come on here to vent when you need to cos it certainly helps to get it out!

Someone else may jump in to assist with the EWs and NWs with the business of sitting up. We mostly endured the standing up / sitting up behaviour when we were initially putting him down to bed.   The NWs can be exhausting and we had them moreso through bouts of teething or illness (colds etc) and it meant he needed comfort so we did anything to get him back off to sleep through the pain, which sometimes meant resorting to AP. Im not sure if GW would have worked through the night (for us) but someone else may have been through this where they used it. In any case, a good place to start is when you initially put her down and in theory she will learn to self settle at that point of going to bed, which should then carry through if she wakes in the night.

I can also sympathise with the old days of colic  :'( Glad they are behind you now!


Offline lgillam

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2010, 04:08:56 AM »
Ok, I tried it today for a nap to ignore her completely while I sat in the room (eyes close, pretending to sleep!) and she was quiet for the first 10 minutes while she crawled around and sat and all that she just has to do.  Then the whinning started followed by a whinny cry I think just to get my attention and out of frustration I wasn't doing anything.  But it never escalated.  All in all it took her about a half hour to finally settle herself down to sleep and I snuck out. 

Tonight I tried to do the same thing but she cried a lot harder when I igorned her so I did have to do a few pu/pd but I still kept the interaction to a minimum.  The whole thing still took about a half hour.  I do prefer this method than trying to fight her and keep trying to lay her down.  I think it was stirring her up too much every time I interacted, especially since I wasn't doing anything she liked! 

I feel good about having a new plan. Now, how do I know when to start the GW, would it be after she is able to go to sleep in a certain amount of time or how should that work?

Thanks again for both you ladies' time and advice.  It really does mean the world to me!  I look forward to the time I can come on here and help others with my (past!) experience :)

Offline sim75

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2010, 04:51:42 AM »
It is good to have a plan in mind, you feel more in control of what you're trying to achieve.

Well done on the start you've made. She is probably working you out right now wondering why you arent "playing" anymore. But keep it up, even if she protests.  She will know she is still safe.

I moved on with the GW by just going by my own instinct with the timings but there is no time like the present! I began next to the cot/crib like you currently are, and my next step was to sit on the floor at the end of the cot (get some cushions since you might be there a while to begin with  ;) ).  She may peer over the end of the crib looking for you and you may need to do some laying back down. But try to ignore her first unless she really cries out in distress as she might just work it out on her own.  From there, after a few days you can either move to sit by the door or move straight out of the room.  I had to sit by the door for that next stage.  Once you get to the stage where you are out of the room after putting her down you can just wait by the door and go back in if she cries out in distress. If she is just standing up or crawling around, leave her to it.  We have mirrored wardrobe doors in DS' room so I would leave the door slightly ajar and watch him through them!

There are still occasions when putting him down at night where we will have to go back in but overall he self settles as a result of this method.

The key thing for me was to know that he really was ready to go to bed, meaning he had been up for the appropriate length of A time.  I now have this down to a fine art going by the BW guidelines for his age and he is off in minutes.  If I attempt to put him down any earlier he won't have a bar of it!  There are times where he wont reach the full A time length though e.g. after a swim lesson or if he is ill so keep an eye on premature signs of tiredness too.

Keep up the good work, you can do this!

Offline lgillam

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2010, 18:44:57 PM »
Just an update to let you know its going really well lately.  I'm starting the GW and as long as I time her sleepiness right, there isn't a whole lot of protesting.  I'm not out of the room yet though, so I may be back on here!  But it feels like so much less of a fight these days so I feel ok about it all.  Thanks again for your advice and support!!  :)

Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2010, 23:38:56 PM »
Fantastic!  So glad it's going well.  Keep us posted for sure! :D
*Kate*



Offline sim75

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2010, 10:20:17 AM »
Oh brilliant  ;D  i kept checking in to see how you were going so it's lovely to hear things are well. Def keep us posted - success stories are great to read!

Offline iteachpre3s

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2010, 00:29:23 AM »
My LO does the same thing.. crawling, standing... so i was reading this post... I don't understand what GW means... could someone enlighten me??

Offline Love, laughter, & PJs

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Re: 8 month old won't lay down, just keeps sitting up and crawling in crib
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2010, 18:05:54 PM »
I don't understand what GW means

GW = gradual weaning.  It basically means that you'll sit in the room with your back turned to your LO.  You continue to say a certain phrase like "It's time for sleep" or whatever works for you, whenever s/he gets upset.  When s/he is silent, you scoot a little farther away.  You do this until you've scooted out the door!  Sometimes it can take a while but it tends to work well. :D
*Kate*