Author Topic: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!  (Read 6453 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline deva1987uk

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 26
  • My beautiful boy
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« on: April 24, 2011, 22:34:41 PM »
Hi ladies,

As the title says, my 13 month old son will not sleep without being cuddled up to me. I know people don't agree with co-sleeping but for a time while my son was suffering (severe GERD) this was the easiest and most effective way of settling him back down without waking up the entire household.

He has never slept more than a 6 hour stretch at night and I also struggle to get him to take a nap for more than 45 minutes a day. He seems like a very light sleeper and the slightest noise will wake him which kind of sucks considering his bedroom is right opposite the bathroom! lol

Now his problem is somewhat controlled, I need him to start sleeping again. But every single time it flares up it always goes back to square 1 no matter what I do.

Please can anybody help? I do not want to resort to controlled crying as this just makes him projectile vomit  :-\

Thanks for any help you can offer!
Melissa
« Last Edit: April 24, 2011, 22:36:17 PM by deva1987uk »
Mummy to a cloth bummed little prince suffering with severe reflux since birth

Offline deva1987uk

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 26
  • My beautiful boy
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2011, 08:35:45 AM »
can anybody help? :(
Mummy to a cloth bummed little prince suffering with severe reflux since birth

Offline skatty

  • The Lounge
  • Forum Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 346
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16280
  • My spirited girl
  • Location: Denmark
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2011, 08:44:32 AM »
Hello, don't worry we are here to help  ;)

Your son is obvioulsy used to having you there to sleep so the way BW recommends to wean him off his dependancy on you is by the gradual withdrawal method here:

The Gradual Withdrawal Method

The key to Gradual Withdrawal is to take tiny steps and make the changes very small at first so the child barely notices them.  Create a plan, broken into small steps of how you will reduce the parental dependence and work towards independence.  For example, patting on the back becomes lighter and lighter until the hand barely brushes the child's back, but is poised just above it.

To implement, follow your bedtime routine being certain that your child has sufficiently wound down from the day.  When wind down is completed, lay your child down, tuck them in and use a phrase they can associate with it's sleep time such as "time to go night-night you can find your blankie/pacifier/suck your thumb/etc. to help you fall asleep." Settle your child in their crib/bed and comfort as you normally would, then implement the first step in your plan.  Depending upon your child's temperament, you may be able to tackle more in less nights, or need to do less over the course of more nights.

The Gradual Withdrawal Method is intended for children that are reliant upon a parent's presence to calm them and help them settle for sleep. Examples are: sitting in the room, holding a child's hand, laying down with a child, patting to sleep, among others.  The idea is to simply reduce the reliance on parental presence gradually and in very small increments so the child continues to settle well and gains confidence in their ability to fall asleep independently.  The parent is there to assist the child in sleeping, but slowly reduces the dependence.  Examples might be: moving a chair closer and closer to the door until out of the room over the course of a few weeks, moving out a child's bed to an air mattress on the floor, then slowly move farther and farther towards the door over time, reducing the length of time patting though still staying with the child - then slowly working closer and closer towards the door.

This is also the best method for a child:

who's undergone controlled crying or crying it out as it helps to regain any trust that may have been broken
who gets very upset, sometimes to the point of vomiting
who does not settle after hours/days/weeks of walk in/walk out

This may also be a good method for a child who is not necessarily dependant on any one thing, but who needs some fundamental training to learn how to sleep independently.


It is not quick but it is kind and there is no loss of trust. Little baby steps will get your DS sleeping independantly  ;) Just post if you have any questions  :)
Katt





Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!

Offline skatty

  • The Lounge
  • Forum Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 346
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16280
  • My spirited girl
  • Location: Denmark
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2011, 08:46:53 AM »
BTW once he is sleeping on his own his own he will probably start sleeping for longer and deeper  ;)
Katt





Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!

Offline babybarr

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 215
  • Posts: 11917
  • Location: Hampshire - UK
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2011, 09:27:23 AM »
What sort of times are you trying for naps?  I would perhaps try to keep 2 naps for a bit longer if the night sleep isn't great.  Do you lay with him for naps?
LAURA xx




Offline deva1987uk

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 26
  • My beautiful boy
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2011, 09:36:36 AM »
Thanks :) I will give it a go tonight. I tend to sit by the bed until he's well asleep, hold his hand or if he's really unsettled I have to cuddle him to sleep. Then the night time wakings are every 2-3 hours and I am finding them increasingly difficult at the moment as I'm suffering with a broken wrist! No partner to help out lol

He only tends to have a single nap a day which can be anything from midday to 3pm before he settles or nothing at all. Then at bedtime he's so tired he won't eat or drink a bottle he just drops and has an hour or 2 nap much to my frustration! lol. Its like now, he's been up since 7.45, rubbing his eyes like crazy and grumpy but he just refuses point blank to sleep. Its like he thinks he'll miss something if he does lol
« Last Edit: April 25, 2011, 09:48:20 AM by deva1987uk »
Mummy to a cloth bummed little prince suffering with severe reflux since birth

Offline deva1987uk

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 26
  • My beautiful boy
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2011, 15:02:15 PM »
Its just taken me 2 hours to get him down for his nap! Ended up sitting by the cot with my hand on his stomach til he gave up wriggling
Mummy to a cloth bummed little prince suffering with severe reflux since birth

Offline skatty

  • The Lounge
  • Forum Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 346
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16280
  • My spirited girl
  • Location: Denmark
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2011, 06:55:42 AM »
What time does he wake in the morning? I am sure some of the other ladies have better advice but it sounds like he needs more of a set routine. Have you worked out what his ideal awake time is after he has woken in the morning to fall asleep for his nap? If he falls asleep just before bedtime for a nap then maybe he needs to have a short catnap in the afternoon, I used to do 20 mins and it was just enough to get my dd through dinner, bath and bed at that age, she would have that catnap out walking in the pushchair.
Katt





Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!

Offline deva1987uk

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 26
  • My beautiful boy
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2011, 07:34:06 AM »
He won't have a morning nap. Won't even consider it. He fell asleep at 2.55pm yesterday and woke around 4.30pm still grumpy then fell asleep on his own in his cot around 8-8.30pm. He woke twice during the night at around 11pm and 3am then woke up at 6.30am still tired. He's chucked a huge paddy but I've managed to get him back to sleep. I'll wake him up soon though and try and get him down for a nap around 11am, cos I have been trying to implement a routine, he's just having none of it lol
Mummy to a cloth bummed little prince suffering with severe reflux since birth

Offline skatty

  • The Lounge
  • Forum Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 346
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16280
  • My spirited girl
  • Location: Denmark
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2011, 12:09:07 PM »
There is a really good sleep book that i would recommend you read, just ignore the stuff about CIO and CC but I think you would find it really handy, it is mahoosive but you can just read the relevant parts:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/009190255X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1303815830&sr=8-1

I think this helped me as a parent when my dd was a terrible sleeper, I started to understand about sleep patterns, OT and all the scientific stuff and it helped get my head in order to help  ;)

Is there any way you can get your DS to nap? Will he fall asleep in the pushchair? He is probably very long term OT and the problem is when a LO is like that there bodies can't relax and sleep until it literally crashes which sounds like is happening with your DS. Some of us have had to APOP (accidental parenting on purpose) to get our LOs rested enough that they can get into some sort of routine and sleep train.
Katt





Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!

Offline deva1987uk

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 26
  • My beautiful boy
  • Location: Blackpool, UK
Re: Help! My baby won't sleep without me!
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2011, 19:06:00 PM »
I can get him to nap sometimes, but this is usually only once a day and can be anywhere between 11am and 3pm before he finally drops. I do tend to encourage him to sleep in either his cot or his pram.
He's dropped off quite easily tonight but will see how he goes through the night
Mummy to a cloth bummed little prince suffering with severe reflux since birth