Good gracious; struggling again.

[henrysmomma]

Soooo, we moved my five month olds' A time back abit as we were consistently getting 45 minute naps with an hour and 45 minute A time. We worked at it slowly and we are on day three of a 2 hour and 30 minute A time and we are consistently getting a good 1.5 hour nap in the morning but afternoon naps are a disaster.  He fights going down, he fights his swaddle, he scream which results in 4 or 5 pu/pd's and oh my are we cranky.  We were having bad afternoons with a 1 hour 45 minute A as well as a 2 hour A time and 2 hour 15 minute A time. 

We are teething but not as bad as it was a week or two ago, we are slowly weaning as my supply died due to PCOS and I am just beginning to feel like things are getting worse, not better.  Nights are getting harder too...longer and longer to get him down due to OT as the afternoon naps are pretty awful.  I had to lay down with him twice in order to get him to sleep over the last few weeks.  Just feeling defeated.  We are sticking to the 2.5 hour A time.

Also, I nurse him as he gets up from his nap and then give him a 3 oz formula bottle, which at times he refuses.  We do cereal at least twice a day with him getting about an ounce of formula, squash or pears and cereal.  This afternoon he woke early from his nap because(I feel) he was hungry. 

I would post my EASY but I am horrible at keeping track of the times:  I watch the clock and note the time he gets up so we know the time that he needs to go back down.  He is definitely touchy/spirited and this bull that we are dealing with is wearing this momma out.  If I had nothing better to do (I run a business from my home and HAVE to put in so many hours/day)I wouldn't care as much.  Wish that he had a dial that I could switch him to an Angel Baby....really frustrated....any suggestions?

[henrysmomma]

...and we have tried Tylenol, gripe water, gas drops, teething tablets, etc and nothing works...he is currently giving my husband the colic scream as I type....I would kill to have someone come into our home and help me with him and his sleep patterns...wishing he wasn't so touchy.  Please tell me someone else is dealing with this same issue!  Sigh....

[j.and.e]

If he is hungry and not drinking all his milk u cud try cutting solids. Milk is most important for nutrician under 1yo. Fraid i never had angel sleepers as babes. If u think he is OT after short naps try Ebt? Think at 5mo usually 2long nap and a CN. However sometimes developmental milestones, digestion probs etc can cause sleep distrbance. Gd routine will help but mite not be a magic bullet. Hugs xx

[henrysmomma]

Sorry but what is ebt?

[~Sara~]

*hugs* It's so hard to function when those babies just won't sleep.  I can imagine how hard it must be working from home, too.

So, just so I understand, his 1st nap is great after a 2.5h A time?  But the 2nd nap is hard to get him down, no matter the A time?  How long is he awake for, then, by the time he finally falls asleep for that 2nd nap, and how long does he normally sleep for it?

I agree with j.and.e that if his 2nd nap is short because he's OT, then do an early bedtime (ebt).  Is he having a catnap at all by any chance?

[henrysmomma]

First off, thank you for listening to my vent.   I am at the end of my rope; I am getting absolutely NO work done and I am entering the busiest three months of my year and I am already so behind in work that it would take two of me two weeks to get caught up, so, yes, I really just need my little guy to sleep! 

Yes, you are correct-he does give a good nap right off the bat and then some days he takes a 45 minute nap for the 2nd and sometimes I fight him and usually it is more like 3-4.5 hours before he goes down-leaving him OT.  We have tried earlier bed times but that falls right in the 'changing of the guard' as my hubby takes him after 5:00 which makes it hard for him to calm down.  I do photography in my home and have my appointments at night so I don't have to take him to daycare. His nursery is on the second floor (my studio is in the lowest level) and we have white noise so unless someone is screaming-he cannot hear what is going on in my studio.

 I have tried putting him down early for naps after the 45 minute nap and I have tried extending it to keep with the 2.5 hour A time.  Neither has worked.

If he does take the 2nd nap and it is only 45 minutes-we have the same problem with the 3rd nap.  I usually end up rocking him in order to try to extend whatever 10-15 minute nap he gets to get us through til bedtime.  Each day bedtime is different.  I feel like we should be close to having the same time schedule each day but it is always so different. IMPOSSIBLE to make plans.

What also frustrates me is that everyone I know denies that their kiddo has issues sleeping. Seriously, I know that I cannot be the only parent in our area struggling with these issues.  And then they look at me as though I am doing something wrong, or are disappointed in me that I am complaining about his sleep after struggling to have children in the first place for close to 7 years.   

[~Sara~]

How has today been?

So, at least you know first A time/nap are spot on!  That's good   As for the second A time/nap, I would perhaps try 2h45...he's getting to the age where LOs are wanting to drop the catnap and some will refuse it after a certain point in the day.  So if he's going there, it could be a sign that he's just ready for more A time across the board.  How do you know he's OT for the 2nd nap?  Is it just napping for 45 minutes?  If so, I would say that's actually an UT nap.  What do you think about trying 2h45 for that 2nd A time?  So...a day like this:

Awake 7 (just using this as a starting point--adjust to your LO's day)
A: 2.5h
S: 9:30-11 (1.5h)
A: 2h45
S: 1:45-3:15 (1.5h)
A: 2h30
Catnap...you can *try* to squeeze one in from 5:45-6, though he'll probably fight it bc he could be UT.  If he doesn't do EBT well and doesn't tack on sleep in the AM, you can squeeze in a really short catnap and then do bedtime by 8pm

His nursery is on the second floor (my studio is in the lowest level) and we have white noise so unless someone is screaming-he cannot hear what is going on in my studio.

Ah, I love white noise   How dark is his room?  Any chance that it's too light?

Each day bedtime is different.  I feel like we should be close to having the same time schedule each day but it is always so different. IMPOSSIBLE to make plans.

I always looked at bedtime as much more fluid than wake-up time.  Bedtime is adjustable depending on the day, but I suspect that some of the issues you're having are just part of your DS getting ready to drop the catnap.  I could be wrong, but it sounds like you're doing everything else, ya know?

What also frustrates me is that everyone I know denies that their kiddo has issues sleeping. Seriously, I know that I cannot be the only parent in our area struggling with these issues.  And then they look at me as though I am doing something wrong, or are disappointed in me that I am complaining about his sleep after struggling to have children in the first place for close to 7 years.

*hugs* You are DEFINITELY NOT the only parent whose child needs help sleeping.  This site and the sleep boards are proof of that, lol!  A lot of parents who say they don't have any issues either have a baby who is just so easy, it's not fair; they're sugarcoating things; or the "issues" just truly aren't issues to them.  Don't worry about them.  Do what's best for your little one.  Eventually, I promise, you will not remember the struggle of these days.  I remember my son did not sleep longer than 45min at a time for his naps for 2/2.5 months.  I extended every nap and never got anything done.  Sat in his dark room for soooooo long, day after day.  He grew out of it, and honestly, I would give anything to be able to snuggle him at that age again.  Hindsight is so much easier when we're not in the thick of it.  You'll both get through this and it will be something new. 

[henrysmomma]

A huge hug for you!  Thank you so much for your input.  I will definitely extend the 2nd A time to 2 hours 45 minutes.  I will give that a shot and let you know, although I am thoroughly frustrated to share that we are now dealing with a headcold that is just starting. We will see how tomorow goes as daddy has been home for a long weekend for the last four days and well, everything gets graciously screwed up even  though we LOVE having him home.  He gave me four nights of somewhat uninterrupted sleep which was such a blessing.

His room is almost dark; barely any light.  We have beautiful curtains that are covered up by sheets.     My hubby made them. He's a whiz with a sewing machine and just made me two new swaddles this weekend.  Love that man.

Bless you for the reassurance on the bedtime fluidity.  Good to know!  I felt like we were awful parents for having a huge span between bedtimes throughout the week and my DH is always trying to push back BT because it is 'too early'...which results in OT and oh my...three hours to calm our LO.

Our LO had colic up until about four months so I would have KILLED for a 45 minute nap, heck, any nap for that matter.  I know that this will seem to petty in about a year but right now it is overwhelming.  I really appreciate your help and will let you know after a few days of extending the second A time.  I really appreciate it VERY much!  You have no idea.  Now, if I can just get some help with my work load.  After four days of my hubby being home, I am even further behind.  You know what they say about the 'best laid plans.'  Sigh...

[~Sara~]

Aww, bless his heart.  If he's getting a cold, pushing his A time might not work.  Just giving you a heads-up.  Some babies need more sleep when sick, some the same amount, and others fight it because they're so miserable.  If giving him ibprofuen (or something akin) helps at all, or you can use a humidifier, I'd try that to help him relax to sleep better.

Bravo to your DH on the curtains! 

About the swaddles...if your LO is fighting it or you think it might be interfering with him falling asleep, it might be good to have weaning it on your radar.  Again, just a heads-up.  Some LOs still need a swaddle for a bit longer, but many parents start sleep training in earnest around this age.

Let me know how things go!