Need help, daytime sleep almost not there, post surgery, no soothers

[nurse2003]

Hi all
Ok my LO has barely slept a total of an hour in the last 8 hrs and I need help to figure out what to do!
He is 3 months old.
He was born at 36+1 weeks.  I have two older kids 6 & 8 (oldest was full colic for 6 months and we did CIO, 2nd was perfect baby always fell asleep on own, slept well)
We've had challenges with this baby from day one.  He has a cleft lip, reflux and lots of gas issues
Through lots of hard work the reflux is managed pretty well now and the gas was attributed to his cleft and getting extra air.  For weeks leading up to today we have just been letting him nap on us in the carrier because if not he wouldn't sleep more then 30 min on his own.  He's a rather crabby baby (probably touchy), always been high needs, carried a lot, hard to put down etc and with two others kids I finally just went for "what works"  Nighttime sleep has generally been better, swaddled and just before surgery started sleeping 1 5-6hr stretch.
He is exclusively breastfed
So now he's had his cleft repair three days ago....he can't have a soother, we can't use the carrier cuz it rubs his face and hurts his lip and we are swaddle with white noise and shh and pat (the best we can because we can't let him nuzzle in our neck like he likes because again the stitches and pain).  I'm a human soother I feel like.  Even falling asleep on a car ride isn't working anymore, he wakes up the second we are home
I don't even know where to start to get this boy onto a routine and help him sleep.  Today he often falls asleep nursing and just when you think he's asleep his eyes pop wide open again!  I can't get anything done and i'm exhausted.  Nights since surgery are just so so (only been home for 2) but last night he did sleep on his own/eat on about a 3hr schedule....
I wanted to add that he's never been a baby to just go to sleep...he always puts up a fuss of some sort....
What can I do!!!!!

[lauradj]

Oh hon, try not to stress just yet.  I know it's hard because all your fail safe's have been taken away but try to remember, he just had MAJOR surgery. 
My friend's daughter was a great little sleeper but she had to have surgery to repair a heart murmur when she was 3 months old.  Things went backwards for about a month and then they straightened out, though she still isn't the best sleeper.  I know (well I don't but I can imagine), that this has been very very hard on you.  Don't worry about things being messy for a bit while he recovers, just do that best you can. HUG!!!

[Haribo2012]

Massive hugs sounds really tough, totally agree just try and get through next few days. 3 months is a tricky sleep age anyway without all the upheaval.
Does he have any time of day that he's most sleepy, ie my LO used to nap best in the morning? 
I know it's exhausting but maybe a couple of good naps on you will help him catch up on some OT then you can try and sort naps in his cot out.
Must be tough on the little munchkin. x

[nurse2003]

Thanks to you both
On Monday I was a human soother and he tools all his naps in my arms and when he stirred or jolted he soothed on me but he had good naps. He had his stitches out yesterday and pretty much did the same. I'm trying to watch for tired cues. He won't sleep no matter what without swaddling. The slightest noise disturbs him and he often seems really restless like he never gets into a decent deep sleep. Today trying to get him into swing to see if that helps. Last about 15 min. I knew he was still tired so sucked on me and right back to sleep. Still twoore weeks until he's allowed a soother but with two other
Kids not sure how long I can let this constant napping on me happen.....any other advice? I worry his reflux and gas will rear their ugly heads with the over eating by using me as a soother!

[Haribo2012]

Have you tried white noise? My LO still has it on now for naps!
I feel for you being the human soother must be exhausting.
Maybe after he's had a few naps on you and caught up on sleep he might settle easier and you could try shush pat!?

[nurse2003]

Hey all
Its 3 weeks post surgery
He's healed up, he's allowed a soother but just seems to play with it
Daytime naps are all in the carrier and I need to get him out cuz its getting hard on my knees
His A time is usually around 1.5hrs
Naps even in carrier vary from 30min-60 min on average but yesterday did 2.5hrs!
But he doesn't just go to sleep, he's on the border of colic IMO, doesn't go to sleep without crying, doesn just wake up without crying, is hard to keep happy during A times
He will be 4months on the 24th
where do I even start?
Evening his nights are messed up post surgery! He was doing 6 hr stretches and now lucky to get a 3! 
Daytime he eats every 2-3 depending how long he sleeps for...
HELP!
I want to do this but just feel at a loss where to start