Author Topic: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?  (Read 10090 times)

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Offline :: ANA ::

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2014, 04:53:26 am »

******
"This was bedtime tonight.  My wife put her down today:

21:50 Lays her down, leaves the room.  She gets up shortly after that.
21:59 First time my wife goes in.
22:46 Last time she has to go back in.

Note: DD didn't wake up from her afternoon nap fully rested.  She was grumpy in the afternoon and a lot more demanding than in the morning.  Besides, we haven't been able to put her to bed earlier.  I think we'll have to try our best to accomplish that.  What do you think?"

*******
Ana








Offline katie80

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2014, 05:19:51 am »
Well done, all three of you, that's a good start!! ;D

I think the NWs are now down to 3 things... 1) routine: she's definitely in the 2-1 and one of the naps needs to be shortened, 2) she's relying on you to give her the paci... if you're going to keep it, she needs to do the work to get it, and 3) she may be disturbed by being in your room (as you noted ;))

Can you tell me what time the second nap ended on Wed? This is what I see from your post...
WU 9:10
Nap 1 12:35-13:40
Nap 2 16:55-??
BT 21:45 (asleep at 22:15)

And Thursday looks like this...
WU ??
Nap 1 12:28-13:35
Nap 2 16:35-17:43
BT 21:50 (asleep 22:46)

Did you read through the link on the 2-1? Does it suit your routine to have one nap be the longer of the two? By shortening one nap, the other will be longer, so you end up with not so much time between the second nap and BT, keeping her from getting overtired and waking frequently at night.

If you want her to stay in your room, which is totally your choice, I think you need to start being a bit more firm in having her retrieve her own paci and get herself back to sleep. You could even just talk to her from your bed. It may take awhile the first few times and she'll most likely be frustrated, but if you keep getting up to give it to her and also water, she will likely keep waking for that. Some people have put a sippy cup of water in the crib with their LO... how do you feel about that?



Offline anto_nin

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2014, 13:22:52 pm »
Upps, I forget this. Thanks.

I response fast.

Wednesday: Nap 2 16:55-18:15
Thursday: WU 8:50 herself

I add.

Today, Friday:
WU 8:50 hersefl, again.
Nap 1 12:05 on crib; 12:25 asleep WU: 13:40 my wife wake up to eat.


Thank you !!!!!
« Last Edit: October 24, 2014, 15:04:27 pm by anto_nin »

Offline lauradj

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2014, 18:23:04 pm »
It looks like things are really improving, which is great news!  I agree with Katie that if your DD wants the paci, she should have to get it herself, as it appears 'losing' the pacifier in the middle of the night is resulting in many of her NW.  Especially at this age, she's old enough to seek it out.  The other option of course is to just get rid of it entirely and she'll find her thumb or fingers if she needs it. 
Otherwise, I'm glad to see the naps are NW are getting better.  Keep up the good work !


Offline anto_nin

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2014, 23:35:28 pm »
Hola de nuevo, traigo malas noticias.


Voy a seguir contando lo que ha ido pasando en las ultimas horas. Nos quedamos por aqui:

21:50 la pone en cuna, sale de la habitación, se levanta a los pocos segundos.
21:59 entra por primera primera vez
22:46 entra por última vez.

Despertares nocturnos de la noche del jueves al viernes:

04:51 chupe, se lo pone ella sola pero hay que tumbarla (2 veces), sigue durmiendo.
05:15 chupe, se lo tiene que poner mi mujer.
05:25 chupe, se lo tiene que poner mi mujer.
08:30 se pone de pie, la tumba y sigue durmiendo.
08:50 se despierta sola.

Hoy, Viernes:

- siesta 1: (mi esposa)

12:05 la pone en la cuna y se sale. De pie, juegos y pequeños gritos.
12:25 se duerme. No tiene que entrar.
13:40 la despierta para comer.

- siesta 2: (yo)

16:25 en silla de bebe esta irritable.
16:35 la pongo en la cuna y me salgo. De pie, juegos y pequeños gritos. 
16:50 se duerme. No tengo que entrar.
17:30 gruñe, sigue durmiendo.
18:16 atencion!!! se levanta gruñiendo, se pone el chupe, decido tumbarla por si quisiera seguir durmiendo... y se duerme otros 40min.
18:56 se despierta. Esta contenta.


Tras despertarse pensé: genial!! no va a llegar tan cansada a la noche, la llevaré a dormir a las 21:45 (aprox) y seguramente le cueste menos dormirse por estar descansada... Pues desgraciadamente no pasó asi. Os cuento lo que pasó al llevarla a dormir la noche.


- dormir de noche: (yo, mi mujer esta noche trabaja, es enfermera)

21:43 señales de sueño, se frota los ojos

21:52 en cuna, juega y no se queja durante 20min,

22:12 llanto "necesito ayuda", entro, la invito a tumbarse dando palmaditas en colchon pero no me hace caso, insisto en invitarla a tumbarse... parece que se tumba... se vuelve a poner de pie, juega, se rie... insisto en invitarla a tumbarse, nada, la tengo que tumbar yo y salgo.

Se pone a jugar con otro chupe (rojo) que hoy le he puesto en la cuna (aun no he podido conseguir los luminosos), se olvida de mi presencia, no me hace caso y le doy beso "buenas noches, a dormir" y me salgo. A los 10min vuelve a llorar "necesito ayuda", entro y al verme deja de llorar y se rie... Pienso: "me esta controlando, esta riendose de mi".

Alterno invitaciones de tumbarse con tumbarla yo mismo, sigue jugando, no consigo que se quede tumbada 5segundos para poder salir sin que me vea. Decido salir aunque me vea. Salgo y justo cuando estoy atravesando el marco de la puerta llora "necesito ayuda", ahora me espero un poco mas tiempo fuera de la habitacion y se para de llorar, pero vuelve a llorar, vuelvo a esperar y vuelve a llorar... El llanto no cesa, entro y al verme se vuelve a reir!!! Intento ver si tiene lagrimas, hay poca luz, creo que no tiene lagrimas. Pienso de nuevo: "se rie de mi", "diooooos, ¿como salgo de esta espiral?"

Asi estoy hasta las 23:30 aprox, que empiezo a ver que se frota los ojos mientras juega. Sigo invitandola a tumbarse, no quiere, la tumbo yo.

23:41 en el enesimo intento, se queda tumbada... y se duerme 23:45.



Ya no se qué pensar.


Parece que el hecho de alargarle la siesta otros 40min no ha dado resultado, incluso ha ido a peor. Aunque ha sido duro, creo que por una vez no debemos sacar conclusiones, por eso pregunto, ¿vuelvo mañana a alargarle su siesta 2?

Seguramente no de tiempo a que me respondais pero, ¿que hago, la despierto a las 9:00 o la dejo un rato más? Creo que le despertaré a su hora para seguir con la rutina.



Lei el articulo de 2 a 1 siestas, pero estamos esperando a ver como se desarrollan los proximos dias. Ademas, en el libro de Tracy tambien leí el apartado que habla de esto. Cuando Ana traduzca vuestros posts os responderé a algunas preguntas que me habeis hecho (leyendoos en ingles no comprendo bien la pregunta).


Seguiré contando lo que va pasando para que tengais datos para decidir como continuar.

Muchas gracias de nuevo, me voy a la cama... un poco triste. Mañana veremos la luz.

Buenas noches.
 

Offline :: ANA ::

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #20 on: October 25, 2014, 00:25:05 am »
*******
Hola Antonio, te traduzco los posts de Katie y de Laura, aunque veo que ya has respondido una parte.

El de Katie:
"Bien hecho, los tres! Es un buen inicio!! ;D

Pienso que los despertares nocturnos pueden deberse a tres cosas...1)rutina: definitivamente está en la transición 2-1 y una de sus siestas necesita ser más corta, 2) ella depende de ti para que le des el chupe...si se lo vas a dejar, ella necesita hacer el 'trabajo duro' de buscarlo y tomarlo, y 3) su sueño puede verse perturbado por el hecho de estar compartiendo la habitación con ustedes (como bien has notado  ;))

¿Podrías decirme a qué hora terminó la segunda siesta el miércoles?  Esto es lo que veo en tu post...

Despertar 9:10
Siesta 1 12:35-13:40
Siesta 2 16:55-??
Acostarse 21:45 (dormida a las 22:15)

Y el jueves se ve así...
Despertar ??
Siesta 1 12:28-13:35
Siesta 2 16:35-17:43
Acostarse 21:50 (dormida a las 22:46)

¿Leíste el link sobre la transición 2-1? ¿Se acomoda a su rutina tener una siesta que sea más larga que la otra? Al recortar una de las siestas la otra será más larga, dejando no tanto tiempo entre la segunda siesta y la hora de ir a dormir, previniendo que se agote y esté despertándose continuamente durante la noche.

Si deseas que se quede en tu habitación, lo cual es completamente decisión de ustedes, pienso que necesitan empezar a ser un poco más firmes al respecto de que sea ella quien busque y tome el chupe para volverse a dormir.  Pueden incluso sólo hablarle desde la cama.  Puede tomar tiempo al principio y es muy posible que ella se frustre, pero si sigues levantándote para darle el chupe y el agua, es posible que se siga despertando para eso.  Algunas personas ponen un vaso/taza entrenadora con agua en la cuna...¿qué te parece hacer algo así?"

*******
« Last Edit: October 25, 2014, 00:30:53 am by n&a's mommy »
Ana








Offline :: ANA ::

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2014, 00:30:27 am »
****
El de Laura:

"Parece que las cosas realmente están mejorando, ¡son grandes noticias!  Estoy de acuerdo con Katie al respecto de que si tu hija quiere el chupe, debe tomarlo ella, ya que al parecer el estarlo 'perdiendo' durante la noche provoca muchos de sus despertares.  A esta edad especialmente, ella es lo suficientemente grande para buscarlo solita.  La otra opción, por supuesto, es simplemente deshacerse del chupe por completo, y ella encontrará su pulgar o sus dedos si los necesita.
Fuera de eso, me alegra ver que los despertares han mejorado un poco.  ¡Buen trabajo, sigan así!"

******
Ana








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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2014, 03:54:54 am »
Antonio's latest post:

********
"Hi again, I have some bad news.

I'll tell you about the past few hours. This is where we left off:

21:50 Lays her down, leaves the room.  She gets up shortly after that.
21:59 First time my wife goes in.
22:46 Last time she has to go back in.

NWs from Thursday to Friday:

4:51 paci, she gets it by herself but we have to do PD (twice), falls asleep
5:15 paci, my wife has to get it and give it to her
5:25 paci, my wife has to get it and give it to her
8:30 she stands up, my wife puts her down and she continues sleeping
8:50 wake up

Friday (today):

First nap (my wife)

12:05 in the crib, my wife leaves the room. She stands, plays, makes noises.
12:25 she falls asleep.  My wife doesn't have to go in.
13:40 my wife wakes her up for lunch.

Second nap (me)

16:25 on her high chair, fussing
16:35 in the crib, I leave the room. She stands, plays, makes noises.
16:50 she falls asleep, I don't have to go in.
17:30 grunts, still sleeping.
18:16 attention!!! she gets up a bit grumpy, gets her paci, I decide to put her down in case she wants to sleep a bit more...and she does, for another 40 minutes.
18:56 she wakes up. She's happy.

After she woke up I thought we were doing great because she wouldn't be so tired for BT; I planned to put her to bed at 21:45 and thought she'd have less trouble falling asleep because she was well rested...Unfortunately, that didn't happen.  This is what happened:

Bedtime (me, my wife works tonight, she's a nurse):

21:43 tired cues, rubs her eyes
21:52 in the crib, she plays for 20 minutes without complaint.
22:12 she cries, I go in and invite her to lie down patting the mattress but she resists.  I insist, it seems she's going to lie down, she does for a second and then she's up again, playing, laughing...I insist with no success, I put her down myself and leave the room.

She plays with a red paci  (I haven't been able to get the glow-in-the-dark ones), forgets all about me, doesn't notice me, I kiss her goodnight and leave.  10 minutes later she cries again, I go in, she stops crying when she sees me, she laughs...I think 'she's manipulating/controlling me, she's laughing at me'.

I alternate between inviting her to lie down and doing PD, she keeps playing, I can't get her to stay lying down for 5 seconds to leave without being seen.  I decide to leave the room even if she's looking.  I set a foot out the door and she cries, this time I wait a bit outside the room and she stops, but then she cries again, I wait a bit, she stops, the cries again...The crying doesn't stop so I go in and when she sees me, she laughs again!!! I try to see if she has tears (the light is too dim) but I think she doesn't.  Again, I think that she's laughing at me and think 'how on Earth do I get out of this cycle?'

We keep doing this until around 23.30, when I see her rub her eyes while she plays.  I keep inviting her to lie down, she resists, I put her down and finally at 23:41 she doesn't stand up again and falls asleep by 23:45.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Apparently, sleeping for 40 extra minutes during her second nap hasn't worked, it has even made things worse. It's been tough but I think that, for now, we shouldn't draw any conclusions yet, so I ask you: should I lengthen  her second nap tomorrow again?

What should I do? wake her up at 9:00am or let her sleep longer? I think I'll wake her to keep the usual routine.

I read the 2-1 thread but we're still waiting to see how the next few days unfold. I also read Tracy's book section on this topic.  Once Ana translates your posts I'll answer your questions (I don't understand them very well when reading them in English).

I'll keep you posted so that you have information to help us decide how to proceed.

Again, thanks so much... I'm off to bed...a bit sad.  Tomorrow is another day.

Good night."
*******
Ana








Offline katie80

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #23 on: October 25, 2014, 04:59:16 am »
I know it's hard not to be sad, but you're not doing anything wrong... I'm pretty sure she wasn't tired enough to go to sleep at bedtime tonight, that's why she was laughing and playing. You all are doing really, really well... I think this is now just a matter of routine tweaking.

She had a 1+hr nap and a 2hr nap today... that's more on par for a 6-9mo routine rather than a 12mo old. I also think all those early morning wakings are a sign that her daytime sleep isn't quite right. I know you're observing now and not sure about the 2-1, but I really do think you need to decide which nap to cut and start now. I think it will help to solve BT and NW issues.

Here are two routine options you could try...
1) Short 1st nap
WU 9:00
Nap 1 12:30-13:10
Nap 2 16:30-18:00
BT 21:30/22:00

2) Short 2nd nap
WU 9:00
Nap 1 13:00-14:30
Nap 2 18:30-19:10
BT 21:30/22:00

What do you think?



Offline :: ANA ::

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #24 on: October 25, 2014, 05:27:31 am »
*****
"Sé que es difícil no sentirse triste pero no es que estén haciendo algo mal...estoy segura de que simplemente no estaba lo suficientemente cansada para dormir y por eso se reía y jugaba. Todos lo están haciendo muy, muy bien. Creo que ahora es más bien un tema de ajustar la rutina.

Hoy tomó una siesta de más de una hora y otra de dos horas...esto es más adecuado para un bebé de 6-9 meses que para uno de 12. Pienso también que todos esos despertares temprano por la mañana son una señal de que su sueño de día no está del todo bien.

Sé que por el momento están observando y que no están seguros aún del 2-1, pero sí pienso que deben decidir qué siesta acortar y empezar a hacerlo ya. Creo que eso ayudará a resolver temas tanto de la hora de ir a dormir como de los despertares nocturnos.

Aquí dos opciones de rutina que pueden probar...

1) Acortando la primera siesta
Despertar 9am
Siesta 1 12:30-1:10
Siesta 2  16:30-18:00
Acostarse 21:30/22:00

2) Acortando la segunda siesta
Despertar 9:00
Siesta 1 13:00-14:30
Siesta 2 18:30-19:10
Acostarse 21:30/22:00

Qué opinas?"

*******
Ana








Offline anto_nin

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #25 on: October 25, 2014, 23:05:40 pm »
Hola a todos. Traigo malas noticias otra vez.

A) Respondiendo a las preguntas de Laura y Katie:


Si deseas  que se quede en tu habitación, lo cual es completamente decisión de ustedes, pienso que  necesitan empezar a ser un poco más firmes al respecto de que sea ella quien busque y tome  el chupe para volverse a dormir.  Pueden incluso sólo hablarle desde la cama.  Puede tomar  tiempo al principio y es muy posible que ella se frustre, pero si sigues levantándote para  darle el chupe y el agua, es posible que se siga despertando para eso.  Algunas personas  ponen un vaso/taza entrenadora con agua en la cuna...¿qué te parece hacer algo  así?"

Siguiendo vuestros consejos, durante la pasada noche cuando se ponia de pie con el chupe  intenté hablarle desde la cama, le decia que se tumbara, que siguiera durmiendo. Cuando se  despertaba sin el chupe le decia que se lo buscara... no funcionaba, pero seguiré  intentandolo, es pronto aun. Yo hacia sonar el chupe y (yo) lo dejaba en el mismo sitio  donde estaba, luego lo cogia ella y se lo ponia. ¿Alguna idea para enseñarle a buscar su  chupe?

Lo de la jarra de agua entrenadora me parece buena idea, tenemos una, tambien se la puse en  su cuna. A ver si poco a poco la vamos enseñando a que cuando quiera agua solo tiene que  cogerla y beber.

Pienso  también que todos esos ¿¿¿despertares temprano por la mañana??? son una señal de que su  sueño de día no está del todo bien.

No entiendo a que se refiere eso: despertares temprano por la mañana.

Hemos seguido vuestro consejo y hoy sabado hemos empezado la rutina 1), es la que más se parece a la que teniamos:

1) Acortando la primera siesta
Despertar 9am
Siesta 1 12:30-1:10
Siesta 2  16:30-18:00
Acostarse 21:30/22:00

Más abajo os cuento el resultado.

B) Despertares nocturnos de la noche del viernes al sabado:

01:25  01:36 01:42 04:11 05:02 07:35 07:38
09:07 se despierta sola. Parece contenta.


C) Resultados sabado 25 octubre:

- siesta 1: (yo)

12:20 cuna. Juega.
12:35 se tumba y ya no se levanta. Tampoco he tenido que entrar ninguna vez.
13:15 la despierto yo. Parece cansada

- siesta 2: (yo)

16:27 cuna. Solo levanta un poco la cabeza y se vuelve a tumbar.
16:31 se duerme.
17:50 se despierta sola, la dejo 10min a ver si por ella seguiria durmiendo, parece que no  se pone a hablar y nos llama, entro at 18:02

Nota: despues de las dos siestas observamos que DD no esta descansada, se encuenta  irritable y mas demandante de lo normal.

- dormir de noche: (yo) aqui empieza lo malo.

21:42 la dejo en la cuna tumbada. Salgo pero levanta la cabeza y ve como atravieso la  puerta. Me llama, yo espero fuera... se calma y se tumba.

21:46 Lleva 4 minutos tumbada y creiamos que se estaba durmiendo. Pero no, se levanta y nos  llama, y pasa rapidamente a llanto "necesito ayuda". Primero esperamos, y dudo si entrar o no porque tras unos segundos se para ese llanto, pero a los pocos segundos vuelve a llorar "necesito ayuda" y se vuelve a parar, vuelve a llorar y decido entrar. (Pregunta, ¿debemos entrar al primer  llanto o esperamos un poco como he estado haciendo?).

Cuando entro deja de llorar, la invito a que se tumbe ella sola (palabras y palmaditas en colchon), no lo hace y la tengo que tumbar yo, y vuelve a llorar. Se levanta rapido, no consigo dejarla tumbada por lo menos  5segundos para poder salir de la habitacion, sigo intentando tumbarla y que se quede tumbada sin exito.

En una de las que se pone de pie, estando tranquila jugando con su chupe, decido salir (¿hice bien?), le digo que voy a salir, beso y "buenas noches". Me ve irme y antes de salir de la habitacion llora, no me paro y salgo de la habitacion. Llora más fuerte, pero se para a los pocos segundos, vuelve a llorar y entro.

Ayer no observaba apenas lagrimas, hoy sí, de hecho noto que en las sabanas hay algun fluido. Del llanto ha debido explursar mocos por la boca (parece que eran mocos y no vomitos). 

Esta muy desconsolada, decido quedarme a lado de la cuna hasta que se calme y este totalmente relajada (¿hice bien?). Para ello, tengo que insistir varias veces en tumbarla suavemente y ponerle las manos en la espalda para que se tranquilice (¿hice bien?), se queda tumbada unos 10segundos y decido salir de la habitacion (¿hice bien?). Se levanta y llora rapido otra vez, entro rapido, ya no espero a ver que pasa. Y decido no volver a salir casi hasta que se duerma. (¿hice bien?)

Tras otros cuantos intentos de tumbarla, consigo que se quede tumbada con una mano en su espada, mientras tanto le hablo "estas muy cansada, es la hora de dormir, puedes conseguirlo" pero me daba la sensacion (puede que esté equivocado)

Por favor, indiquenme que estoy haciendo mal y que estoy haciendo bien, estamos hecho un lio, estamos otra vez bloqueados y ya no sabemos como salir de esta espiral.



D) Otras preguntas:

Hay una cosa que no me quedó claro sobre la nueva rutina:
1) Acortando la primera siesta
Despertar 9am
Siesta 1 12:30-1:10
Siesta 2  16:30-18:00
Acostarse 21:30/22:00
¿tiene como objetivo final que se reduzca a una sola siesta? si es asi, ¿cuantos dias debemos estar haciendo esta nueva rutina? ¿y los sucesivos dias que horarios tendria?

Por otra parte, esta noche cambian la hora de verano a invierno, se atrasa una hora. Hemos pensado por tanto dejarla dormir 30min más durante 2 dias y al tercer dia otros 30 min para ajustarnos al nuevo horario de invierno. ¿como lo veis? ¿teneis alguna idea mejor?



En fin, otro dia duro y otro post largo... mañana sera otro dia... o quizas no.  :'(
Saludos a todos y no me canso de agradeceros vuestro esfuerzo. Muchisimas gracias!!!!!

Me he olvidado deciros que se acabo durmiendo a las 22:40.

Y os cuento los despertares nocturnos:

23:30 llora "necesito ayuda", yo aun no me había acostado, entre en la habitación, me vio y se tumbó, siguió durmiendo.

04:24 se puso de pie, yo desde la cama le dije "ponte chupe cariño" y "túmbate cariño". Sorprendentemente, lo hizo y se durmió
04:30 igual
05:50 igual
« Last Edit: October 26, 2014, 07:59:21 am by anto_nin »

Offline lauradj

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #26 on: October 27, 2014, 02:42:34 am »
I agree with Katie, it sounds to me like your DD is ready for the 2-1 transition.  It doesn't necessarily happen right away, it took a month to fully transition my DS from 2-1 but his day time naps improved and slept longer in the mornings.
Regarding the difficulties at bed time, I would recommend taking a loving but firm approach.  You don't need to try and entice her to lie down, do it for her.  If you're patting the mattress, she may thing you're playing a game.  My DS thinks it's hilarious if I pat his mattress because the sheet springs back up, I don't get it but he loves it!  If she starts to genuinely cry, go in, tell her "You're ok, you're just going to sleep because it's bed time.  Mommy/Daddy loves you.  Night night" or something to that effect.  Lay her down, if you must, give her head or cheek a loving stoke and repeat until she stays lying down.
Don't forget to try and hear whether it is a mantra cry (the tone stays pretty much the same and it's on and off), or an "I need you cry" (escalates in volume and frequency).  If it's just a mantra cry then I agree with you, she is likely using it to manipulate you into being concerned and coming in.
I know it's hard to see things clearly right now.  Try to write down each night so that you are able to see the progress, no matter how small, because I can see it.  There's just a few little kinks here and there and lots of patience and consistency.   


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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #27 on: October 27, 2014, 17:45:07 pm »
Hola Antonio, te traduzco rápidamente lo que dice Laura, para luego dedicarme a traducir tu post para ellas.

*********
Post de Laura:

"Estoy de acuerdo con Katie, suena a que tu hija está lista para la transición 2-1.  No necesariamente sucede de un día para otro, a mi hijo le tomó un mes entero hacer la transición, pero sus siestas de día mejoraron y dormía hasta más tarde en las mañanas.

Con respecto a las dificultades a la hora de ir a dormir por la noche, te recomendaría hacerlo de manera muy firme y amorosa a la vez.  No necesitas convencerla de que se acueste sola, puedes hacerlo por ella.  Si estás dando palmaditas en el colchón puede ser que ella lo esté interpretando como un juego. Mi hijo piensa que es comiquísimo si doy palmadas en el colchón porque las sábanas rebotan hacia arriba, no lo entiendo pero le encanta!  Si ella empieza a llorar genuinamente, entra, dile 'estás bien, sólo es hora de dormir, te amamos' o algo de ese estilo.  Acuéstala si es necesario, dale un beso o caricia y repite estos pasos hasta que se quede acostada.

Recuerda tratar de distinguir si su llanto es tipo 'mantra' (el tono es prácticamente el mismo y es un llanto intermitente), o si es del tipo 'te necesito' (éste escala en volumen y frecuencia).  Si es solamente un llanto mantra entonces estoy de acuerdo contigo, ella probablemente lo esté usando para 'hacerte' sentir preocupado y que entres.

Sé que es difícil ver las cosas con claridad en estos momentos.  Trata de escribir lo que sucede cada noche para que puedas ver los avances, sin importar qué tan pequeños, porque yo puedo verlos.  Lo que se necesita son simplemente algunos pequeños ajustes aquí y allá, y mucha paciencia y consistencia."

*********
Ana








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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #28 on: October 27, 2014, 18:31:13 pm »
Ladies, I translated Laura's response first so that Antonio has as much advice available as possible while I translated his latest post.

Here it goes:
********
"Hi everyone.  I have bad news again.

A) In response to Katie's and Laura's questions:

If you want her to stay in your room, which is totally your choice, I think you need to start being a bit more firm in having her retrieve her own paci and get herself back to sleep. You could even just talk to her from your bed. It may take awhile the first few times and she'll most likely be frustrated, but if you keep getting up to give it to her and also water, she will likely keep waking for that. Some people have put a sippy cup of water in the crib with their LO... how do you feel about that?

Following your advice, during last night's NWs, I tried to talk to her from my bed, telling her to lie down and continue sleeping.  When she woke without the paci, I told her to look for it...it didn't work, but I'll keep trying.  It's probably too soon to see progress. 
I made a little noise with the paci and left it in the exact same place, then she grabbed it and put it in her mouth.  Any ideas on how to help her learn to find the paci?

I also followed your advice regarding the sippy cup in the crib.  We'll try to teach her that whenever she's thirsty, she can just grab it and drink.

I also think all those early morning wakings are a sign that her daytime sleep isn't quite right.

What do you mean by 'early morning wakings'?

We've followed your advice and today (Saturday), we've started with routine 1 (short first nap), which is similar to what we were already doing.  I'll tell you how it is going in a moment.

B) NWs from Friday to Saturday
01:25  01:36 01:42 04:11 05:02 07:35 07:38
09:07 she wakes up by herself, she looks happy.

C) Saturday, October 25th:

- 1st nap: (me)

12:20 In the crib, she played.
12:35 She lied down and didn't get up.  I didn't need to go in at all.
13:15 I woke her, she looked tired.

- 2nd nap: (me)

16:27 In the crib, she lifted her head for a second but didn't stand up.
16:31 Asleep.
17:50 she woke up on her own, I left her there 10 more minutes in case she wanted to sleep a bit more but she didn't.  I came in to get her at 18:02.

After her two naps we noticed she wasn't well rested, she was irritable and more demanding than usual.

- Bedtime (me); problems began here.

21:42 She lied down.  I left but she saw me and called me.  I waited a bit outside, she settled and lied down again.
21:46 She'd been lying down for 4 minutes, we thought she was sleeping, but she got up and called us, her cries escalated quickly.  First I waited, I hesitated to go in because she had stopped crying, but then she cried 'I need you' again, she stopped, then cried again and I decided to go in.  Question: should we go in after the first cry or should we wait a bit, as I've been doing?

When she saw me she stopped crying, I asked her to lie down, (talking to her and patting the mattress), she didn't and I had to do it for her, and she cried again.  She got up real fast, I couldn't get her to stay down for more than 5 seconds so that I could leave the room. I kept trying and trying but it didn't work.

I decided to step out of the room once she was calm and playing with her paci (was this a good choice?), I told her I was going out, kissed her and said good night.  She saw me leave and before I could do it she cried again.  I still left the room.  She cried louder, but stopped after a bit.  She then cried again and I went back in.

Yesterday I couldn't find tears but today I did, I noticed some fluid on the sheets..it seems to me she spat something while crying.

She was inconsolable so I decided to stay next to the crib until she was calm and relaxed (was this correct?).  To do this, I had to lay her down several times and lay my hands on her back to help her calm down (is this the right thing to do?).  She lied down for about 10 seconds and I left the room (was this correct?).  She got up and cried right away, I went back in immediately, this time I didn't wait to see what was going on.  I decided to stay with her until she was almost asleep (is this right?).

Please, help me understand what we are doing right and what we are doing wrong, we're a mess, we're blocked and don't know how to improve this.

D) Other questions:
About this new routine (short first nap)

Is its final goal to end up with just one nap? If it is, how many days do we have to do this new routine?  And the next days after that, what would her routine/schedule be?

On another note, daylight saving time ends tonight, so we have to adjust our clocks one hour backward.  We've thought about letting her sleep 30 more minutes during the first 2 days and another 30 minutes on the 3rd day to adjust to the new time.  What do you think? Do you have any suggestion?

Anyway, another rough day and another long post...tomorrow will be another day...or maybe not =`(
Cheers to all and thank you again for your effort.  Thank you very much!!

Oh, I forgot to tell you, she finally fell asleep at 22:40

And about the NWs:

23:30 she cried 'I need help'. I wasn't in bed yet so I went in, she saw me, lied down and continued sleeping.
04:24 she stood up, I told her to get her paci and lie down and, surprisingly, she did and continued sleeping.
04:30 same
5:50 same

*********
Ana








Offline katie80

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Re: 12 months old. What do we do when you are doing pupd and she activates?
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2014, 04:16:24 am »
(((Hugs))), I actually don't think it looks as bad as you feel it was. I know the process is not fun, believe me, I do. But, she's getting herself to sleep and her NWs were actually less.

Any ideas on how to help her learn to find the paci?
It sounds like maybe she's getting the hang of it, but I guess I'd just point it out to her and tell her to get it. She's old enough to understand you. She may not do it right away and it may take awhile before she does (I had a couple 1-2hr NWs :o with my DS1 when I was weaning a NF prop and having him do all the work himself... lie down and get his lovey and go to sleep), but if she truly wants it and you're asking her to get it rather than doing it yourself, she will get it. Are there several in the crib with her?

I also think all those early morning wakings are a sign that her daytime sleep isn't quite right.

What do you mean by 'early morning wakings'?
I mean all the NWs she seems to have around 4-5am. Typically, those are a sign that something in the daytime routine is off... either she's napping too much (don't think this is the case for you) or the naps aren't 'apportioned' correctly (I think this is your issue).

As for how you handled bedtime, I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong. If she's going back and forth from giving a quick 'I need to cry' to quiet, I would probably leave her. It sounds like she may be trying to settle. If she escalates and stays that way, then definitely go in. For consistency's sake, as Laura noted in the post above, I think you do need to decide to either go in, lay her down, and then go back out (or stay and keep laying her down if she continues to be mad and then leave once she's settling) or go in and sit on her floor and have her lie down herself (in this case you would stay regardless until she's settled and asleep). I think it may be confusing to her to ask her to lie down first and then do it for her if she doesn't. Either way is fine, but I think it will be best to pick one and stick with it. I do think BT was probably a little too late on the example day you posted, so she was OT and had a harder time settling.

Is its final goal to end up with just one nap? If it is, how many days do we have to do this new routine?  And the next days after that, what would her routine/schedule be?
Yes, that's the final goal. I would stick with this routine for a good week or two, so she can settle into it and we can evaluate if it's working (i.e. she's settling more and more on her own and not having so many NWs). When she's ready for the next step (you'll know if she's not sleeping a full nap in the afternoon or it's taking her longer to fall asleep or she's waking early in the morning or taking too long to fall asleep at BT), you'll cut the morning nap to only 30min and eventually to 15/20min. Then, you will probably alternate some 1 and 2 nap days and eventually stick with one nap once she can stay awake 4.5-5hr and do a nice 2-3hr nap. The amount of time the whole transition takes is quite dependent on the LO.

Your plan for DST sounds fine to me... it's usually a gradual push to the new schedule and some LOs do better with it than others.

Hope the last couple days have gone better for you. Keep us posted!