He eat nothing at dinner, NOTHING!!!!

[lauradj]

DH and I are literally ready to tear our hair out!  DS (14.5 months) has never been a big eater, that's just how he is.  However the last week, dinner has gone steadily downhill.  We initially chalked it up to teething, so one night when he didn't eat his dinner, I gave him one of those food packs.  The last few nights he has refused all dinner, spits out whatever he does initially try and sweeps his food off his tray.  We're in the process of weaning him off his bedtime bottle and are down to 3 oz but I hesitate to get rid of it entirely at this point because if I do, the last thing he'll have to eat during the day is his 3 o'clock snack!
He eats what we eat, so I don't put very much salt in anything.  His snacks (x2) are healthy (fruit and crackers, half an avocado and some graham crackers etc.), and he eats three meals a day.   Should I get rid of the 3 o'clock snack for the time being?  We're very much of the "this is what is for dinner, eat it or go hungry" mind set.  We don't offer him anything at dinner other than his meal, no fruit/crackers etc.  We have been giving him milk with dinner but he seemed to be filling up on it instead of eating.  I was planning on giving it to him after he ate some dinner tonight but that never happened, so no milk.  If he starts to fuss/throw food around, we ask him if he's finished eating and 90% of the time he does our 'Finished' action (dusting hands off).  We wash off hands and face and he's dismissed from the table.  Tonight I gave him two chances to eat, as Tracy suggests and both were a total bust.
This is a typical eating day for T:

7am -WU, drink 6-7oz bottle (we'll wean this one after the bed time one)
7:30am- Breakfast: today was toast with PBJ, 2 tblsps full fat plain greek yogurt with a spurt of honey, raspberries
9:30 am - Snack: dry Cheerios, 6-7 pieces of fruit
11:45 - Lunch: Chicken salad sandwich cut into 8ths, he at 2 triangles which is pretty normal. 2 chopped prunes
3:00 - Snack: 4 graham crackers dipped in avocado (lightbulb moment!  That's a lot of graham crackers for T!)
5:30 - 'Dinner': Pasta Primevera (pesto, pasta, veg and chopped up chicken for protein) He used to LOVE this meal
6:45 - 3 oz bottle

  I should add he sometimes has poop issues.  Usually the prunes solve it but not today.  Tomorrow he'll get a teeny bit of olive oil in his morning bottle to move things along.  He hasn't pooped in 48 hours.  I love my little babe beyond measure.  He is a wonderful sleeper, is an Angel/Textbook baby and we've been very fortunate but the eating drives us crazy!!
Please either tell me a) I feel your pain and it sucks!, or b) give me something to try   

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Instead of getting rid of the snack can it be moved earlier? And made smaller too, but you obviously caught that one already . If not I would think about making supper a bit later if possible. Has he ever not eaten when constipated before?

[lauradj]

Sometimes.  DH and I have noticed he definitely eats less if he hasn't pooped in 36 hours.  I imagine he must feel pretty bunged up and I guess I wouldn't want to eat either if I felt that way.  I think I can make the snack smaller but I can't go much later for dinner, he's usually finished with about 30 minutes to spare and he is ready to pass out by bed time.

[ZacsMumme]

Not much help, but I just want to say my first has ever eaten much at tea...no matter what I did. (We adjusted mealtimes, what he ate when, offering different foods, different ways etc) He's wired to eat less as the day goes on if adjusting the day doesn't help then your lo may be like this too. In which case, worry less about the time of day and just focus on getting as much of a balanced diet into his day as possible.

My second is the opposite, he eats SO much between 4-6 and is looking for more food before bt at 2!

[*jazzberry*]

My dd doesnt eat tea either, her last food of the day is around 2pm .  So, I feel your oain but like pp said it is possible that it is just the way he is built. And dd is solid, no worry whatsoever about weight gain....

[creations]

It's not at all uncommon for LOs to take in more in the earlier part of the day and less as the day goes on.
My DS doesn't get constipated but he does tend to skip a day of poo about once per week and I tend to notice he can eat less if he hasn't pooed (and maybe it's approaching 1.5-2 days since poo).

I was actually going to suggest bringing dinner earlier if you can, mine will eat a decent amount if dinner is 4.30pm but would be past it if dinner was 5.30pm, it doesn't even relate directly to the snack amount or time, it just gets too late for him to eat as he is too tired by then.  I would also continue to offer the milk after dinner, make it in a different setting as a different 'meal' if necessary, but as it is his BT milk being moved earlier I wouldn't cut it out just because he didn't have dinner.  How about excuse him from the table after dinner then 20 or 30 min later he is invited to take his milk at the table or perhaps on the sofa?
(when I weaned the BT milk by switching to a supper snack and sippy of milk mine sometimes at no dinner but took his supper, and other times ate a huge dinner looked totally full and then took supper immediately after as though he hadn't eaten...funny things aren't they??)

If (like me) you rely on the evening meal for a balance to the diet (because I tend to cook different things for evening than I do for lunch) how about reserving a portion of dinner and serving up for lunch (or even breakfast) the following day? I often reserve just some veg for the next day.

[ZacsMumme]

Yeah I agree with earlier dinner. My boys eat the best if dinner is before 5pm, otherwise they're just too tired and over the day to eat well yk?

[jessmum46]

Was also going to suggest the same. Dinner has never been big in this house, main meal is lunchtime as she will eat much better then but almost no dinner will be eaten at all if its after 5pm. On nursery days J has tea at 3.30pm and a small snack at 5 when she gets home. No BT milk and happy to wait until breakfast next day. Just to reassure you a bit she has done that since about 12/13 months and never woken hungry x

[zeri]

DS won't eat if he is too tired, and dd just doesn't eat....so (hugs), it sucks and I feel your pain!

[lauradj]

Thanks for all the support ladies!  It's nice to know we're not alone in this conundrum!  We're going to try dinner at 5pm tonight and if he rejects it, again at 5:45pm. If both are no go's, we'll try 4:45 tomorrow.

[Erin M]

None of mine really ate dinner at that age either.  Frustrating!

[deb]

Many humans eat their biggest meals mid-day. Can you tank him up then, let him snack afternoon/evening if he seems OK with it? Protein, lots of good fats, vitamin supplements if you're worried about that, but otherwise see what happens? Time change will also change things up a bit while new schedule gets worked out.

I have one who doesn't eat breakfast....even at 9-1/2YO! Just isn't hungry before, say, 10AM. Used to be, probably will be again, but for now all I can do is work with it as much as I can.

[Katet]

FWIW DS2 only started eating an evening meal at 4yo - well enough to call an evening meal IMHO & even now at 9yo he really eats more earlier in the day than he does after 4pm.  I was talking to someone & they said as long as he wasn't asking for food in the middle of the night or needing milk he was getting enough calories in 24hours.

[lauradj]

HE ATE!!!!  Not a ton but he did consume food, mostly bread dipped in the chill with the occasional black bean or tiny shred of chicken strategically placed on top.  Hurray!!!  We'll be keeping dinner at 5pm for now to see if that's the ticket.  YAY!!!!  Thank you also to everyone who let me know this is totally normal and you've been going through it too.  It is most appreciated 

[ZacsMumme]