Champion sleeper no more :( 18 month old night sleep issues

[MarciaMSPT]

I posted this on the 18 month sleep regression thread but wanted so eyes and insights here too... hope that is ok...

I think we are slipping fast into this 18 month thing and right on time too! He'll be 18 months this week.  Started sorta hit and miss with EW and such but now, for the last two nights - multiple wakings during the night.  I haven't had this in so long, I'm not sure what to do... the first night I just picked him up and sat in the lazy boy till he fell asleep and then put him back down but doing this 4x in one night (sorry to complain) is not going to go well with this old mum.   Last night I got up twice but the second time I just slept with him in the chair for 4 hours and then put him down and went back to bed. 

I feel like I'm APOP but that's it more to just cope right now.  I fear OT setting in for my little guy and really have not had sleeping for so long just don't know what to do or where to start.  I don't see any more teeth yet so have that to look forward to too sooner or later. 

It's also winter here - my LO does not keep covers on so we dress him with a onsie, sweatshirt, sweatpants, socks and then a warm fleece bunting sort of thing.  I wondering if he is getting too warm?  But last night when I resorted to just sleeping with him in the chair he slept for 4 hours all cuddled in my arms with no sign of distress (had I put him down earlier though, he would have been awake crying about 1-2 hours later.

Our schedule is wake up (or get up) at 7am, nap at 1:30 to 3:00 (often capped) and BT at 8pm which doesn't always happen as far as falling asleep till 8:30pm

How long does this chaos usually last?  I read a recent post about 2-3 weeks? 

So, any thoughts on where I need to be starting?  Thanks!

[Truly Blessed]

Hello Honey,

Lots of (HUGS) the 18 month SR is a killer . I'm sorry to tell you but ours lasted a lot longer than 2 to 3 weeks, if I remember rightly it was more like 8 or 9  . It all depends on what is going on really. We had a speech/movement leap and teething all at the same time, so maybe that is why ours was so long. Because it can last some time, I will say this,  I'm not sure that you will be able to go the distance with the APOP you're using. I am a fan of APOP to get through regressions, IMHO it can be a necessary evil, when your LO needs you they need you. But IIWY I would try pulling it back to shushing with a back rub and try and avoid picking him up, IF you can. Just try and focus on what you can cope with in the long term, for the sake of yourself YK 

His routine looks good, if it suits him, I would just try and stick with it as closely as you can so his body clock stays in tact. Having said that, it is likely to go AWOL at which point you may need to make the call whether to get through each day as best you can by switching it up, or sticking as closely to routine as possible. I always found this a tough judgement to make, but usually ultimately I got myself in a mess and didn't know 'my a** from my elbow' when each day was different, and always reverted back to set routine.

I hope it doesn't last too long Sweetie, it's a really rubbish time of year for him to be going through this (not that there's ever a good time!!  )

x.

[MarciaMSPT]

Hi Sammysmammy... so good to get some words of advice, encouragement etc from you.

It was suggested yesterday that perhaps he was UT - for me the hope that this will end is in the challenge but if I have not a clue what to tweak, my sanity begins to ebb away. 

So, yesterday, I put him down about 1:40ish instead of the 1:20 that it's been for the last 2 months or so.  He went down a bit smoother but still crying but then settled.  I settled too!  AND slept!  Ahhhh...  Capped the nap at 3pm - and he went down like a charm last night at 8pm only to wake crying at 11pm - so I snuggled with him in the lazy boy rocker while we both tried to sleep.  I don't rock him though - wanting to limit the APOP to only what's necessary.  I put him in his crib at 4am-ish.  During our together time, while he slept, I noted that on three occasions he began wimpering as if dreaming and the broke out into a cry.  Because I was holding him I patted him (whereever my hand happened to be) and whispered that it was alright and that mommy was right here.  He instantly went back to sleep.  So, patting him might be an option whilst not picking him up, however, the shush-pat never worked for us so I had really just figured it would never work 

So, based on your suggestion and tweaking his schedule a tad (he is saying A LOT of words very clearly including three 3-4 words sentences in the last 4 days - blows my mind away when I hear something so clear come out of his mouth!  So maybe he is doing a language leap?)  I think I might put a sleeping pad in his room so that I can pat his back as soon as he wimpers - otherwise, by the time I awake in our room and get out of bed and get to his room, it seems almost too late for the pat but will try it tonight... (it will be closer to the wood stove anyway  so I'll be warmer although I'm way to old to be sleeping on the floor -but whatever works!).

Thanks for the tips.  I'm sticking to the routine (always have pretty much within a couple minutes either way) as closely as possible and today I chased him around a bit after lunch to work on the wearing him out before nap time.   I'll let you know how things go.  Thanks again!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi again

It was suggested yesterday that perhaps he was UT

Yes, I also wondered when I looked at his routine, because of the BT resistance, but the reason I didn't go down that road is that it can be very difficult to know whether it's routine related during this regressions, and sometimes you can end up tweaking unnecessarily, just something I have found IME.

WRT his routine I would be looking at keeping his day at 13 hours max and capping the nap, so something like this:

WU 7.00

Nap 1.45 until 2.00 capped

BT 8.00 (asleep by)

Maybe in the long run this might work for him. However I would maybe approach with caution right now, all that fabulous talking could wear him out, so it's your call really WRT the whimpering in the night, that could down to the talking too, with DS I found the same, his little head couldn't switch off even at night, and we had NW. Would you say he is low/average or high sleep needs

I think it's always worth starting out with minimal APOP and then increasing if necessary. Oh and I hear ya Sister! I'm way too old for sleeping on the floor myself  I became a Mammy at 39 and I feel it sometimes lol. Can you move the chair close to the crib to save your back 

Lots of (HUGS)

x.

[MarciaMSPT]

Hi Sammysmammy!

So, good news... Friday night (when I slept on the floor) he whimpered once for 3 seconds. Done.  Slept through the night.  I did end up picking him up after putting him down for BT after about 15 minutes of fussy crying and he immediately went to sleep so I put him back down.

Saturday night, slept in our bed - he woke up around midnight crying, I ran in to pat and shuush but it was already all over, I picked him up and brought him out to the chair determined to that at his first sign of wanting his bed (arching back, head back and arm out as if pointing to his room) that I would put him down - saw this 5 minutes later and put him down - no problem, slept the rest of the night.  10 minute fix!  Couldn't believe it. 

Nap was still later today -a bout 1:45 capped at 3pm and we will shoot for a sooner wind down to get him to sleep by 8 although my fingers will be crossed for that one.  He has always seemed to be on the low side of average for sleep needs. 

Also put some gel on his gums last night - appetite is waning and lots of drooling as of yesterday and today so thinking that some little snow caps are about ready to make their grand appearance!

I've got you beat, though, I'm 45 and the floor is likely still much nice to you than it is to me?!  OH well - who will remember it next year anyway??!!  

So, it looks like the only tweak we've done is his nap but I'm close to watch for his sleepy signs which are so subtle you need a magnifying glass to see them if at all!  I can't say I'm dismayed with the snuggles before sleeping as I've never had this before - he's always wanted his crib to sleep, so this is long awaited for although the APOP clouds my delight at times!

Thanks for your in put... will keep you posted.

[Truly Blessed]

Great update Hun, super progress! 

Okay so you came to Motherhood later than me lol, but I am 44 now, and my Husband is 52, how does that score for points!? 

Looking back over the thread, I hope you realised I meant cap at 3 and not 2 as written  Of course you did.

Nap 1.45 until 2.00 capped

 

Yes, keep me informed, I hope you all start to get lots of lovely sleep 

x.

[MarciaMSPT]

Hey Sammysmammy -

Cap at 3 instead of 2?!  What?!?!    Of course I did.  Thanks for clarifying though - never know when that would really throw one of us totally off our rocker!

So, yes, you get points... my hubby is 3 years younger than I so maybe not on the same boat but the next one over!

So, I think my little one is pulling out of this like a champion - I hope I don't have to eat my words!  He's sleeping through about every other night now and when I do need to pick him up for awhile - I can put him right back down after about 10-20 minutes of lazy boy time - much of which he is asleep but I'm just wanting to be sure!

I think I've decided that his night wakings are bad dreams - not night terrors as he calms as soon as I pick him up.  Not sure but I've seem to rule a lot of other things out.  Yes, we've got some teething ebb and flow going on too - just hoping it's all done by Feb 5 when we fly cross country - our first airplane trip with him...  of course, it will be something totally different then!

Never ending but always changing!  God sure knew how to keep things fun, well, at least different!

[Truly Blessed]

Cap at 3 instead of 2?!  What?!?!   

LOL you have my sense of humour

So pleased to read the great update!!! Yes, please Lord things are quiet on the western front for your flight, I don't think you need any extra challenges in that mix lol. Yup, the tweaking never ends  .

Happy New Year! 

x.