4s and What to do with OT baby

[Anika920]

I am not sure what sets off our days/weeks bad. Reading the routine sometimes I can't help but think I have to stop my life to do this method. Because otherwise it's inconsistent and he sleeps in other places when we are out and about and it's a mess starting over with self soothing. There are naps where LO will just not settle down. It starts with the swaddle and then the sitting he is screaming and crying his head off. It kills myself and DH he is not very fond of the technique and feels like we are not doing our best because LO just gets so worked up and we aren't doing everything we can to calm him. Just holding him doesn't do the trick quick enough. Then when we lay him down to shh/pat he gets so worked up again. Sometimes he even does a pain cry. We had been PU to recalm and shh/pat in our arms. It does not take anywhere near 15 mins most times it seems more like its 30 mins. When LO starts to drift off he wakes himself and according to Tracy that starts the 15 min cycle all over again right? We are guilt of letting him fall asleep on us. I have also done the 5s with some success. But, I kind of almost feel at a loss at this point with how under slept I think my LO is from trying to get him to sleep.

I feel like since I have found BW I have a question/problem daily!

[weaver]

We are guilt of letting him fall asleep on us.

He's only six weeks old, lovey.  Take it easy on yourselves.  I know he's on meds for reflux and that you've started dropping dairy from your diet to see if that helps.  It is very early days for all these things.  A baby his age with none of these issues would be doing incredibly well to be self-soothing in the crib.  Most of them spend a lot of time nodding off while feeding, it's completely normal.  It's perfectly usual within BW to hold a little baby until he's asleep and then put him down, the aim is to put them down 'drowsy but awake', but that's an aim.  And as I say at 6 weeks old, lots of babies just drop off 'when they're not supposed to' anyway.  It's not the end of the world if you hold him.  You might find it a good idea to try out a sling where you could hold him upright and have your hands free, at the same time.  It might help him catch up on that OT.


I think you need to reframe the whole approach to sleep for now.  The heart of BW is 'listening' to your baby, not following X routine or Z method.  These are only tools to help us tune in and assist babies in learning how to sleep.  So, hold him, walk him, sing to him, rub his back, do what he needs you to do to help him calm and relax, absolutely.  We'll be here to help

[Anika920]

Thank you I agree. I feel like I'm trying to do the best for him and only driving us both nuts. It's getting hard feeling like I am trying to do the best for him and failing him. We've decided if he wants to sleep he'll sleep. I just like the routine so I can feel like I will be able to actually know what he wants. But I think for now we need to get our own vibe and when he's ready hopefully I will be able to tell. Thanks for your support.

[ZacsMumme]

I still remember when Z was 6 weeks old and stopped sleeping and started screaming it was SO hard, and not just the crying but I didn't know what I was doing wrong, WHY was he crying, why wasn't he like my friends baby who slept, and fed, and pooped, cooed and slept.

Answer is, nothing is wrong that you can fix right now. All babies are so different and some (particularly touchy ones) will cry more, will struggle to sleep on their own and will be fussier than others. If there is some reflux starting then 6 weeks is when it commonly kicks off. There is a huge growth spurt too and they just 'wake up'

For now, as Anne says, do whatever works. Do what in your heart feels right and don't worry about routine. I would suggest if the crying is hard on you all that you try a pacifier. They can be really really good for touchy babies, babies that need to suck and reflux/colicky babies.

Definitely give the dairy free a go, make sure you cut all hidden dairy too. What meds is your LO on and have you tried colic calm, or other gripe waters at all?

Hugs, it's tough, but you will get through it, things do get easier x

[weaver]

Oh yes, don't know how touchy little LO1 wouldn't coped without his soother!  It really helped him to sleep.

Do keep A times in mind, as they will help you to help him, just don't feel bad about holding him, letting him nap in the swing or in a sling. When you find somethng that helps him sleep, do it, being OT will only make it worse for him as he'll get stressed.

[Anika920]

He is on reflux meds, though I am not sure he actually has reflux. I have a fast let down and I think that's what is causing his discomfort more than actual reflux. He's been on the meds for not yet a week, but the ped said it would take a couple days. Figured we'd see a difference by now. But I will keep it up. I haven't consistently tried the gripe water or gas drops I hate medicating him and the doctors all say that the gas relief is second to burping. Because all it does is collect the bubbles and they have to come out someway. When I did use it I would use it for 1 or 2 feedings a day don't know if I should've been using it every time. To really see a difference. I have been trying to work on my fast let down, as when I read, yes I'm one of those research parents, it seems like all of his ailments fit exactly from hindmilk foremilk imbalance and fast letdown. I think he's the grumpy type baby. We always joke around how serious and grumpy he looks, my little old soul.
I don't use a pacifier regularly, he seems hit and miss with them. And I figured at this age, it maybe a bad time to start. It seems to only encourage him rooting around like a mad man when we are trying to settle/sit.
Funny thing, he isn't sleeping in the swing. He sometimes gets soothed, but still won't sleep. He likes to be on us. I'm hoping he's maybe just a little cold and as the weather warms he'll stay warmer. We keep the house at the recommend temp and he doesn't feel cold but the different levels on our house do vary. And I think he just loves the embodiment of warmth.

[weaver]

Have you heard of the "Fourth Trimester"?   Another one for your research parenting nothing wrong with that by the way.   If he's only happy on you, then I cannot recommend trying a sling strongly enough.  It'll save you and him a lot of heart ache. 

For your overactive let-down have you read up on this?  And you know about block feeding?  I would recommend that you post on the Breast Feeding board and get some folks who've dealt with OALD to help you on there.
Oversupply and Overactive (Forceful) Let-Down

[ZacsMumme]

Nothing wrong with a paci at 6 weeks, some babies really benefit from them while others couldn't care less

Agree it's with posting on the BF board the ladies there have lots of knowledge.

You need to give reflux meds a good 10 days to see a marked change.

Hugs

[*Liz*]

My DS is 14 weeks now and often sleeps on me. Another little refluxer  . As he gets older I notice he is sleeping on me less and less (indeed he is currently next to me in his crib and that is where he has been for the last 1.5hrs..... If I went back 4 weeks he would have been on my chest after busting his sleep at 20mins in the crib).

I would rather he gets the sleep he needs than spend all day fighting for IS. They honestly do mature and become easier to deal with as they get to 3 mths plus.

My DS is very intermittent with his soother as well, but he is tricky sleeper, so really anything that helps sometimes is worth having at this stage. He is funny with his swing as well - likes sitting in it but again it isn't the magic sleep answer often.

Using my wrap is my main prop for a very bad day.

If you really can't relax on the IS thing - then one crib nap a day. Just one where you focus on getting a proper nap in the crib. It sets up the skills for later on, but you don't end up with a hideously OT baby and don't drive yourself crazy.

I have so many friends whose babies sleep from day 1.... But equally I have 3 myself and all of mine have been the same. I guess DD was the fastest to catch on.... But she was a tummy sleeper and I think that is easier really as you don't deal with all the jolts and flailing about. DS2 hates being on his tummy though, and given he is prem I don't feel as comfortable with it this time.