Undo APOP for 21.5 month old

[MarciaMSPT]

I started APOP back at the 18 month sleep regression and all though it has waxed and waned, I've never been able to really stop the holding to sleep now.  Naps seem a bit better but NT can take awhile.  sometimes 30 minutes.  Our EASY looks like this:

7 up
7:30 eat
10ish snack
12ish eat
1:30 nap
3:00 up (I wake up to preserve BT at 8 - or at least try to preserve it).
3:00 snack
5:15ish eat
6:30 bath
7:15 family worship time
8:00 BT (can take up to 30+ minutes for a wind down)

Maybe my EASY needs tweaked - I fear I am holding onto a long a nap as possible for ME instead of giving him what he needs - which may be less sleep. 
We've had EW on and off and my DS is now asking for everything at bedtime - food, water, songs, story etc etc.  To avoid the crying, I just hold him, give him water, some grapes if I think he's really needing some food and just sing to him until he falls asleep.

How do I go about bringing back his Independent sleep?  Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!

[Buttonbobs]

If he's been on this routine with a 1.5 hour nap for a while, BT resistance can definitely be a sign that something needs to change, like perhaps capping the nap a little more. I think falling asleep independently is always harder when LOs are UT so it is worth trying to get the pattern of day vs night sleep right at this age.

[MarciaMSPT]

Would you suggest a 15 minute cap or 30 minute cap... going from 1.5 hours to 1 hour seems like a big jump but needing some advice... thanks!

[Buttonbobs]

I would probably try for 1 hour, but if you feel more comfortable with 1hr15 then give that a go for a few days to a week and see how you get on.

[MarciaMSPT]

Also - would it be better for me to simply extend his wake time since naps are a bit rough too going down?  Or simply allow a shorter nap?  Thanks

[Buttonbobs]

I would try a shorter nap first and try and keep BT at around the same time to begin with, after a week we can always look and see how this is helping

[MarciaMSPT]

OK... thanks so much! I think we are getting 2 year molars as well... fussy eating, rough night wakings... two per night for the past three nights.   He went down early today 1 instead of 1:30 so will see what 2:30 holds.  wish me luck.

[Buttonbobs]

Good luck lovely if you think he's uncomfortable with the teeth, it can make routine change difficult (as it's hard to know what is the routine and what is the teeth), but if you are able to keep him comfortable with meds or other methods then you should be fine.

N x

[MarciaMSPT]

I'm not sure, like you said what's routine and whats teeth and really, what's developmental leaps at this point! 

I couldn't wake him up at 2:30 a couple days ago like I said - he just would not wake up...so I let him sleep till 3.  He was a new little guy that afternoon, slept through the night that night although he didn't fall asleep till 9 on my lap. 

Due to circumstances, he only got a 45 min nap in the car yesterday and had an awful time falling asleep, up twice in the night... only slept in about 30 extra minutes this morning... hum...  he may just need more day sleep and less night sleep - oh how I hate to give up a decent BT.   

He's also started a little routine at bedtime that goes like this:  eat? food? milk? book? story? down? dadda? and on and on.  I was giving him food last week when he asked for it because he and I had both been so sick and not much of an appetite... but not sure if that is causing tummy upset at night - if it's just a habit to push BT later or if he really needs it.  Any thoughts?

[Buttonbobs]

I know how you feel, my DD definitely preferred keeping a long nap and went quite late with BT before she shifted and cut the nap finally.

Are you medicating for possible teething? If you're trying paracetamol equivalents might be worth trying ibuprofen as this works much better for the teething pressure that teething can cause.

[MarciaMSPT]

Well, at least it's good to know I"m not alone with this!  I'll try to cut his nap about 15 minutes this week and see how things go.  And start BT wind down earlier.

I'm really not convinced it's teething at this point.  when he wakes up crying, he's not got his fingers in his mouth and stops crying the moment I pick him up... but I've got ibuprofen ready and waiting for when he needs it.  so many variables... did I lose the instruction booklet for him?! 

[Buttonbobs]

Did you have an instruction booklet - wow!!! Where did you get it, I want one xxx

[MarciaMSPT]

Well, after 1 hr 15 min sleep yesterday for nap, I thought for sure we would have a miraculous night, but not so... wakes 2.5 hours after I put him down.  I hold him for an hour and then put him down again and then he wakes up 2-2.5 hours later.  I thought for sure he was just too hot last night but he is just resisting going down for his nap ferociously now.  We've jumped from about 1:30 now to 1:50.  I wish I could just still put him down at 1:30 and cut him short instead of waiting longer...  still cutting it off by 3pm at this point.  Is this normal to start the 1-0 transition so young?

[Buttonbobs]

It is perfectly normal, I know are others here who have LOs who have dropped the nap sooner than that. Has he always been LSN?

What have you been trying, could you write it in EAS Format for me, it's slightly easier to see what's going on.

[MarciaMSPT]

well, I think I'm just starting to surrender to a shorter nap for him instead of thinking it's teething or sickness or or or...

Wakes at 7 (lately 7:30 since rough nights wakes 2x in the night)
eats 7:30
10 snack
nap 1:45 (almost two today due to resistance)
snack 3 or 3:30
supper 5:30ish
BT 8 - but often not till 8:30ish falling asleep.

He slept one hour today and has been very happy all afternoon!!!  Really?!?!?!  So used to a fussy baby all afternoon.  Maybe he's fussy because he has too much sleep?  Thanks for your thoughtful help and time to consider my questions.