Author Topic: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!  (Read 4087 times)

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Offline Henna20

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at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« on: February 03, 2017, 05:30:01 am »
My baby is 10.5 months old and I need help to figure out what would be her appropriate awake times and how long her naps should be.  She takes a very long time to settle down for naps and then only sleeps for a short amount of time.
Today she woke up 7:45am. Took a 45 min nap and a 30 min nap and finally just fell asleep at 9:45. The amount of daytime sleep and nighttime sleep she is supposed to be getting is not adding up.  How do I tweak her schedule so that she can fall asleep easily and get proper naps?

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2017, 11:31:18 am »
Hi there
Is your LO an independent sleeper? If so for how long please?  If not,  how do you usually settle her for sleep?

Can you post your EAS times please so I can have a look at the whole day?

This is a common age for sleep to go off track as A times increase and LO start to make the transition towards 1 nap.  It can take a while and you might find one long and one short nap will be a suitable routine for a while.  Here are some links:
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!


Offline Henna20

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2017, 04:49:48 am »
so this was her times on Friday:
A 730am
S by 1040am (very tired first awake time, she fell asleep so fast, really had to push to keep her awake for a full 3 hrs)
A 115pm
Tried for a nap 440-530, no go
Kept her pretty calm and relaxed play inside - she was veryyy tired
Bedtime 745, sleeping by 8
woke up every 2 hours in the night

Saturday:
                       
bay: Not sure if 545-630 was an awake time, she was in her crib the whole time and I kept trying to resettle, finally she did at 630                       
A 10 am
Tried for a nap 140-230
Tried for a nap 440-530
Bedtime 930 (later than planned cuz we were not home.) Fell asleep within 10min for sure.  Just unsettled cuz of cough
 She was certainly tired today, just Did not. Fall.asleep. maybe for 5 min during first nap attempt. But woken up by coughing



But the other day (weds?) She took a 1 hr or less nap that I tried to extend, went to sleep 615pm and slept til 8pm, I tried to keep her sleeping but did not work bt kept it dark, calm, etc and she fell back asleep at 1030 and didn't wake up til 4am!

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2017, 09:35:32 am »
Did you have a look at the 2-1 FAQ?
Are you aiming for a short morning nap and long afternoon nap?


Offline Henna20

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2017, 14:31:27 pm »
My only aim is that she falls asleep easily and take good naps. I am happy to do whatever the best thing is

Offline Henna20

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2017, 18:30:18 pm »
So this was yesterday:
Today:
A 815am
S 1130am
A 1pm
    445- 520 nap attempt-did not sleep
Took abt 35 min from going into room at 745 til sleeping by 820
S 820pm

then during the night she woke up only at 12 and at 6! Finally a good night! And now just woke her up at 830am!

This morning so far:
A 8:30am
S 11:40am (in bed at 11:35am)
So definitely her first nap she needs to be in bed by 3hrs

But what do I do about the second nap? and then if she doesn't take a second nap then what should her bedtime be?


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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2017, 21:36:30 pm »
In your first post it looked like she was short napping in the morning, is that right?
and in the following EASY routines it looks like morning naps of 2hr 35 and 1hr 30, is that right?

Is your LO an independent sleeper?

But what do I do about the second nap? and then if she doesn't take a second nap then what should her bedtime be?
if there is total nap refusal for the afternoon nap I would put her to bed as early as you dare.  The second A time ends up super long without an early BT and over time this can cause some OT which disturbs the night or could cause EW.  Some LOs seem to do well with this though, it really depends on the individual.
I would try to get her to bed with something like a 5-6hr second A time max really.


Offline Henna20

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2017, 23:57:48 pm »
we are still working on independent sleep. 

so today she ended up taking an afternoon nap
A 8:30am
S 11:40am
A 1:25pm
put her down at 4:45pm put only fell asleep at 5:35pm
S 5:25pm

now what do i do?? i was totally not expecting her to fall asleep! i assume i should not let her sleep too long.  but how long should i let her sleep for and then when do i attempt bedtime?

thank you so so much for your help!!!! its so nice to have someone who I can ask these questions to

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2017, 02:45:16 am »
So this was today:

A 8:30am
S 11:40am
A 1:25pm
put her down at 4:45pm put only fell asleep at 5:35pm
S 5:25pm
A 5:50pm (i woke her up after 20 min)
starting putting her to sleep at 8:30pm but she only finally fell asleep at 9:30pm
S 9:30

so thats 2 hrs.of sleep and a 13 hr day total.

i'm still confused what time to put her down for afternoon nap and then if she does sleep what time to put her down for night sleep.  its taking her a long time to fall asleep for night sleep but i do think we are making progress!!!!

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2017, 16:24:32 pm »
In your first post it looked like she was short napping in the morning, is that right?
and in the following EASY routines it looks like morning naps of 2hr 35 and 1hr 30, is that right?
Can you confirm these were the nap lengths?
and yesterday/today in the above EASY she slept the full time from 11.40am to 1.25pm so 1hr 45 min.  Is that right?

Did you manage to read the 2-1 FAQ linked above yet?  What were your thoughts?

It looks like you are now aiming for a long morning nap and a short afternoon nap. You might have more luck with a shorter second A time, say 3hrs from the end of her first nap.


Offline Henna20

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2017, 17:10:06 pm »
Hi! I read the FAQs and I understand the concept in generally, I mostly just need help with figuring out what the a times should be and when I should attempt to put her to sleep.  Things are definitely way better than they were a few weeks ago but of course things keep changing and I still need guidance.

Tuesday:
A 8:25am
S 12:05pm
A 1:45pm
S 5:55pm
A 6:10pm
In crib at 8:45pm
S 9:20pm

Wednesday:
A 8:30am
tried morning nap but she didn't fall asleep
S 2:35pm
A 4:15pm
S 8:40pm (took 45 min or so)

Thursday:
A 8:30am
tried to put her down for morning nap but she didn't fall asleep
S 2:35pm
A 4:15pm
S 8:40pm (took 45 min or so)

Friday:
A 8:30am
S 1:55pm
A 3:05pm
S 9:00pm (approx. It def took her a long time to fall asleep)

Saturday:
A 8:00am
S 11:05am
A 12:50pm
S 4:55pm
A 5:30pm (woke her up)
S put her down at 9

So far today:
A 7:00am
attempted nap at 10:00am.  she chatting away in her crib for 45 min and then I took her out at 10:45am.
What should the rest of the day look like?
Is 3 hr awake time in the morning too short? If she doesn't take a am nap then what time should I put her to sleep for second nap?

THANK YOU!!!!!

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2017, 19:08:21 pm »
Sorry Henna, I am finding it very difficult to advise you. I have asked several questions to clarify your routine and without the answers to these, plus some additional information about the recent EASY times you have posted I'm afraid I am in the dark and cannot make any suggestions.

I am totally lost as to when you are trying for the morning nap - it looked like you were going for a 3hr or 3hr 10 A time but then move up to 3hr 30 A time, and then on a couple of days you say you tried for a morning nap but she didn't sleep - what time was this?  How long did you try for and, sorry, I'm not clear on why the nap then ended up being 2.35pm which is significantly later than I would have expected with a 6 hr A time - what happened?

The following day the nap comes at 5.5hr A time - again I am not sure why.  Did you intentionally jump from 3hr/3hr 30 A time up to 5hr 30??
Also the BT is super late on that day too. So one nap only and LO going to bed at 9pm.

The next day you are back to napping at only 3hr A time.

Honey I am lost.  Really I am looking over your times and trying to work out what is happening and what might be needed but without further information I am afraid I just can't. I'm not there to see how your Lo is responding or to see why an A time extends from 3hr to 5.5hr over night, or why BT is so late. I only have these times to go by.

Could you also tell me how you settle her down to sleep and if she is sleeping in her cot, or where? - as you said she is not yet an independent sleeper.

FWIW it looked like a 3.5hr A time was giving a decent first nap.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2017, 19:32:46 pm by creations »


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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2017, 21:22:57 pm »
It would definitely help to know the answers to the questions Creations asked about how she settles to sleep and such.

I'd forget about how much sleep she is supposed to be having, those are just averages and every baby is different. I'd look at what she seems to want to do right now. Her bedtimes seems really late but actually if you think about the fact she isn't getting up until 8.30 or so many morning a 9.30 BT means she having an 11hr night which is great for this stage of the 2-1 ☺

This is a normal stage for LOs to go through during which they can't actually make it to one long nap in the middle of the day but that morning nap isn't leaving her quite tired enough to sleep again every day. Rather than look solely at the A times I'd follow her cues.  Does she give tired cues at any time?

Also, how is she eating? Is she taking in much solid foods? And what milk feeds does she have?
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2017, 18:46:40 pm »
I"m so sorry I didn't answer the questions that you need.  Totally mommy brain here.

Quote (selected)
Sorry Henna, I am finding it very difficult to advise you. I have asked several questions to clarify your routine and without the answers to these, plus some additional information about the recent EASY times you have posted I'm afraid I am in the dark and cannot make any suggestions.

I am totally lost as to when you are trying for the morning nap - it looked like you were going for a 3hr or 3hr 10 A time but then move up to 3hr 30 A time, and then on a couple of days you say you tried for a morning nap but she didn't sleep - what time was this?  How long did you try for and, sorry, I'm not clear on why the nap then ended up being 2.35pm which is significantly later than I would have expected with a 6 hr A time - what happened?
so basically i was starting with a 3 hour awake time for morning nap and that seemed to be working but then she started not falling asleep easily so i thought maybe she needs a longer awake time.  the times that i tried the morning nap and she didn't nap was around 3 hrs.  i'm not sure what happened on the day her nap was 2.35pm...

Quote (selected)
The following day the nap comes at 5.5hr A time - again I am not sure why.  Did you intentionally jump from 3hr/3hr 30 A time up to 5hr 30??
Also the BT is super late on that day too. So one nap only and LO going to bed at 9pm.
I didn't intentionally jump for 5 hr 30 min awake, she wasn't falling asleep for her nap.  I think for next time i need to write down what time i put her down and how long she took to fall asleep or how long she was in her crib for without sleeping.  i think that might help give you more information.

Quote (selected)
The next day you are back to napping at only 3hr A time.

Honey I am lost.  Really I am looking over your times and trying to work out what is happening and what might be needed but without further information I am afraid I just can't. I'm not there to see how your Lo is responding or to see why an A time extends from 3hr to 5.5hr over night, or why BT is so late. I only have these times to go by.
bedtime is so late because sometimes she wakes up late.  Its been about 3 weeks now of me trying to get her on a better routine so i started waking her up latest at 8:30am if she is not up on her own.  so if she wakes up at 8:30am and then has a 13 hour day then bedtime would be 9:30pm which is late as it is but then it also takes her such a long time to fall asleep that it is super late by the time she is actually sleeping

Quote (selected)
Could you also tell me how you settle her down to sleep and if she is sleeping in her cot, or where? - as you said she is not yet an independent sleeper.
so how she settles: we go into her room, lights are dim, read a book and then i put her in her crib.  She plays or relaxes in crib. If she cries,  I mantra "baby its ok you are just going to sleep"  until she calms down.  And/or offer her milk. We recently transitioned from nursing to bottles and she needs every ounce of milk that she gets and sometimes if she is crying i will give her milk and then she will go to sleep.  i'm not picking her up anymore and mostly not rubbing her back.  just using the mantra to calm her down.

Quote (selected)
"Does she give tired cues at any time?"
yes she does give tired cues.  the biggest problem is that she will give tired cues but then still take a long time to fall asleep.

Quote (selected)
"Also, how is she eating? Is she taking in much solid foods? And what milk feeds does she have?"
Milk is bottles before bed/naps and 1-2x in the night. She is offered solids through out the day,  3ish meals and snacks, but her in take is different each day

I really hope this is helpful and that I answered the questions.  I'm sorry if i wasn't answering them before.


yesterday:
woke up, 7:30 or 7:40 maybe.
Put her down for nap at 11:55am, sleeping by 12:05pm.  She woke up at 12:50pm and I resettled her until 12:55pm.                     
It was definitely long awake time for her but i wasn't sure what time to put her down and i didn't want to put her down too early and have her skip her nap.  I wanted to wait at least 4 hours                       
And I resettled w Mantra and patting cuz its worth getting her a long nap.
She slept til almost 2 so another hr
so nap was from 12:05pm-1:55pm.
Bedtime: I put her in maybe 7:30pm and since then she was happy/playing, finally at 8:15pm decided to go In and see if more.milk could help her settle, and discovered she made a major poop. changed her diaper and pjs and she had a couple more oz.  took her a long time to fall asleep though. she was finally asleep by 9:20pm.  She had a lot of.milk tonight, like 9 oz or
« Last Edit: February 15, 2017, 08:20:27 am by creations »

Offline Henna20

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2017, 18:48:31 pm »
oh no i tried to copy and paste the questions and put them in italics and then have my answers be regular font but now i see that the whole thing is in italics. i'm so sorry :-(

Offline Lindsay27

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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2017, 02:42:00 am »
If you highlight the section you want to respond to and hit the "quote" button on the right hand side, it will automatically pop the selection into your reply and all you have to to is respond on the next line underneath :)



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Re: at my wits end with baby schedule-pls help!
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2017, 08:40:03 am »
Henna, I've gone into your previous post and put quotes around the questions from myself and Ali. This makes it easier for us to see your answers.  As Lindsay has helpfully described, there is a "quote" button - it can take a little while to get used to it. Don't worry :)

I don't have a lot of time this morning to have a good look but Ali may be back or Lindsay may have some pointers.

As a quick response and a rough guide I'd suggest a 4hr A time for nap 1 and a short nap 2
WU 8.30
A 4hr
nap 12.30 - 2.00
3hr (or 3.5)
nap 5 - 5.30 (or 5.30 - 6)
A 3-4hrs
BT 8.30/9.30

And that if she refuses a nap you bring BT significantly earlier - whilst I can see you do not want it too early in general because she is waking late in the morning to the whole routine is just a later one, when a nap is skipped she will need EBT (early bed time).

Feeding just before sleep and not yet being an independent sleeper can impact on routines. This may be one of the reasons she wakes mid nap and needs help to resettle and not have so much to do with A times.  A time and nap times are not a "fix all" and you could have the perfect A time and LO will still wake because she is unable to self settle or transition from one sleep cycle to another alone.

For feeds - are the bottles formula or breast milk?  I wouldn't think she needs those night feeds and they are likely impacting on her appetite during the day for solid food.  Relying on milk to calm for sleep can also impact on LOs appetite.  I would expect those night feeds to be dropped now and this/next month a move towards more focus on solids rather than milk - perhaps reducing the day time milks to 2 or 3 bottles.