Cutting day sleep?

[Mum2lucy]

Hi

I had another post about the 18 month sr but I am starting this one as I didn't get a reply on the other one and I wonder if my issue has now changed?

Was def in 18 sr as lg was fighting naps and taking short naps. She is still fighting naps and I haven't been able to get back on a consistent routine but when I do eventually get her to nap she is back to napping for a while.

However I'm now getting real bedtime dramas. She would normally self settle with dummy by chilling out in her cot for 20-30 mins but I'm getting dummy throwing, shouting, crying. I didn't know if it was the sr moving from nap to bt but she is 20 months now so surely she'd be past it?

Last two days have been:

Wu: 7
S: 12.45 - 2.25
Bt: 7.40, sleep 8.10 had to shhh to sleep after 30 mins of crying and dummy throwing

Wu: 6.50
S: 13.00 - 14.45 (30 mins of nap refusal before she eventually dropped off, woke at 40 mins and shhh back to sleep)
Bt 7.30, crying, dummy throwing, shhh to sleep at 20.10

Do you think I need to cap her nap? I can't get her to nap at a consistent time so I have been moving bt depending on wu.

Can anyone help me? Thank you x

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, sorry you didn't get a reply on the last thread.

At 20 months I'd guess the sr had passed but there could still be developmental stuff going on.

With DS1 I did set nap and Bt at this age regardless of WU and nap length, maybe you could pick a nap time of say 1pm and BT of 7.45pm if she's waking around 6.30/7pm a 13 hour day could be appropriate. I recall us having 14 hour days when we getting towards 2 before we started nap capping.

Your day in theory doesn't look bad for her age but you could always shave 15 mins off nap and see if it makes a difference?

[Mum2lucy]

Thanks for your reply 

Yes I'm thinking I should stick to a set bedtime. I get a bit worried about her getting ot/being ut depending on nap with a set bt but hopefully she'd get used to it. The problem comes from 3 days of nursery a week where she won't sleep well (the nap there is at 11.45 and I let them do as they see fit as she doesn't nap well there). On the days she does 40 mins there, I fear that 7.45 would be far to late. Often on a nursery day, bt is 6.30 and she falls asleep quickly. I think I would prob have to continue with a nursery / non nursery schedule.

When you say 7.45 bt do you mean into bed then or asleep by then? x

[Haribo2012]

I know we have same issues on nursery days.

I'd say if she's waking generally about 6.30/7 with a 1.5 hour nap asleep by 7.45? You can move the nap/bt by 15 mins if you feel the need some days x

[Mum2lucy]

Hiya,

A wee update

I have been doing a nap of 12.30 usually asleep by 12.45 but she keeps only sleeping for 50 mins, wakes up, crying like mad and won't go back to sleep. Do you think that it's ut? it seems unusual to sleep for 50mins!

I know a set bedtime was suggested but I can't do it just now with her sleeping 50mins. It would be 1.30 - 7.45 on a 50 mins sleep. I've been doing this on a 50 mins sleep

Wu 6.00-6.45
S: 12.30/12.45 - 1.30/1.45
Bt, 6.30 crying until sleep which has been about 7

Xx

[Haribo2012]

How's the night any wake up? 50 mins for us is often discomfort or OT bizarrely x

[Mum2lucy]

She has been waking once a night night crying and wont self settle. She was awake about 9.05 - 9.20 last night. It's not horrendous but she normally Sttn.

Today we had a really active morning so I would be surprised if she was under tired for a nap on wu 6.45-12.40?

I feel so helpless with her bedtime crying 

[Haribo2012]

I'd guess that was OT then, oh bless you it's so hard when you can't figure out what's going on.

Maybe bring nap 15 mins earlier see of it helps combat ot x

[Mum2lucy]

Today we managed this with no bedtime crying:

Wu: 6.05 but quiet again until 6.55 so think she went back to sleep.

Put down for her nap at 12.40 but wouldn't sleep in cot (throwing dummy, shouting, crying)
Gave up at 1.05 and put her in buggy. Asleep within one min so was def tired!

S: 1.13 - 2.50 (only woke as I stopped walking)
Bt: 7.30 sleep: 7.55 with no tears.

So it would look like the dummy throwing / crying at night was maybe ot?

[Haribo2012]

Looks like it and maybe UT at nap time?

[Mum2lucy]

Yeah but unfortunately we've had crying every night since. She is totally fine until we put her into her bed. It's lights out and instantly she starts crying. my oh wants to leave her to cry as he feels she is beginning to 'play' us but i can't do that so I have been having to shhhh her to sleep.

I've been sticking to set into cot time of 7.15 but it doesn't seem to be helping although I know it takes time to settle down.

Last few days have been:
Wu: 6.40
S: 12.40 - 2.25
Bt: 7.10, did cry but went in and settled her and she then went to sleep 7.32

Wu: 6.35
S: 12.50 - 2.25
Bt: 7.20, cried and cried had to shhhh sleep 7.50

Wu: 6.20
S: 12.25 - 13.45
Bt: 7, cried until I stayed in room and she eventually fell asleep 7.40

Any thoughts? I am getting really annoyed with her as I know she can normally self settle and I feel like I'm not getting it right for her but my husband says I shouldn't try to figure it out as she is just being a toddler ha! He isn't the one who puts her to bed I may add 

[Haribo2012]

Could you perhaps try walk in walk out or gradual withdrawal.

I don't think your doing too bad on average it's taking 30 mins for her to settle which isn't too long, she maybe just needs you at the min.
I know it's a pain but she won't be little forever 

[Mum2lucy]

I had been doing walk in and walk out but she doesn't really like it. It makes her so upset each time I leave so I am more towards gradual withdrawal. Right now she is standing up if I'm not right beside the cot.

Yeah I just need to keep reminding myself she's only wee and hopefully it'll pass soon.

I'll update in a few days and see where I am at with it all xx

[Haribo2012]

Sounds like a plan just stay sat where she can see you and every couple of days move a little further.

My first needed GW my 2nd is a leave and return little man xx

[Mum2lucy]

Tonight my husband decided to do walk in walk out with her to see if it would work better with her if it wasn't me and so far she has screamed for 20 mins shouting mummy... it's going well