Author Topic: How to teach an 8 month old self settling??  (Read 1632 times)

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Offline Laineybobs

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How to teach an 8 month old self settling??
« on: March 15, 2017, 11:21:48 am »
Hello, looking for some advice on how to help my 8 month old self settle! I maybe stupidly thought as he got older he would show signs that he was ready and able to but he isn't and we can't keep going way we are as I'm due back to work soon. He will be with others who will need to be able to settle him and so far can't!

He is on a pretty good easy although we are battling half 5 wake ups - he had been doing one wake a night - sometimes 1am, sometimes 3, sometimes going through until 530 and I would just feed then but I think a combination of teething, a cold and starting crawling has put that wrong! Now it can be two or three times a night though I don't feed if I don't think it's hunger and he will usually settle for hubby after a fight.

His easy looks something like this:
Wake 530 but we keep trying to settle him until 630 when we start our day;
E 630 BF
A solids at 745/8
S 930/945 - BF til drowsy;  will sometimes get 2 hours straight out of him, most of the time though we have a wake after 30 mins when I have too settle him by rocking but he does go back;
Y

E solids at 12/1230
A BF at 2/330
S sometimes BF to sleep around 3/330 for 30/40 mins
Y

E dinner at 5
A bath and books
S BF at 645 til Drowsy or asleep - try to have in bed between 7 and 730;

Then as I said wakes are erratic and can be once or up to three times a night! I feel he's using feeding to get himself back to sleep rather than self settling? And I don't know where to start! I'm wanting to start dropping some of the daytime BF too as I feel he uses them as comfort and prob doesn't need them as he eats well and has plenty water? And with going back to work he will only be on morn and pre bed/night feeds then?

So how do I start? I know I should seperate and stop the feed to sleep! But how? Just go cold turkey? I did have some success in dropping some night feeds in past by reducing time on breast by a minute or two every few nights but he's wakes so inconsistent there's no patterns to follow?

He is EBF, no comforter thoigh not against them! Any suggestions please help!

Offline Buntybear

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Re: How to teach an 8 month old self settling??
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2017, 22:47:08 pm »
Hello - sorry you have not had any advice yet - I shall bump this now and I am sure someone will be along soon x

Offline jessmum46

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Re: How to teach an 8 month old self settling??
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2017, 20:05:57 pm »
Hi there :)

I think you are right that he probably is dependent on the breast for sleeping, but also his routine could probably do with a little bit of tweaking which may make things a bit easier for you.  Have I read it right that sometimes he doesn't get an afternoon nap?  Do you put him to bed earlier on those days?  At his age two naps would be usual for most babies, so if the afternoon nap os frequently being skipped or refused I would probably suggest to start shortening the morning nap to get him to take one in the afternoon. That might also help with the EWs - have a read of this: 10/11 month old sleep gone wonky? Read this first! (note I'm not suggesting dropping to one nap!  But this is the very very early beginnings of transition and shortening the morning nap may help get him well-rested).

Just to deal with the milk - at 8 months his primary source of nutrition should still really be milk, so you would probably want 4 daytime feeds as a minimum (usually WU, mid-morning, mid-afternoon and bedtime).  Obviously more is fine too :)  but if you are back to work soon you will need to think about how you are going to replace daytime feeds rather than just dropping them.  At this age 2 feeds only is unlikely to provide sufficient nutrition, regardless of how well he eats, and will potentially contribute to more wakings at night.  You could try introducing a bottle, but a sippy or straw cup can also work at this age with either expressed milk or formula.

In terms of separating eat and sleep, you could try something like the gentle removal plan if you prefer a slow/gentle approach - Gentle Removal Plan - or if you are more of a 'rip the plaster off' kind of person then PUPD would also be appropriate for this age - Pick Up/Put Down (PU/PD) - Everything you ever needed to know!  Is your husband willing/able to help with changing the sleep association?  It's often easier for someone other than a breastfeeding Mum to get LO settling in another way, though you can do it yourself if needs be :)

Let me know what you think x