How to stop "I go potty" stalling tactic at bed ti

[Carrie~Ryan~Adam]

(Cross-posted to Potty training)
UGH! DS (28 months) is pretty well potty trained. He always goes as part of his nap and bed time routine. However, he uses the potty as a stall tactic - and sometimes even goes again! He wears a pull up at naptime and diaper at bedtime, so it's OK if he doesn't get to the potty. But how can I encourage potty use without encouraging the stalling?

[alligirl]

Stephen tried this.....one night, he "needed" to go SIX times!  And all six times he WENT!  But after that, we decided to let him go after his bath and he could go once more after that, but that's it.  That's the rule, after his jammies are on, it's bed time.  Is your lo in underwear or diapers at night?  S is in diapers at night still (I'm so lazy :oops: ), so I don't worry about it, but he's gotten the idea and he's quit asking.

[Riverside6903]

My daughter who is 26 mos. is stalling using the classic "want water" and sometimes using the need to potty.  My approach has generally been this, once it's time for bed, it's time for bed.  She wears a diaper to bed and at naptime.  I ask her before we get into bed if she has to potty and if she says "no" then that's it.  She got the idea pretty quick that when mommy asks that's the only time and mommy isn't going to give in, (most of the time that is)   :wink:

[Wendy~]

UGH!  We are dealing with this too!  I was going to post a similar question.  Kate won't poop in her diaper anymore (but she wont' pee on the potty unless she goes while pooping :roll: ).. Which is great but she holds her poop all day now until it is bedtime and then we go back and forth from bed to potty for an hour at bedtime.  Last night I let her do it twice.  Then I wouldn't let her anymore, she'd already pooped and I figured if there was anymore she'd just have to do it in her diaper :oops: , I feel so mean, but I'm fed up with my whole evening being spent in and out of the bathroom and her bedroom.  We'll see what happens.

[Carrie~Ryan~Adam]

OK, so how do you enforce not going to the bathroom after "lights out"? Just ignore the "I go potty" yells? I think I'll also start putting him one last time right after stories, which is the last thing before lights out.

[Stacie:Emma&Josh Mom]

And what about when they poop in their diaper before falling asleep???  She'll say "poo poo" which is her word for using the potty, either one, and I haven't been taking her cause I know it's usually a stall.  Then 3 days in a row, she pooped in her diaper...  I hate letting her sleep in it as she'll get a rash, but I also don't like that she's waiting for her diaper to poop in and then messing up her nap.  When she says "poo poo", sometimes she means she already went, sometimes she means she needs to pee (which she could do in the diaper) and sometimes she's just stalling.  How do you figure out the difference or what to you do to try to encourage pooping at another time so you can ignore the calls and she can just pee in the diaper if she really has to?

[Cat]

This isn't really a reply to the question, rather, it's me agreeing with your problem.  I'm having a similar battle with my daughter who is almost three and a half years old.

It's not about the potty, though, it's about the stalling.  It's driving me CRAZY.

I have the bedtime routine, we do the bath, brush teeth, floss teeth, story, and turn out the lights.  She gets a sticker for each activity and then a "prize" for doing the routine for three nights straight.  (the prize is usually one of those coin-rides they have in front of the wal-mart).

Lately, I've noticed that she always wants one more thing.  "Wait, wait, mommy...." and then mumbles something incoherent. Or it's water, or potty, or a hug, or one more thing she has to tell me.  I always give her the warning, I tell her "OK, two more minutes and I'm leaving."  She keeps begging me to stay then I have to get firm with her.  

I don't yell but the tone of my voice definitely changes.  As soon as she hears that, she starts crying.  What happens then is she has a fit, runs to daddy, then calms down and makes nice with me and then I put her to bed.   It's just now our routine is being stretched out longer and longer.  I start at 7PM and by the time the whole ordeal is over, it's anywhere from 8:45 to 9PM.  My patience is wearing thin.

She didn't again tonight.  I just told her that I wasn't going to deal with her.  Of course I felt horrible, but I don't know what else to do!

[deb]

Ah, join the club. Josie's getting tricker with her requests lately. We had to stop any drinks after tooth brushing, which comes before shower, so now she drinks IN the shower (UGH - warm water :shock:).

THEN, it's "I'm going to read another book to you!" after the requisite 3 books (2 if one is a "big" book, like Dr. Seuss). She wants to get into a LOOONG discussion of "What things did we do today?" (I started that when she was a toddler to help her process her day, and she still likes it, as do DH and I, except for it getting longer and longer.) Oddly enough, WE have to GET her to go to the bathroom most nights - "I don't HAAAVE tooo!!!!"

Our "order of events" basically goes: brush teeth (after which no more food), shower, jammies, books, potty, lights out, review the day while she gets a massage in the dark, then we leave with the usual "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the skeeters bite."

She IS allowed to come out to find us if she needs something - this from her feeling she couldn't come out if she DID need to use the bathroom and many nights of wet clothes and sheets - and we go through phases where she'll come out 2-4 times for potty trips or hugs. Thankfully, these only usually go for a night or three and things go back to normal - so far. LOL

When she does start to try to extend the bedtime process, DH and/or I will just tell her, "Honey, it's time for sleep." I've also been known to tell her I have to go to the bathroom or I'm going to bed shortly - usually true on those occasions - and she knows that when Mom has to GO, she has to GO! :lol: Call me a weasel, but it works!

[Cat]

Hey Deb!

OMG, congrats on your second one, Natalie!  

That's a good point about telling her that if she needs anything she can come out.  There were a few occassions when I heard her (Giselle) crying in her room because of a bloody nose or whatever.  I told her then, that she didn't have to wait in her room to wait, that to come get us if she needed us.  I'll have to re-iterate that again.  Thanks!