help! my 7wk old will not sleep in her own cot

[madelineowen]

Hi  Can anyone help!
 
I have a 7 week old who will not go down in her cot.

I have been following the easy routine and baby is doing OK, but will not go down her own cot.She currently sleep's with me in our family bed.

At first she would only sleep on a chest which was my fault. I felt guilty after 27 hours of labour and an emergency c-section. We had so many visitors that held her all the time she became very used to falling asleep on other peoples chest's.

I then decided to follow the Jeana Ford routine. She managed to fall into the feeding pattern of every 3 hours but wouldn't follow the sleep routine, so i decided to abandon this.

Lot's of people advised me to let her cry it out. I sort of did this but kept going into her as i felt so guilty.

I have tried the patting and sh sh but she gets into such a state that i have to rock her or offer her my breast to settle her again.

It's as if i am punshing her if i put her in her own cot. Everyday i try again but result to given in as i feel that some sleep is better than no sleep at all.

I currently express my milk and do half formula, which is lactose free as she has an allergy to cow's milk.

The breast just seem to be for comfort for her.

I really do not know what to do please can some on offer me some advise or help aids. I know that she is still young and it should be easy to train her but she is very advanced for her age and seems to know what I'm trying to do.

Madeline Owen- desperate Mother

[TJ & Stephy's Mommy]

I'm not sure if I'm going to be much help.  But your situation sounds similar to one of my friends.  My friend's GP suggested (this may sound hokey but it worked for her that she place a t-shirt that she has worn near her LO in the crib so that LO is able to smell the scent of her on the t-shirt.  The t-shirt may reassure LO that you are nearby and help sleep as if she was sleeping on you.

I've never done this but my friend has and it worked for her LO as her LO was use to sleeping with her.

HTH

[madelineowen]

Hi T.J's Mum,

Thanks for your advice i will give it a go if i need to. To my surprise today i woke up and felt really positive about giving it another shot in her crib. I decided to use the shh, shh, pat, pat and swaddling. We got up at 8.30 had a feed and then some play time on her chair with mummy an hour after her feed she started to yawn, so i took her off to wind down in the bed room. After 10mins i swaddled her gave her a paci and put her down in her crib. Sure enough she started to cry so i used the shh,shh, pat, pat. I had to pick her up a couple of times as she got upset. I had to carry on the shh, shh, pat, pat for a good 15 mins until she was really settled but she went off. I then followed the same routine for her next nap. This nap didn't go to well so we feed and then decided to try again after activity. She went off to sleep again in her crib. I can't believe it I am also very pleased to say that i have just put her to bed following the same routine and she went off to sleep after just 30 mins which is a world record for this time of night as it usually takes 2 hours. So fingers crossed i hope we have cracked it.

Madeline Owen- (Alicia's Mother and not so desperate now)

[Missy Lou]

madeline = i'm glad you're not so desperate now.   

in my experience, my LO pitches a fit when i try to put her in her crib when she's overtired.  do you think this could be your LO's problem also?  why don't you post her daily routine and times and we'll see if we need to adjust her routine at all.

also, i'm going to post some links about pat/shush.  first, it won't work if LO is overtired so we need to make sure she's on a good routine.  also, it probably winds LO up more when you pick her up a lot while she's trying to sleep so try your best to shush her while she's in her crib.  some babies find the patting irritating so make sure your LO doesn't mind the patting.  if you think it may bother her, you could try rubbing her back or arms instead. 

so post her routine and i'll post some links about pat/shush.  also, if you have more questions about soothing your LO, post on the pu/pd board.  the moderators on that board are really helpful.
melissa

[Missy Lou]

here's a link about pat/shush.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26671.0

[madelineowen]

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for the helpful site i read Tracy's interview last night.

Today has been a much better day she went straight in her cot, so i didn't have to pick her up at all. Her first nap didn't go so well as i think i missed her cue and i spent about an hour going into her on and off. Each time spending 20 mins doing pat/shh as this is what Tracy recommended for LO's under 3 months.

I now know that i wasn't really catching my LO's cue's and you were right she was overtired.

It's amazing once you get really into the EASY routine you really feel like your reading your LO. She been a lot happier this past two day's i can't believe it.

This is a rough guide to her routine over the past couple of day's. She sometimes sleep's one and half to 2 hours. I never let her sleep more than two hours. As i said before i was missing her cues and her sleep pattern wasn't very good due to her overtierdness. But i think i may be on the right track now.

E-7- 7.30 a.m.
A
S-8-8.30 a.m.

E-10- 10.30 a.m.
A
S-10.30 -11 a.m.

E-12 - 12.30 p.m.
A
S-1-1.30 p.m.

E-2-2.30 p.m.
A
S-3-3.30 p.m.

E-4-4.30 p.m.
A
S-5-5.30 p.m.

E-6-6.30 p.m.
A- Bath time. i usually feed her a little bit after her bath as she can get really upset after her bath and this seems to calm her.
S- 7- 7.30 p.m. wind down and bed. I was using a Nat Kingcole C.D. and left this playing but i think this may have been to overstimulating. After reading Tracy's interview i am now trying to sit quietly in the dark for 5 mins. I have always done bath and bed time the same from day one.

E-10- 10.30 p.m.
A-
S- 11- until she wakes me which is usually 3 or 4 a.m. and she will sleep until 7 a.m.

Let me know what you think?

Regards Maddy

[Missy Lou]

when you wrote "7 - 7:30" do you mean she eats some time between 7 and 7:30 or that it takes her 30 minutes to eat?

i just want to make sure i understand (long day and i'm afraid i may mess you up  )

i agree about how great this site is.  you always have to listen to your LO because the book and all advice are just guidelines and advice but the information is fantastic.  i can tell a huge difference in how long it takes LO to settle down for sleep when she's overtired.  i'm really excited to see that a different A time is helping your LO.  keep going with the routine - LOs sometimes go nuts after doing well for a few days but keep going and she'll get back on track.

also, LOs don't need to take more than a 2 hour nap.  So a 2 hour nap is great and don't worry about getting her to sleep longer than that.  you don't want her to nap for a really long time during the day because then she won't be tired for night time. 

white noise is great.  it helps to cover up outside noises and inside noises.  i use an ocean sound.  i read somewhere (on this site i think) that music itself can be too stimulating for LO.  DOn't know if that's true but I just kept using the ocean sound.

My LO didn't like baths too much when she was little.  i think in part because it's a space that she's alone in and it was cold.  i used a space heater - far from the tub - and closed the door so that it was like a spa.  i still do that actually.  also for a time, i'd take a bath with her and hold her. i did this until she was bigger (she was a premie) and filled the baby tub better.

i think it's great she only wakes once to eat.  definitely dont' worry about that. 

let me know about the question i had so i can make sure i understand the routine.  but i'm happy to hear LO seems to be doing better. 
melissa

[madelineowen]

Hi Melissia,

It all depends when she wakes i usually feed her in between thoses times.

I can't beleive it no sooner had i yesterday she managed to to myself not to worry i will feed her and then start again. However we had to go out and that's were it all went wrong. She got really upset in the restuarant.I think it was to stimulating. She then started to cough and sneeze a lot. She has got a cough and cold. Last night was a nightmare after her feed she threw up and then would not stop crying. She was finding it hard to breath. I resaulted to bringing her back in bed with me last night just so both of us could get some sleep. She went to sleep at about 9p.m. woke at 11pm feed and threw up then did the same at 3a.m. She hasn't been sick today but she hasn't slept all day apart fromt 20 mins here and there. She hasn' t let use put her down every time we do she start's to cry but it get's out of control. I'm taking her to the doctors tommorow. I figure that while she is ill there is no point in sticking to the routine as it's to destressing for her. What do you think?

Regards MAddy