Molly, I'm sorry you're getting such inconstructive help from your HV, you'd think the majority of them are sponsored by the formula making companies the way they go on. There are a couple things in your post that stand out:
DD can't be persuaded to take any more than she wants and has always had problems with weight gain (even though she is bright/cheerful/active and can go 3hrs between feeds no problem). If I try and feed her in between the 3hrs, she just has a few minutes drink - and then plays with me!!
A baby never starved infront of a full plate (or boob in this case
) you've ruled out a supply problem, she meets the normal criteria - happy etc, you kind of have to rely on the fact that she'll eat when she's hungry and won't when she's not. You didn't mention how many wet nappies you get in a 24 hr period, should be at least 6.
now I plotted her weight on the charts, and yes she is low, but is her height also very low? If height and weight are roughly in proportion to one another there shouldn't be a problem. Even if they aren't it's still rarely a problem, there are a lot of string beans out there! How about you and your dh, are you both on the small side?
(although she will take more from the bottle!)
Babies will take more from a bottle - they don't have to work for it, and that kind of overrides the "I've had enough trigger" AND breast milk has more calories and fat than formula, so they don't need as much.
However when weighed yesterday, he had gained 10oz in 2 weeks and the health visitor made my friend cry by saying this was not good enough, that she was not cut out for breast feeding, the reason he was awake in the night was because he was starving and that my friend should go home and do a yield and if she couldn't pump 6oz, she should quit breast feeding and switch to formula.
my dd gained 13oz in 2.5 months once (between 7 and 9.5 months) I freaked out, as she'd started above 60% and was then around 3%. The dr shrugged his shoulders and said "well, she doesn't look malnourished to me". He was right! I'm very glad you realized your friend's HV's COMPLETE RUBBISH about the 6oz pumping thing, this is utterly, gobsmackingly ridiculous! How many people bf fantastically but can't pump for toffee?
Here's a link to a nice letter I found from a mother with a low weight gain perfectly healthy baby:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBJanFeb98p8.htmlGood luck to you Molly, you sound like you've got your head screwed on your shoulders and you and your LO are doing just fine. May you have a long and happy breast feeding career. Keep us posted as to how you're getting on.