ACTIVITY > E.A.S.Y. Forum
Grumpy Babies...
Mom2katiebug:
Oh my dear! Big hugs! We had a lot of the same struggles as you and I swore you were describing my DD. She always had a top score of spirited, but touchy and grumpy were never far behind. Depending on what we were doing, we got all of those personalities!!
One thing that helped with all the fussing was earplugs. I actually recommend a dozen pair to all new parents who all laugh at me and think I'm weird when they realize I'm being serious. But, there's just so dang much crying and it was making me edgy which DD was picking up on....and the pattern would spiral. You can totally hear things around you, it just brings the crying down to a manageable level.
Another thing was acknowleding/accepting my feelings and really trying hard not to feel guilty about them. C'mon, let's be honest here...who would pick a cranky, demanding baby if given the choice? Weren't we all really, really hoping that our infant would be "the one"? Happy all the time, eats great, sleeps great, completely portable...but DD is a little person, just like me. And, lord knows, I'm not always a peach to be around! Why would I hold her to a higher standard? It's just not fair, but it doesn't make my feelings invalid either. (I equate it to not wanting to be around DH or friends when they're in a grumpy mood. Just call me later, please. But you can't do that with a baby.)
Something else was to give DD a voice. Before talking, her only way to communicate was to cry. For everything - unhappy, hungry, scared, bored, frustrated, pain, etc. So, if I could "label" why she was crying, it somehow in my weird brain, made it seem like different emotions. And, also helped me cope because it wasn't "just more crying" but really DD asking for help.
I think Tracy also mentions a loooootttt of warning for grumpy's before transitions so they have time to adjust and get their opinions out. Can't say this always worked for us.
We found a walker was really helpful in getting DD some independence (I know they're controversial, but it worked out SO well for us) and like pp said, it gets SO much better with time. Well, there's so much more to love as they get older, the doing it THEIR WAY hasn't changed for us and I really can't see it changing. But looking at the positive side...she's really going to run the show later on, I have no doubt. If she wants to, she'll conquer the world.
Just curious what were the subordinate traits when you did the test? Sounds like a lot of touchy and spirited in there too. Isn't that just a wonderful combination? ::)
jaedagal:
Hi Majas_mom,
I try to keep to the easy schedule, but with his naps being short and night time sleeping broken it's hard to. I do pu/pd with all his sleep. For naps it 50% the pu/pd works to get him back to sleep, but it usually takes over an hour and then it's like a 10-15 mins more because he has to wake for the feed time. It's not too hard getting him down for naps and nightime sleep -- it's just when he wakes. At night it usually takes 1-2.5 hours to get him back down. If he's happy I usually play quietly until he starts to grump out on me then I try again -- this is the hardest because he never wants to sleep after this.
7 -- Eat 4 oz
7:30 -- Activity (usually lasts an hour before he really starts to fuss and then it's basically me trying to keep from having a melt down till it's nap time -- same thing happens every activity time)
9 -- Sleep -- anywhere from 20-45 mins then pu/pd hoping he goes down again -- if he's happy there's nothing I can do and if he's grumpy I just keep at it
11 -- Eat 4-5 oz
11:30 -- Activity -- trying to get to 2 hours
1 -- Sleep 20-45 mins then pu/pd till hoping he goes down again
3 -- Eat 4-5 oz
3:30 -- Activity pretty low key trying not to get him angry
4:30/5 (usually it's 5)-- Sleep 20-30-- I try to not put him down at 4:30, but he gets really tired (yawns, fussy, rubs his eyes etc)
6 -- Activity -- walking around, singing gently, dancing gently
6:30 -- Bath
7 -- Wind down & 4-5 oz bottle
7:30 -- Bed
I've been trying to get him to eat more, but he doesn't want to. I've been giving a night feed and he downs that bottle and he wants another bottle at 3 am (he's pretty hungry at this time), but I've been trying to break that. I also don't pick him up unless he does his real cry -- I try not to hover over the crib and if he's upset I put a hand on his chest and rub his head for a few secs and say the normal mantra. I can't do the shhh pat because it works him up too much.
Hope that helps,
Laura
jaedagal:
Thank you sooooo much SuePrice, Jamie-jaina&luke and Mom2katiebug!!!
It's sooo nice to hear from others who went through and are going through the same thing. **sigh of relief** My attitude has totally changed a few months ago too... I had to come to the realization that my Oliver isn't colicky anymore and it's lasting too long to be teething -- it's just his high needs temperament. It's just that he's grumpy almost 24/7 and there hasn't been a two hour span of time where he hasn't screamed/cried his head off and yes ear plugs do help take the edge off. I do realize that he'll change before I know it and this too shall pass. I guess it's just hard getting through the day to day routine. Actually, SuePrice what your dad said is wonderful -- it made me stop and think.. He's right my lo is very alert (since day one) and curious (well till a point because he gets overstimulated so quickly). I've called him Mr. Grumpy Pants since he was 3 days old and have always said "it's his world I just live in it" because he really does make mommy and daddy jump to attention! It's funny I heard my husband yesterday morning (he put Oliver down to play while he went to the washroom) leap to attention and in his highest pitch voice ever "Aggg I'm coming Baby" when he gave his "Come hear DAMN IT" cry. I still crack up about it.
I've learned that I can't get him to do things i want.. Trust me that came very quickly -- we do what he can handle. I'm just running out of ideas because I do introduce things slowly every couple days to see if he'll like it (if he doesn't like it he's pretty vocal about it and turns his head away). We do talk a lot to each other -- that's a lot of our quiet activities. Or I tickle him (sooo ticklish). He's just learned to stay sitting up (well for a minute at a time) and he likes that... I do have a feeling he'll be much happier when he an be more independent and crawl around.
I do love him to death and he's such a cutie and he has many moments of happiness (manly just after a nap and a feed)! He does smile a good amount and he does laugh (but he's kinda stingy with his giggles) and really it's only when we are tickling him or lift him high in the air (he's going to be a lil dare devil because he loves to be man handled and loves it when daddy flys him around). :D
How do you guys get your lo's t sleep?! I try so hard not to under/over stimulate him - try to keep him up for the full activity time and still have no luck with naps. And with poor naps comes the poor night time sleeps.
Thanks again for the kind words,
Laura
Mom2katiebug:
Laura - Just had another thought...We were bottle feeding K with Nestle Good Starts and the Playtex drop-in lines as we found that really improved her disposition and sleep (still not a great but not completely horrible; must have been trapped gas). And, when we went to whole milk at 1YO, we actually tried rice milk and that seemed to tame things a bit too. Again, not great but down a notch. I wonder if trying another formula might work - maybe try soy? Or talk to your doc about other milk alternatives?
And, sleep has been a lifelong struggle for us (K's life). She is only now starting to sleep pretty well at night at 2YO. We usually still hear her 1-2 times per night, but she can mostly settle herself back to sleep, but it's only really been since July or so that this has started. Maybe a separate post, specific to sleep issues would be helpful.
And, regarding the food thing, K was the EXACT same way. Very light eater. I don't think she ever drank a 6oz. bottle in her life. We got stuck on 4-5oz. from about 4 months old and it topped out around 5oz eventually but never really got more than that. Now she's a very light eater on solids too. BUt, I must have mixed gallons and gallons of formula hoping, wishing, praying that she would somehow miraculously drink more.
jaedagal:
Mom2katiebug, we are actually trying to switch formulas to a lactose free one. Since i told the Dr. Oliver was still colicky at night (past the age for that now) he suggested I switch to soy, but I want to try the other type before i go to soy. I actually use the Dr. Brown's bottles which has helped a lot, but I'll give the Playtex ones a try. Anything is worth trying once! I'm also going to ask about silent reflux. He seems to have some of the symptoms, but I'm not totally sure. Like: still acting colicky, excessive crying, sudden crying, really hard to burp, when he has a wet burp he gives this face like he tasted something totally yucky, he doesn't spit up really -- if he does it's likely 30 mins or more after and it has like a cottage cheese look, and just something inside me tells me there's something wrong. I know he'll still be a grumpy one if that's the case, but it might help. I dunno I could still be grasping at straws trying to find a reason for such grumpiness.
Yeah, I'll try another post about his sleep problems. Argg it's just so hard when he won't go down and stay down.He's so picky with solids too. Just started . Dr. advised me to because he's a huge baby and he'll need iron really quickly (I think he said large babies like that their iron levels deplete really quickly) so he wants him on meat soon. I would stick to formula or rice cereal with iron but it bungs him up. The problem is he hates veggies (started it first) and very picky with fruit. He only likes bananas -- well I can trick him to eating other foods if I put a little bit of banana on the same spoon as the other food. The stinker has such a sweet tooth.
Thanks for you help! Much appreciated -- it's awesome to talk to other mom's how have gone through this.
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